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Do I Look Like A Pawn? August 28, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Less IS More, Life Balance.

IMGP3167b“How can you quit practicing law?  Don’t you realize how many women would love to trade places with you?”

“Of course.  And now they can.”

“What do you mean?”

“As soon as I resign, they can apply for my position.”

“Haha.  Funny.”

“I’m not kidding.  They are welcome to it ~ it doesn’t fit me anymore anyway.”

“Be serious.  You’re a role model for young girls ~ living proof that women can do anything they want to do.”


“So . . . that’s why you can’t quit.”

Chess“OK, let me see if I follow you . . . in order to prove that women can do anything they want to do you want ME to keep doing something I no longer want to do?”


“No thanks.  Sacrificing my freedom will not enhance their freedom ~ it would just turn me into a pawn.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Quote to Ponder:  Don’t worry about what the world wants from you.  Focus on what makes you feel more fully alive. What the world really needs are people who are fully alive.~ Joseph Campbell

* * * * *

Hand-moving-chess-pieceDo you resist being manipulated by public opinion?

If someone tries to play you, do you put them in “check” by highlighting their faulty reasoning or nonsensical logic?

Do tell.

I always wanted to be somebody . . . now I realize I should have been more specific. ~ Lily Tomlin


1. aawwa - August 28, 2013

Good for you! Just because you CAN do something it doesn’t mean that you have to! The choice is yours – I know you know that already – just saying it to remind myself 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Thanks, Lorraine! I have never aspired to be a “Poster Child” or a “Political Statement” (despite ample invitations to do just that).

We don’t have to be who they want us to be.

2. katecrimmins - August 28, 2013

I got a little of this when I retired. After all I have made it to the top, penetrated the inner big boy circle. I had influence. Now I have peace and the ability to write which I always wanted to do. Write real stuff that isn’t policies or “thou shalt not” memos. Spend time with people I love. Pet my pets. Oh, btw, they replaced me with a guy!

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Good for you, Kate. We don’t have to become a “walking banner” for this cause or that just because someone else views our doing so as expedient.

As Billy Joel noted: “I don’t care what you say anymore . . . . this is MY life. Go ahead with your own life and leave me alone.”

3. Pix Under the Oaks - August 28, 2013

Nope, lately I don’t let anyBODY else try to tell me what I ought to do or who I should or shouldn’t be. I listen to the suggestions because I would hate to miss something that might be good but the final decision is mine and I know what is comfortable for me. There is such a luxury in being older and saying “no”. But oh the looks of sadness on some faces.. 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Yes! It’s so liberating when we decide to steer our own ship! If we’ve been a “yes man” for any part of our life, it is luxurious to revel in the power of “no.” :mrgreen:

4. Nancy Curteman - August 28, 2013

Although I love my life profession, I had thought being a lawyer might have been interesting.

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Incredibly interesting. I wouldn’t have missed the experience for the world. I loved being a lawyer . . . until I stopped loving it.

I spent 3 years in law school and 13 years litigating. Sixteen years was long enough. At that point, I was ready to switch gears and careers.

5. Andra Watkins - August 28, 2013

At this point, I really don’t care what people think of me. But, I don’t often call people out on their logic (yesterday excepted). I used to, but I didn’t do it very well. I’ve never had that Southern ‘bless your heart’ personality.

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Oh, my, your comment brings back memories of my time in South Carolina . . . the capital of “bless your heart” ville. 😛

Patricia - August 28, 2013

I hardly ever hear that expression anymore. I think SC has enough of us replanted Yankees to make it a thing of the past.

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

My neighbor in NC (from SC) used it daily ~ it had different connotations depending upon the context of the conversation.

6. kateshrewsday - August 28, 2013

That Lily Tomlin quote is amazing, Nancy, I love it. It takes real strength to be true to yourself, and a centredness which is rare. I think you have made some great life decisions.

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Thanks, Kate. Lily Tomlin is such a hoot! What a fantastic role model for aspiring comedians.

Looking back, I have to agree that many of the life decisions I’ve made have been “winners” (for me, at least).

7. jannatwrites - August 28, 2013

It’s your life and your freedom to choose what you do with it..

I haven’t really had pressure to do (or not do) something to be a role model. I’m okay with that.. Someone could try to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do…I won’t do it just because they said I should. That’s crazy 🙂

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

In Law School, the Women’s Law Society put pressure on me to be their “pawn” because of my class standing. I passed on that opportunity. And more than one person put pressure on me to stick with the law to “prove a point” (even if doing so would have been at the expense of my own happiness).

Since leaving the law, societal pressure has included joining causes that didn’t interest me . . . or volunteering in ways that held little appeal. When need be, I just remind people that I’m the boss of me. :mrgreen:

8. bluebee - August 28, 2013

Don’t you just hate it when people try to manipulate you in this way to get what THEY want?

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Yes, I do! 😀

Especially when they aren’t the one on the “front line” lugging boxes of heavy litigation materials over 3-foot-high snowdrifts in the middle of winter . . . or being asked to be in 3 different places at the same time by 3 different judges.

9. colonialist - August 28, 2013

*just to be difficult* But if you carry on in the game and get to the opposition back line, you get to be a queen and call the shots?

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Not really. In the legal arena, even the heavy hitters have to play 2nd fiddle to judges, juries, clients, and partners.

Whereas by stepping fully into MY life . . . I get to call ALL the shots without having to answer to anyone.

colonialist - August 29, 2013

Point taken!

10. Perfecting Motherhood - August 28, 2013

I think it’s human nature to give our unsolicited opinion on everything and anything. Commenting on people’s professional lives is very common but I think the worst is when you’re a parent. EVERYBODY has something to say about what you do and how you do it. A co-worker years ago gave me the best piece of advice on how to handle those comments: “everybody thinks they’re an expert, but all they have is an opinion.” So I thank people for sharing their opinion, and I leave it at that.

nrhatch - August 28, 2013

Yes! I try not to “backseat drive” with friends who are parents. It’s so easy to toss out advice when you don’t have to follow it.

I find it easy to ignore opinions that don’t resonate with me. It’s harder to ignore a specific request that requires a “yes” or “no” answer. For example, when people want you to join their fundraising efforts or volunteer for their favorite cause.

11. shreejacob - August 29, 2013

I didn’t get that logic either!!
Hmm..I’m still a little scared that I’ll hurt people’s feelings when stuff like that happens. I just smile, nod my head and then do exactly what I want to! hehe

nrhatch - August 29, 2013

Each of us has to find an approach that works . . . preferably one that doesn’t require us to be a doormat for other people’s baggage. If you can ignore people without hurting their feelings, that’s great. But some folks are “persistent.”

When “they” are operating under the mistaken assumption that they have a vote in how I live my life, and gentle hints don’t work, I am not averse to spelling it out for them. :mrgreen:

shreejacob - September 3, 2013

Mhmm…I have had good luck with my “act blur and nod head” thingie…but you know as I become older (Let’s just conveniently forget I’m 41 this year…ahem), I’ll probably not be too bothered and tell them what I really think! (nicely….I hope..lol)

nrhatch - September 3, 2013

My goal: Be Kindly Honest. 😀

12. William D'Andrea - August 29, 2013

Do you look like a pawn? No. You don’t look like a rook, knight or bishop either. You are definitely the Queen.

nrhatch - August 29, 2013

Haha! That’s me . . . Queen of my own domain. 😎

13. Three Well Beings - August 29, 2013

I love the Lily Tomlin quote. That was certainly true of me at one point. I am still working mainly because I really enjoy my work and I have the ability to adjust my schedule from week to week.The day it no longer fits, I’m done. But I am so glad I don’t have any pressures to conform to anything specific. I think I am rather easily satisfied. 🙂

nrhatch - August 29, 2013

It’s great that you enjoy your work and have a flexible schedule ~ that goes a LONG way towards making work work. 😀

I’ve had some great positions over the years . . . including the one I held at the Arts Center.

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