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Are You Doing IT Right? September 23, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People, Spirit & Ego.
45 comments

3D-CowHave you ever written a blog post seeking reassurance that you’re not alone, that others view the world the same way you do, that you are doing IT (whatever IT is) right?

No?

Me neither.

When we are comfortable with the decisions we are making, that’s a sign that we are on the right track . . . for us.

That does NOT mean that we should encourage everyone else to follow us as we take The Leap and wait for The Net to appear.

It might not be a big enough net.  And it might not be the right leap for them.

7dwarfsWhen we have niggling doubts about decisions we are making, that’s a signal that we are on the wrong track . . . for us.

Human nature being what it is, and silly rabbits that we are, when faced with internal misgivings, we look around to see if others think we are doing the Right Thing.

Of course, what they think is none of our business.   They cannot tell us whether what we are doing is the Right Thing . . . for us.

Because their perspective is limited.  Their view is skewed.  They don’t know how we feel nor do they know which path we are meant to be following.  So their high fives, pats on the back, and nods of reassurance aren’t worth anything at all.

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Now, let’s say that while we’re putting IT out there and holding our actions up for a vote from a fellowship of our perceived peers (i.e., seeking reassurance from all the wrong places), someone comes along, looks at us askance, and notes that, IF we were comfortable with the choices we were making, we wouldn’t need to seek external validation from a posse of our peers.

What happens then?

Often, we get bristly and defensive.  Because WE wanted reassurance.  Not just from one or two people.  But from a hundred.  Or a thousand.  Or more.

Because, let’s be honest here, the Ego can NEVER get enough validation.  Like a pig feeding at a trough, Ego has an insatiable appetite.

HobbesAnd we are ANNOYED . . . even if we sugar-coat it with saccharine sweetness . . . because we wanted to be validated in the choices we’ve been making.

We wanted THEM to tell us we are on the RIGHT track.  We wanted high fives and pats on the back and nods of encouragement, not HONEST (*gasp*) feedback.

So our thoughts head south:

Who IS this person to look at ME askance and question what I am doing?  

They don’t know ME.  They haven’t walked in MY shoes.  They haven’t had the same experiences as ME.  They are not in a position to judge ME.  

Exactly!

If you want to know if you are doing it right, look deep.  The answers lie within.

Your perceived need for reassurance from others may be your heart asking you to make a slight course correction:

HEART:  “OMG!  What are you doing?  Why did you just run him through with a pitchfork?”

YOU:  “It’s OK.  I know what I’m doing . . . he tried to hit me with a forklift!”

HEART:  “But . . . “

YOU:  “No, really.  It’s OK.  I did the RIGHT thing.  I asked my posse and they all said I should keep doing what I’m doing.”

HEART:  “What do they know about the path you’re on?”

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Be open.  Listen.  Adjust your sails if necessary.  Consistency is over-rated.

Aah . . . that’s better!

”You have reached the pinnacle of success as soon as you become uninterested in money, compliments, or publicity.” ~ Thomas Wolfe

Related posts:  The Sound of Silence (Kate Shrewsday) * To Thine Own Self Be True * The Answers Lie Within * Daily Prompt ~ Fork Me!!!  (I Am Who I Am)

Bridge Street Blues September 23, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Music & Dance.
16 comments

On Saturday night, we went to Bridge Street on the island for a Blues Fest.

A small one to be sure.  And we didn’t hear any actual Blues.  But we enjoyed watching the Hoop Dancers while listening to live music on island time.

One dancer suggested I check out Beth Lavinder’s videos on youtube.  So I did.

She makes it look easy!

We didn’t spend long at the Fest.  We got distracted by bands playing at four other outdoor venues on Bridge St. ~ Island Time Bar & Grill, Blue Marlin’s Back Alley, Bridge Tender Inn, and Dive In (a real dive).

Ya, mon.  De island be hopping . . . it’s a happening place.

Except at sunset . . .

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When time stands still long enough for us to catch our breath.

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That’s it.  Toes in the sand.  Eyes on the sky.

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Exhale.  Again.  Leave your worries sitting in the sand.

Aah . . . that’s better!