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Santa’s Capture December 9, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Poetry.

Each Christmas Eve, I tried with might
To stay awake into the night
“I want to see Santa,” I thought with delight
No luck!  Each year I lost the fight

My eyes fluttered shut with passing light
Santa arrived to find them closed tight
My amateurish efforts, always in vain
“I want to see Santa” remained my refrain


How different my efforts this year will be
With the aid of advanced technology
I’ll capture that Sly Elf with help from Teddy
Oh, the result will be so heady

While I lie abed enjoying my slumber
Teddy will guard both tree and gifts under
In the morning, with bright wide-eyed wonder
I’ll reel in the images of our pluck and plunder

At last! At last! I’ll finally see
Santa arriving furtively
And leaving gifts for . . . me, me, me!
Before exiting via festooned chimney


At dawn, I’ll grab Teddy, to YouTube I’ll dash
“Santa’s Capture” will go viral in an Instagram flash
Wait! Maybe I should unload it on e-Bay for cash?
After tweeting about it with hashtag . . . #fatass

* * *

Christmas morn my dreams burst with a groan of dismay
Teddy hadn’t caught that fat Jolly Elf at play
Our nanny cam video would never garner bids on e-Bay
That Sly Jolly Elf had turned Teddy’s face the wrong way

Aah . . . that’s better!

Join Susanna’s 3rd Annual Holiday Contest ~> Merry Mishaps abound!

* * * * *

Thanks to a mad twist of Hamlet’s Shakespearean soliloquy, Col selected me to host Haiku Monday this week ~ Enter at Haiku Monday ~ (A Twist of) Fate  


1. shreejacob - December 9, 2013

LOL!! Santa is one well connected man 😉

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

He’s got a billion “elves” on his payroll. 😀

2. Tammy - December 9, 2013

Ah shucks!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

I imagine the let down would be tempered upon seeing the gifts piled under the tree. 😉

3. Pix Under the Oaks - December 9, 2013

Santa has it right!!!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Santa deserves a day at the beach after circumnavigating the globe on 12/24. 😛

4. kateshrewsday - December 9, 2013

Curses. Foiled again.
It has never occurred to me that you could use a Nanny cam for this purpose, Nancy….

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

It popped into my head when talking to my brother about the technology he uses to monitor mom’s movements overnight ~> if she crosses a beam of light (to go upstairs or outside), an alarm sounds in my brother’s bedroom so he can get up and check on her.

That got me thinking about what my little bro would have done with today’s technology on Christmas Eve to catch Santa in the act.

5. teresarobeson - December 9, 2013

Better luck with capturing that sneaky jolly old St Nick next Christmas…LOL! How funny. 😉

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, teresa! In these days of digital technology, Santa and his Elves must be sneakier than ever to avoid detection. :mrgreen:

6. Three Well Beings - December 9, 2013

Clever! Clever! Clever! Not all clever ideas work the first time. 🙂 Next year!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

You know some kids have tried this . . . but I haven’t seen any footage being sold on e-Bay! 😛

7. julie rowan zoch - December 9, 2013

Sneaky little rascals! Good luck!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Parents need to stay on their techno toes & watch Santa’s back as he comes down the chimney this year! Ho Ho Ho! 😆

8. jannatwrites - December 9, 2013

Hahaha…too funny. Had to chuckle at the #fatass…I don’t twitter, but I do get a kick out of some of the labels that go around 🙂

Smart parents. My older son is on a mission to ‘catch’ Santa, so I can relate to this one!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

I don’t twitter either . . . but that hash tag seemed perfect to describe Jolly St. Nick.

Keep an eye on your older son this Christmas Eve. 😯

9. Grannymar - December 9, 2013

Santa is far to cute for that game, he has escaped detection for a very long time! 😉

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Santa might even use a SSD (Signal Scrambling Device) to avoid detection via digital technology. 😛

Grannymar - December 9, 2013

It would not surprise me! 😆

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

He’s a tricky rabbit.

10. cherylsec - December 9, 2013

This is great! What a clever and fun story. Well done!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Cheryl. I’ve been out and about reading other entries. Susanna’s done it again. 😀

11. ericjbaker - December 9, 2013

hahaha! Well done.

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Eric! Care to play along? I know it’s a bit outside your chosen genre, but . . . Santa’s watching you. 😯

ericjbaker - December 9, 2013

#fatass is pretty much the pinnacle of this particular art form. I’ll stand back and admire. If a limerick hits me, maybe I’ll take a… er… crack at it.


nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Eric!

If you prefer, and don’t care about winning a PRIZE, you might enter a Haiku in Haiku Monday ~ The Twist of Fate. Judging will be both Arbitrary and Capricious.

12. Carrie Finison - December 9, 2013

Santa goes viral – ha! Very funny concept.

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thank, Carrie. Susanna’s contest provided the perfect place to post this poetic plan. 😀

13. colonialist - December 9, 2013

And now you have gone and been and won the Haiku Monday!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Col! I hope that I get as many great entries as you did this past week ~ we’ll see what Fate has in store for us.

14. Cathy Ballou Mealey - December 9, 2013

Oh dear…maybe it was that sly Elf on the Shelf who was waltzing Teddy away from the prime viewing area!

Funny and clever!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Cathy. I always have such FUN with Susanna’s themes ~ both the writing and the reading of other entries. And, oh the PRIZES. She’s outdone herself this time.

15. Donna L. Sadd - December 9, 2013


nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Donna! I’m glad you got a kick out of this frustrated documentary film maker. :mrgreen:

Donna L. Sadd - December 9, 2013

That explains a lot! Happy Holidays! :0)

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Here’s to the Ho-Ho-Holidays!

16. Christine M. Irvin - December 9, 2013

Trying to catch Santa on the Nanny Cam. Ha! Ha! Ha! I mean, Ho! Ho! Ho!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, Christine! Our little sneak struck out when he got out-snuck by Santa’s Elves.

nrhatch - December 13, 2013

I tried to leave a comment on your blog . . . but had no luck.

Roger is definitely getting coal in his stocking this year. 😆

17. sirvivhor - December 9, 2013

I used to use twitter and I can imagine that hashtag would get some laughable tweets! Really good – I enjoyed it!

nrhatch - December 9, 2013

Thanks, sirvivhor! That stanza is my favorite. I don’t Twitter or Tweet, but selecting hashtags must be fun. 😛

18. Yvonne Mes - December 9, 2013

#fatass hilarious! So funny 🙂

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Yvonne. That’s my favorite line. 😀

19. viviankirkfield - December 10, 2013

I smiled and chuckled all the way through, Nancy! Especially when I got to the hashtag #fatass…OMG…you are a very funny lady…and a darn good writer. Glad you joined in Susanna’s madcap fun.:)

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Vivian. Writing that tickles my funny bone chakra is my favorite ~ I love to laugh. Glad your pumpkin got promoted to elf.

20. sufilight - December 10, 2013

This was entertaining to read. lol I enjoyed the photos and the hashtag. It’s okay to be naughty. 😀

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Marie. A little bit of “naughty” is “nice.” 😛

21. Michelle Heidenrich Barnes - December 10, 2013

Poor kid… I guess there’s always next year! Love how you incorporated technology into your story.

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Michelle! I had a lot of fun writing this ~ kids today have some amazing technology at their disposal.

22. clarbojahn - December 10, 2013

Love this! And in Rhyme! 🙂

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Clar. My favorite books included the fun rhymes of Dr. Seuss and Mother Goose.

clarbojahn - December 10, 2013

While others were reading picture books, I was sitting around dining room table learning English with the help of a dictionary.

Merry Christmas! 🙂

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

I enjoy flipping through the dictionary for new-to-me words . . . but that would be a tough way to learn English. You did well in that endeavor.

23. Catherine Johnson - December 10, 2013

What a hoot Nancy! #fatass is my favorite part.

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Catherine! That seems to be the biggest hit of this holiday missive. 😀

24. Susanna Leonard Hill - December 10, 2013

Drat those parents! It’s almost like they wanted to keep Santa’s identity a secret! 🙂 And #fatass! Hahaha 🙂 Thanks for another delightful and entertaining contest entry, Nancy! You sure have a knack for this! 🙂

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Susanna. Glad you enjoyed my chosen hash tag!

Your contests are THE BEST! It’s such fun to do something a bit out of the ordinary.

25. Jarm Del Boccio - December 10, 2013

A fast-moving and fun story for the holidays. Thanks for sharing it!

nrhatch - December 10, 2013

Thanks, Jarm! Susanna has her work cut out for her ~ so many fun and festive tales!

26. Tracy Campbell - December 11, 2013

Santa sure keeps up with the times. Nicely done. 🙂

nrhatch - December 11, 2013

Thanks, Tracy. He invented GPS, you know. 😉

27. Beth Stilborn - December 11, 2013

Ho Ho Ho! Clever idea! Cleverer parents! Santa’s secrets are safe for another year.

nrhatch - December 11, 2013

Yay! Chalk up another one for Santa and his Elves. 😀

28. Stacy Couch - December 12, 2013

LOL! Clever idea–and love the hashtag and e-bay.

nrhatch - December 12, 2013

Thanks, Stacy! I enjoyed putting myself in the little snoop’s shoes. 😉

29. Patricia Tilton - December 12, 2013

I can totally relate to this. I remember how many times trying to catch Santa. Very clever story!

nrhatch - December 13, 2013

Thanks, Patricia. Judging from the comments, there’s a “little snoop” in most of us. 😀

30. Penny Parker Klostermann - December 13, 2013

You cracked (hee hee) me up with #fatass!!! Very funny entry, Nancy!

nrhatch - December 13, 2013

Thanks, Penny! Glad you got a kick out of it. Susanna has a bumper crop of great entries to choose from . . . she’s got her work cut out for her and her able assistant.

31. Martha Hubbard - December 13, 2013

A tech-savvy kid trying to catch Santa…I love it! Great job! 🙂

nrhatch - December 13, 2013

Thanks, Martha! Glad you enjoyed.

32. thiskidreviewsbooks - December 14, 2013

AWESOME story! I once made an iPod holder for my iPod Touch to capture Santa, but I forgot to turn my automatic shut-off off. 😉

nrhatch - December 14, 2013

Thanks, Eric. I thought you might have put your movie making magic (honed in the “Can’t Sleep Without Sheep” contest) to the test . . . by using your iPod to iSpy on the Jolly Elf Guy.

Ho Ho Ho!

33. Cecilia - December 15, 2013

it is always fun to play with poetry especially at Christmas. 🙂

nrhatch - December 15, 2013

Yes! It’s a grand game of “hide and seek” as we reach for just the right word, image, or rhyme. 😀

34. Buffy Silverman - December 15, 2013

This has plenty of kid-appeal–I imagine there are lots of kids plotting similar Teddy-cams right now!

35. bluebee - December 15, 2013

hahaha – I wonder how many kids will try this!

nrhatch - December 16, 2013

More than a few . . . but NONE that are worried about ending on the “Naughty” List. 😉

36. Stacy S. Jensen - December 16, 2013

Ha. He is sneaky. Great story!

nrhatch - December 16, 2013

Thanks, Stacy. I could see my younger brother doing this ~ he loved figuring out how things worked. 😀

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