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A Retiree’s Last Trip to Kroger March 11, 2014

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.
30 comments

Pluto-HappyYesterday I went to the local Kroger’s to buy a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake the Wonder Dog.

The woman behind me in the check-out line asked if I had a dog.

What did she think . . . I had an elephant?

On impulse, I said, “No, no dog.  I’m starting the Purina Diet again.  Last time, I lost 50 pounds before waking in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.”

She stared at me, mouth open, so I continued, “It’s an easy diet.  Load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The nuggets taste great and provide balanced nutrition so I’m going to try it again.”

At this point, everyone in line was enthralled with my story.

Pluto-Rollerskating“How did you end up in intensive care?  Did the dog food poison you?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that.  I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Watch what you ask retired people . . . they’ve learned the art of passing time while waiting in line.