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Halloween Horror House October 30, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Fiction, Word Play, Writing & Writers.

IMGP4171“C’mon, Karen!  Let’s go into the Haunted House.  It’s Halloween.”

“Nah.  Let’s ride the Ferris Wheel, Brad.  It’s more my speed.”

“I thought you said you wanted to try new things.”

“I did, I do, but . . . ”

“Don’t worry.  I’ll protect you.  Just think how romantic it will be.  The two of us, wandering  through the dark, with only ghosts and ghouls for company.”

“I don’t know . . . ”

“It’ll be fun.  I promise!”

“OK.  OK.  Fine.  Let’s go before I change my mind.”

Hand-in-hand, Karen and Brad groped through the dark doorway .  Spider webs brushed Karen’s cheek, “Eeek!”

“It’s nothing, just some silly string.”


Unable to see, Karen slid her feet across the planked floor, straining to hear amid the screams that filled the house with decibels of surround sound.

The noise creeped her out.  As did the dark.  She let go of Brad’s hand to scratch her leg, then held her hand up in front of her nose.  Nothing.


“I can’t even see my hand, Brad.  Let’s get out of here.  I’ve had enough.”

Karen swung her arm out to reconnect with Brad, finding nothing but chill air.

“Stop playing around, Brad.  It isn’t funny.  Where are you?”

“I mean it, Brad.  Answer me!”

Just ahead, Karen heard a gasp, followed by a scream, then laughter.

“Oh, my god!  I think I stepped on a bloody corpse!  Eww!”

Nervous laughter erupted from the group.

Karen inched forward in the dark.  Being with a group of strangers would be better than being alone.  Right?  

Where the hell is Brad?

As she reached the group in front of her, a beam of light flashed over the bloody corpse splayed across the wooden floor.

Karen rolled her eyes in disgust, “Very funny, Brad!  Get up now.  I’ve had enough Halloween Horror for one night.”

The girl holding the flashlight pointed it straight at Karen.  “You know this guy?”

Karen held a hand up to shield her eyes, “Yeah. That’s my on again, off again boyfriend. Soon to be ex-boyfriend if he doesn’t stop playing games.”


The girl aimed the flashlight at Brad, sprawled motionless in the middle of the dark corridor.  She nudged the body with the tip of a black boot.

Karen stepped forward, “Brad, if you don’t get up right now, I’m going to kill you.”

“I don’t think he can hear you . . . he’s dead to the world.”

Karen noticed blood pooling under Brad’s head and started to scream.

She didn’t stop until the lights came on. By then, a flood of mummies and ghoulish figures surrounded Brad’s lifeless body.

Karen took in the surreal scene, transfixed by the blood.  The girl with the flashlight touched her arm, causing Karen to flinch.

“We called the police. They’re on the way. I’ll stay with you until they arrive. They’re going to want to question you. I’m Rachel, by the way.”

Karen nodded, “I told Brad I didn’t want to come in here.  I told him the Ferris Wheel was more my speed.  He didn’t bloody listen.  That’s always been his problem.  He’s doesn’t bloody listen.”


Aah . . . that’s better!

Want more?  For a True Ghost Story ~ When The Dead Refuse To Leave (Living on the Edge of the Wild)


1. Tammy - October 30, 2013

Now, what was better about that?

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

I thought the same thing, Tammy! Some people like horror tales (I don’t much care for them). But, when done, and the suspense is no longer killing me . . . I issue a sigh of relief. :mrgreen:

2. Pix Under the Oaks - October 30, 2013

Yikes! Creeeeeeepy.. 😯
Loved it.
Kind of like watching Castle!

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Thanks, Pix! While watching a commercial for a seasonal haunted house, I thought, “what a perfect place for a murder mystery.” The intended victim enters the house. Under cover of darkness, when everyone is intending to scare themselves silly, the murderer does away with him. If he screams out, no matter since no one is paying attention . . . it’s all part of the act. 😯

Pix Under the Oaks - October 30, 2013

Part two?

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Someday, maybe. Not right now. I thought I’d sketch out Act 1, Scene 1 . . . and let the idea continue to percolate.

3. Don - October 30, 2013

Wow! couldn’t stop reading – who killed Brad?

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Hmm . . . maybe a writer testing out his NaNoWriMo theory that a seasonal haunted house would be the perfect setting for the “scene of the crime.” NaNoWriMo does strange things to people. 😛

Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for commenting, Don.

4. colonialist - October 30, 2013

You have solved Brad’s problem for him very finally and thoroughly, haven’t you? 🙂

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Someone has! 😯

5. Grannymar - October 30, 2013

I have no finger nails left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Instant manicure! Hope they grow back in short order, GM! :mrgreen:

Grannymar - October 30, 2013

I will sit on my hands for the duration!

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

That’s the ticket!

6. kateshrewsday - October 30, 2013

Great horror tale, Nancy….I expect I shall visit a haunted house tomorrow 🙂

nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Ooh . . . make sure you watch your back! 😯

7. ericjbaker - October 30, 2013

Not bad for a non-horror person!


nrhatch - October 30, 2013

Thanks, Eric! Like Karen, the Ferris Wheel really is more MY speed. 😉

If I continue the story, I think the murderer should be a NaNoWriMo writer “gone wrong” (in his quest to find a suitable plot-line and setting for his 50K word novella).

ericjbaker - October 30, 2013


nrhatch - October 31, 2013

Hey! Wanna tag team it during NaNoWriMo? We can share our word count thrice daily . . . or more! 😛

8. Three Well Beings - October 31, 2013

I have memories of getting really hysterical in a haunted house, and when I came out I was wrapped all over some poor man I didn’t know. In fright I had just attached myself to him. LOL! This creeped me out, Nancy. Good job! The police will have their work cut out for them! And I will definitely NOT be going to a haunted house tomorrow. I’m a great big chicken!

nrhatch - October 31, 2013

Oh my! How old were you at the time? Was the poor man comforting a crying child? A terrified teen? Or an adult, amiss?

I am giving you a GOLD STAR for even reading this!!! I suspect the title scared many readers away. But I did that on purpose because I’m not much for “horror” in books, magazines, or blogs and didn’t want someone getting creeped out unless they entered the Horror House of their own volition.

And I’m with you. Last year, we did a tame Haunted Trails at DeSoto National Memorial. Creepy enough for me ~ wandering through the woods among actors running amuk in ghoulish make-up. Tonight we’re going to Fright Night on St. Armand’s Circle from 6-8. The HS Drama students perform “Thriller” while younger kids trick or treat from store to store.

Three Well Beings - November 1, 2013

I was about fifteen, Nancy! Such a funny memory! I can read scary things as long as I am in the safety of my home! LOL!

nrhatch - November 1, 2013

As a teen, I read scary books and watched Creature Feature every week. Now, I tend to steer clear of such fare. Light hearted stories with happy endings suit me best.

9. jannatwrites - October 31, 2013

Oh, I hate haunted houses. I’ve always wondered how you’d know if the crazy-eyed guy swinging the hatchet at you was part of the set up, or if he was serial killer looking for easy prey!

As for Brad…I guess that means they’re off again? 😛

I’m not much for horror, either. Looking forward to November and some normalcy!

nrhatch - October 31, 2013

Yes! That’s the same thought I’ve had ~ that “crazy-eyed guy” might have applied for the position because he’s CRAZY! Or, maybe, he wandered in off the street with his hatchet thinking that the horror fans groping in the dark would be “easy prey.”

I love Halloween, but prefer spooky and creepy and suspenseful to horror and gore. This is one HATCH that wants to avoid the HATCHET. 😛

10. shreejacob - November 2, 2013

Oh dear….wasn’t too romantic after all!
Anyways, when does a Horror House ever be romantic?

nrhatch - November 2, 2013

I agree . . . I am NOT at my romantic best when screaming and screeching in abject terror! :mrgreen:

shreejacob - November 2, 2013


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