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A Scotsman At The Pearly Gates August 19, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke.

A Scotsman appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

“Have you done anything of particular merit?” asked Saint Peter.

“Well, I can think of one thing,” the Scotsman replied.

“Just outside Glasgow, I came upon a gang of bikers threatening a young woman.

“I asked them ta leave her alone; but they didna’ listen.

“So, I smacked the largest most tattooed biker in the face, ripped out his nose ring, and kicked his bike over.  Then I yelled, Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of the lot of you!

St. Peter nodded and asked, “When did this happen?”

The Scotsman shrugged, “It’s a bit hard ta say.  I seem ta have lost track of time, but it’s the last thing I remember before arriving here.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Joe M.)

Illustration:  Wikipedia ~ Heaven (in Public Domain)


1. susanthecoach - August 19, 2013

LOL!! Just spent 3 months in Glasgow – I can relate!

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Och . . . y’er a wee lucky lass to hae spent 3 months there. 😀

2. colonialist - August 19, 2013

That does figure!
Though, hopefully, there was a group of bikers trailing after him …

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Ye dinnae want his braveheart to be fer naught, do ye?

3. aawwa - August 19, 2013

Very good! We just finished watching the Intouchable – great movie – thanks for the tip 🙂

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

I’m glad you enjoyed The Intouchables. What a life-affirming film it is. 😀

4. William D'Andrea - August 19, 2013

A few days after an elderly man arrived in Heaven, an Angel asked him,
“Do you remember when you were 10 years old? You had a dog who was hit and killed by a car he was chasing.”
“Oh yes. I was very sad about it for a very long time.”
“Then cheer up! You are about to be reunited. He is now in Pergatory, waiting for you to call him.”
“Wait a minute.” The man asked the Angel, “What is a dog doing in Purgatory?”
“Well he was a bad dog. He was chasing cars.”

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

It would nae be heaven if we were nae reunited with our pets. 😀

5. Don - August 19, 2013

Thanks for the laugh Nancy. Loved it.

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Glad you enjoyed, Don. Joe sent it to me on Saturday and I knew I had to pass it along.

6. Pix Under the Oaks - August 19, 2013


nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Here’s to your week getting off to a grand start, lassie!

7. spilledinkguy - August 19, 2013

HA! Well… I mean… extra bonus points, then, right?! 🙂

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

When I was young, I pictured Santa and God sharing a ledger book with one page for each of us. Their helpers watched our doings and beings and gave us check marks (or demerits) for each act (or omission) of note.

The closer it got to Christmas . . . the more I worried about those black marks and which column they landed in. 😛

8. ericjbaker - August 19, 2013

More Scots humor? My great grandfather’s DNA is starting to be offended!

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Och, mon, ye need to lighten up a wee bit. I’m 50% Scot . . . and I love this joke. :mrgreen:

ericjbaker - August 19, 2013

My Irish great grandfather’s DNA just bought him a beer to settle him down. Old Jake knew from beer, or so I understand.

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

That’s a grand gesture!

One of the plays being presented by the Island Players this year is And The Winner Is . . . by Mitch Albom.

An obsessed movie star is finally nominated for an Oscar and dies the night before the award ceremony. Determined to know if he wins, he bargains with his heavenly gatekeeper ~> Seamus, the Irish barkeep at Heaven’s Door. 😆

9. Andra Watkins - August 19, 2013

*****nods to the Scots ancestry in family tree**********

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

A wee bit of shared ancestry among the comments today. Yay!

10. Eric Tonningsen - August 19, 2013

How I want to go. Quick. Even if it entails a wee bit ‘o pain.

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Beaten to death by a gang outside Glasgow is NOT my preferred method of passage. 😀

I’d like to make the sojourn while sound asleep in the Land of Nod.

Eric Tonningsen - August 19, 2013

It could have been a searing bullet to the head. Done! But, of course, we’d love to pass whilst deep in slumber. I was merely dreaming. 🙂

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Gotcha! And you might be right about that bullet . . . I was picturing flailing chains and PAIN. 😯

11. Grannymar - August 19, 2013

Nancy, you are bringing back memories of my many trips over the sea to Scotland when Elly was at university there. I have some happy memories of the place and the people.

nrhatch - August 19, 2013

Awesome! Glad to hear it.

12. Tammy - August 20, 2013

hahaha! Thank you!

nrhatch - August 20, 2013

Glad you got a chuckle from this fine chap.

13. jannatwrites - August 21, 2013

Hahaha! Good one, Nancy!

nrhatch - August 21, 2013

Glad you enjoyed!

14. sufilight - August 21, 2013

Hahaha, oh, I loved this! 😀

nrhatch - August 21, 2013

Yay! There’s nothing like a good joke to brighten the day.

15. shreejacob - August 21, 2013

Awww…I guess we know how that good deed ended up..hehehe

nrhatch - August 21, 2013

He’s pretty “rough and tumble” for a “Good Samaritan.” :mrgreen:

16. Three Well Beings - August 22, 2013

I have a good dose of that good Scotch blood, too, Nancy. 🙂 I can always hear my grandmother’s voice when there’s a story with a brogue…she’d have liked this. 🙂

nrhatch - August 22, 2013

Yay! Another fine Highland Lass! 😀

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