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Haiku Monday ~ (A Twist of) Fate December 9, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Poetry, Word Play.


Thanks to a mad twist of Hamlet’s Shakespearean soliloquy, Col selected me to host Haiku Monday for this coming week.

You can read submissions from the TEN finalists at Haiku Monday ~ Some Short Haikus to Madness.

Thanks, Col!

Since I’m new to Haiku Monday, I fished through past posts to find “The Rules.”

After trolling around a few minutes, I found Fishy2Me’s summary:

Judging is always subjective but in our homage to the still missing Troll, we try to uphold his teachings by requiring these basics:

5-7-5 format
kireji the cutting word which connects two thoughts and,
kigo, a seasonal reference.

We award points for all of the above and bonus points for clever interpretation of the theme.

Visuals are optional but… well we really enjoy a great relationship between the ‘ku and the view.


OK . . . deep breath!

I dove again and came up with these rules posted by Doom:

The rules are simple.  Three line poems, with 5-7-5 as the syllable count.  Using question marks or “~”, “-“, or specific ‘turn’ words for emphasis or to set a change in notions is a fine option but not required.  Using a seasonal word to either frame the poem to a date, or indicate the current solar placement, is a fine finial as well.



I know I can judge entries for following the standard 5-7-5 format because I can count to seven without relying on my toes:

Why write a Haiku
if you can’t count to seven?
There’s always free verse

Since the terms “kireji” and “kigo” are not part of my every day poetic lingo, the judging may be a bit skewed this week ~> strictly “by the numbers” rather than “by the book.”

Haiku or Senryū?
Nature or human humor?
I’ll let you decide

But don’t let the harbinger of my skewed judgment stop you from entering.

Much of life is Random Luck.  A Crap Shoot.  A Roll of the Dice.  Serendipity. Synchronicity.  A Twist of Fate.


So there we have it . . . the theme this week is:

(A Twist of) Fate

Submit a Haiku (or two) in the comments below (or provide a link to your blog) by Monday, December 16th, at Midnight, Pacific Standard Time.

I will then painstakingly select the winner in an arbitrary, random, and capricious manner . . . just because I can.

If my subjective “by the numbers” approach fails me, I’ll roll the dice!

Aah . . . that’s better!

Related posts:  Haiku Monday ~ Quiet (Grumpy Granny) * The Verdict is In (Becca) * Haiku Monday ~ The Getaway Winner (Karl) * Haiku Monday ~ Your Way (Karl) * Haiku Monday ~ Madness (Colonialist) * Haiku Monday ~ Lightning (Where Whispers Linger) * Haiku Monday Winner ~ Shallows (Fishy2Me)

Santa’s Capture December 9, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Poetry.

Each Christmas Eve, I tried with might
To stay awake into the night
“I want to see Santa,” I thought with delight
No luck!  Each year I lost the fight

My eyes fluttered shut with passing light
Santa arrived to find them closed tight
My amateurish efforts, always in vain
“I want to see Santa” remained my refrain


How different my efforts this year will be
With the aid of advanced technology
I’ll capture that Sly Elf with help from Teddy
Oh, the result will be so heady

While I lie abed enjoying my slumber
Teddy will guard both tree and gifts under
In the morning, with bright wide-eyed wonder
I’ll reel in the images of our pluck and plunder

At last! At last! I’ll finally see
Santa arriving furtively
And leaving gifts for . . . me, me, me!
Before exiting via festooned chimney


At dawn, I’ll grab Teddy, to YouTube I’ll dash
“Santa’s Capture” will go viral in an Instagram flash
Wait! Maybe I should unload it on e-Bay for cash?
After tweeting about it with hashtag . . . #fatass

* * *

Christmas morn my dreams burst with a groan of dismay
Teddy hadn’t caught that fat Jolly Elf at play
Our nanny cam video would never garner bids on e-Bay
That Sly Jolly Elf had turned Teddy’s face the wrong way

Aah . . . that’s better!

Join Susanna’s 3rd Annual Holiday Contest ~> Merry Mishaps abound!

* * * * *

Thanks to a mad twist of Hamlet’s Shakespearean soliloquy, Col selected me to host Haiku Monday this week ~ Enter at Haiku Monday ~ (A Twist of) Fate