A Retiree’s Last Trip to Kroger March 11, 2014
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.trackback
Yesterday I went to the local Kroger’s to buy a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake the Wonder Dog.
The woman behind me in the check-out line asked if I had a dog.
What did she think . . . I had an elephant?
On impulse, I said, “No, no dog. I’m starting the Purina Diet again. Last time, I lost 50 pounds before waking in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.”
She stared at me, mouth open, so I continued, “It’s an easy diet. Load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The nuggets taste great and provide balanced nutrition so I’m going to try it again.”
At this point, everyone in line was enthralled with my story.
“How did you end up in intensive care? Did the dog food poison you?”
“Oh, no, nothing like that. I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.”
Aah . . . that’s better!
Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)
Watch what you ask retired people . . . they’ve learned the art of passing time while waiting in line.
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Spirit Lights The Way 
Good one Nancy 🙂
Glad you enjoyed ~ Joe sends me some funny jokes.
Oh MY… 😆
It’s fun to respond to silly questions with outrageous answers. 😉
That’s priceless, Nancy ~ I’ll be chucking about it for hours! 🙂
I’m glad you enjoyed. I didn’t get around to writing a post yesterday, so I thought a chuckle would do.
made me smile, thanks
De nada. 🙂
Ask a stupid question and you get a… 🙂 Good laugh Nancy.
Exactly right!
You’re a riot:)
Glad you enjoyed, Carol.
I wonder if a dog would want to eat people food. During the recent, endless days of extreme cold and snow, I was sometimes stuck in the house, eating what is called ‘comfort food’. That consisted of Ronzoni macaroni products, meatballs, sausages and tomato sauce. I considered that ‘comforting’. I wonder if a dog would feel the same way? Would an Italian greyhound?
Every dog I’ve ever met LOVED people food.
Funneeeee! I needed a laugh this morning.
Me too!
I tried that diet and nothing happe.. Hold on I think I just heard the mailman.
RARARARARARARARARARARAR!
I’m so glad you’re not one of those yappy yippy little dogs! 😉
I think I was channeling Dino from The Flintstones.
Dino is the best beastie! DE~E~E~E~NO~O~O~O~O!
LOL! Hilarious 😀
Woof! 😀
I’d be the lady in line believing the story right up until the punchline! 🙂 Very funny!
I might or might not be taken in by the story, but I’d be laughing loud when the storyteller reached the punchline. 😆
Hah! Good one.
I love collecting and sharing jokes here ~ life is better with laughter.
Haha! This is too funny 🙂 (The upside of being buried in work and being days behind in blog reading is that I read this when I REALLY needed to lighten up.) People ask the dumbest questions in the name of conversation sometimes. (Comedian Bill Engvall would have fun with this one…here’s your sign!)
Yay! Glad you read it at just the right time.
And, yes, people do ask the dumbest questions in the name of conversation at times. As one comedian pointed out:
“There are no stupid questions . . . only stupid people.” 😛
Well done 😉
Glad you enjoyed, Tok.