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The Christmas Key December 10, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, People.
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“What should we do about the kids snooping around for presents?”

At the image of four tiny detectives inspecting the premises for Christmas clues, dad grinned.  Then said, “Shhh . . . here’s Hercule.”

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Grasping Teddy, Jamie frowned.  “What’s her cue?”

“Hercule Poirot.  He’s a detective.  Like Sherlock Holmes, Nancy Drew, and Harriet the Spy.  Why are you up?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Give it another try.  Santa’s watching.”

“That’s why I can’t sleep.  Knowing he’s watching makes me nervous.”

“No doubt.  Back to bed.”

As Jamie shuffled off, mom frowned.  “I never snooped as a child. Did you?”

“Me?  Of course not. I paid Marjorie to snoop for me.”

“Ho Ho Ho.  Funny.  Now, be serious.  What should I do?  I leave gifts in the car until they’re asleep. Then, like a thief in the night, I tiptoe around doing a quick wrap and stash.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“They unwrap them! When they find a package with their name, they peel back the tape and sneak a peek.”

“Let’s wait until Christmas Eve to put names on the packages.”

“I’ll never keep them straight!”

“Use a code.  Instead of names, use numbers.”

“OK.  But what d’ya bet those little monkeys will find my cheat sheet?”

“It’s their Christmas.”

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Pursuant to plan, mom labeled gifts with assigned numbers.  One problem: she didn’t share her key code with dad before excess holiday stress and a mounting sleep deficit landed her in the hospital.  With pneumonia.

Dad had to unlock the code.  Alone.  Without a key.  On Christmas Eve.

He made a few mistakes as he swapped out numbers for names.  Of course he did.  That’s to be expected of a frazzled parent, short on sleep, with a wife in the hospital, four kids bouncing off the walls, snow to shovel, a dog to walk, and a job requiring ample time and attention.

On Christmas morning, we held our tongues.  We “oohed” on cue.

Later, when dad wasn’t looking, we reshuffled each mis-given gift to its intended recipient.

How did we unlock the code?

Elementary, my dear Watson.  We used mom’s key.

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Join Susanna’s 3rd Annual Holiday Contest ~> Merry Mishaps abound!

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Thanks to a mad twist of Hamlet’s Shakespearean soliloquy, Col selected me to host Haiku Monday this week ~ Enter at Haiku Monday ~ (A Twist of) Fate