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A Retiree’s Last Trip to Kroger March 11, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

Pluto-HappyYesterday I went to the local Kroger’s to buy a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake the Wonder Dog.

The woman behind me in the check-out line asked if I had a dog.

What did she think . . . I had an elephant?

On impulse, I said, “No, no dog.  I’m starting the Purina Diet again.  Last time, I lost 50 pounds before waking in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.”

She stared at me, mouth open, so I continued, “It’s an easy diet.  Load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The nuggets taste great and provide balanced nutrition so I’m going to try it again.”

At this point, everyone in line was enthralled with my story.

Pluto-Rollerskating“How did you end up in intensive care?  Did the dog food poison you?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that.  I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Watch what you ask retired people . . . they’ve learned the art of passing time while waiting in line.


1. Rainee - March 11, 2014

Good one Nancy 🙂

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Glad you enjoyed ~ Joe sends me some funny jokes.

2. Pix Under the Oaks - March 11, 2014

Oh MY… 😆

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

It’s fun to respond to silly questions with outrageous answers. 😉

3. Jacqueline King - March 11, 2014

That’s priceless, Nancy ~ I’ll be chucking about it for hours! 🙂

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

I’m glad you enjoyed. I didn’t get around to writing a post yesterday, so I thought a chuckle would do.

4. bwcarey - March 11, 2014

made me smile, thanks

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

De nada. 🙂

5. Don - March 11, 2014

Ask a stupid question and you get a… 🙂 Good laugh Nancy.

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Exactly right!

6. Carol Balawyder - March 11, 2014

You’re a riot:)

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Glad you enjoyed, Carol.

7. William D'Andrea - March 11, 2014

I wonder if a dog would want to eat people food. During the recent, endless days of extreme cold and snow, I was sometimes stuck in the house, eating what is called ‘comfort food’. That consisted of Ronzoni macaroni products, meatballs, sausages and tomato sauce. I considered that ‘comforting’. I wonder if a dog would feel the same way? Would an Italian greyhound?

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Every dog I’ve ever met LOVED people food.

8. Sandra Bell Kirchman - March 11, 2014

Funneeeee! I needed a laugh this morning.

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Me too!

9. ericjbaker - March 11, 2014

I tried that diet and nothing happe.. Hold on I think I just heard the mailman.


nrhatch - March 11, 2014

I’m so glad you’re not one of those yappy yippy little dogs! 😉

ericjbaker - March 11, 2014

I think I was channeling Dino from The Flintstones.

nrhatch - March 12, 2014

Dino is the best beastie! DE~E~E~E~NO~O~O~O~O!

10. diannegray - March 11, 2014

LOL! Hilarious 😀

nrhatch - March 11, 2014

Woof! 😀

11. Three Well Beings - March 12, 2014

I’d be the lady in line believing the story right up until the punchline! 🙂 Very funny!

nrhatch - March 12, 2014

I might or might not be taken in by the story, but I’d be laughing loud when the storyteller reached the punchline. 😆

12. I am J - March 12, 2014

Hah! Good one.

nrhatch - March 12, 2014

I love collecting and sharing jokes here ~ life is better with laughter.

13. jannatwrites - March 14, 2014

Haha! This is too funny 🙂 (The upside of being buried in work and being days behind in blog reading is that I read this when I REALLY needed to lighten up.) People ask the dumbest questions in the name of conversation sometimes. (Comedian Bill Engvall would have fun with this one…here’s your sign!)

nrhatch - March 14, 2014

Yay! Glad you read it at just the right time.

And, yes, people do ask the dumbest questions in the name of conversation at times. As one comedian pointed out:

“There are no stupid questions . . . only stupid people.” 😛

14. Tokeloshe - March 17, 2014

Well done 😉

nrhatch - March 17, 2014

Glad you enjoyed, Tok.

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