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Ponderable Ponderisms December 19, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
39 comments

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to “put your two cents in,” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?

Can you cry under water?

Why are you IN a movie, but ON TV?

Snoopy5

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in  the  carpool lane?

Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Goofy-Surprised

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They’re both dogs!

Pluto-Happy

If the professor on Gilligan’s Island  could make a radio out of a coconut, why couldn’t he fix a hole in a boat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Ever notice that “The Alphabet Song” and “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” have the same tune?  Did you start singing both songs?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Pluto-Rollerskating

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from unknown author (sent by Granny1947).