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Fake and Forced Fun is No Fun July 23, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Music & Dance, People.

gallery1birdbeatSuzi wrote a post a few weeks ago about music being the universal language.

I agree.

With whole heart.

Music pulls us together, whether it’s a jazz trio, a drum circle on the beach, or an entire symphony offering a shared experience.

Attending concerts, especially outdoor concerts, is relaxing and energizing.

I seldom need an invitation to start dancing.

In fact, I sometimes dance in the ice cream aisle at Publix while perusing the freezer cases for buckets of Blue Bell Pralines and Pecan.  But only if there is a really good song playing over the loudspeakers.

Music connects us to the shared heart beat of life.


Except when it doesn’t.

A few weeks ago, we attended a Jimmy Buffett deck party at the Anna Maria Oyster Bar.  As we sat on the Halftime Deck celebrating our 29th Anniversary, we listened to Buffett tunes and watched people “trying too hard” to have fun.

One over-zealous party animal circulated through the crowd, clapping her hands in people’s faces, while encouraging them to reciprocate.

No luck.


Another card-carrying parrot-head started tossing a beach ball around the crowded deck while screaming, “Let’s get this party started!”

Blank stares.


Have you ever tried to play catch with a cat who isn’t in the mood?

You toss the ball (or beach hat).  The cat stares at it.  Then at you.  Without making any effort to retrieve the proffered toy.

To continue playing, you must be both tosser and tossee.


That’s what happened.

Mr. Party Enthusiast tossed the beach ball, hoping to having someone bat it back to him.  When no one did, he retrieved the ball and tossed it again.  And again.  And again.

A third party-goer tried tribal screams:  “Margaritas!”  (Nada.)  “Tequila Shot!” (Nothing.)  “Cheeseburgers in Paradise!”  (Bemused glances.)   “Searching for my lost shaker of salt!” (No Response.)  “Landshark!”   (Zilch.)

Our FREE Anniversary Appetizer arrived . . . pretty as a party on a plate!


I sipped my FREE Sangria and nibbled my FREE Anniversary Appetizer while grinning at the tireless trio’s efforts.

The more desperate the trio became to create enthusiasm, the more fake, forced and phony it felt.

No Fun.


Sometimes sitting & sipping on the sidelines at Halftime beats forced frivolity.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Have you ever witnessed people trying too hard to have fun?

It’s a big pile of AWKWARD, isn’t it?  :mrgreen:

Jazz Trio by Barbara Hines ~ Island Gallery West


1. nuvofelt - July 23, 2013

Frequently 🙂

Maybe I need to change my circle of friends?

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

When FUN happens organically, it’s energizing ~ laughing, playing, singing, dancing, moving and grooving to the music.

But when people try to shove “fake fun and forced frivolity” in my face, I’d rather watch. 😎

2. SuziCate - July 23, 2013

EXACTLY 🙂 Nothing worse than someone else trying to force you to have fun “their way” when you’re perfectly content in your own way.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

Instead of listening to the music, humming or singing along to the Buffett tunes, and relaxing into the evening . . . they wanted “instant gratification.”

Maybe they wanted proof that they were at the right party?

Instead of being patient, they kept trying to jumpstart things. It was comical. :mrgreen:

3. ericjbaker - July 23, 2013

**fist pumps**

WOOOOOOO!!!! Right on!

You mean like that?

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

Yes! Woo hoo! You caught my drift! 😛

Have you ever watched Ina Garden, the Barefoot Contessa? She laughs all the time. She uses made-for-TV laughter as the exclamation point to each and every sentence:

Guest: Oh, Ina, this bruschetta is delicious.”
Ina: You need super fresh tomatoes. I got them at the Farmer’s Market this morning! {{ha ha ha}}

Guest: Well it’s just wonderful
Ina: And it’s so easy. You just throw it together. {{ha ha ha}}

Actually, come to think of it, Paula Dean does it too.

Maybe it’s from spending too much time in a hot kitchen? Or from being around Bobby Flay? :mrgreen:

ericjbaker - July 23, 2013

You’ve captured my thoughts in drinking games. Really, drinking from a keg upside down until you puke is fun? Believe what you want folks.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

My favorite drinking game used to be Beer Pong . . . to play you had to be able to (1) stand up and (2) swing your paddle.

Hitting the ball was optional. 🙂

My favorite comedy routine on how stupid it is to drink until you are stupid has to be the one by Bill Cosby.

4. katecrimmins - July 23, 2013

Something I have experienced is someone describing an event that I had attended but their description made it sound like something it wasn’t. Like something no one should have missed. Like Woodstock. Then I wonder if I was at the same place! I always think they are trying to enhance their party reputation.
I did see the beach balls at a big venue concert once. Everyone was dancing and no one was interested in watching the balls. They ended up hitting a couple people and zap they were gone.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

Yes!!! Sometimes it’s to enhance our reputation with others (“I am uber cool!”), but human beings also like to convince ourselves that we made the RIGHT decisions. So we say:

* I watched the BEST TV show last night!
* We had the BEST meal last week!
* OMG! I went to the BEST sale at SAKS!
* I have the BEST doctor ever!

I thought about trying to convince you all that this was the BEST Parrot-head Party EVA! But I cannot tell a lie. 😛

I’ve been to concerts with beach balls being tossed about and it works great . . . AS LONG AS people aren’t eating a plate of nachos with one hand while drinking a margarita with the other!

The AMOB Halftime deck was too crowded with people eating and drinking for folks to follow the bouncing ball.

katecrimmins - July 23, 2013

Well, how about this is the best blog ever!

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

OMG! That is the BEST comment EVA! 😛

5. William D'Andrea - July 23, 2013

That’s one advantage to watching things on TV, instead of actually attending the event. You can always switch it off, or to another channel, and it hasn’t cost you a cent.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

We went because we love Jimmy Buffett and AMOB had offered us two FREE glasses of Sangria and a FREE appetizer for our anniversary. Hard to pass up an opportunity like that.

And we did have a great time . . . quietly chatting to each other while sipping Sangria, nibbling on a delicious quesadilla, and watching people trying to kick-start the party.

6. jannatwrites - July 23, 2013

I’ve encountered people like that and I actually feel embarrassed for them. My friends? We’re the quiet ones raising our eyebrows and shaking heads as we witness the making of fools.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

We left after about an hour when the party was still in “low gear.” Once the Margaritas kicked in, I’m guessing the party swung up a notch or two on the “making of fools” radar screen. :mrgreen:

7. Eric Tonningsen - July 23, 2013

Yes. Witnessed, rolled eyes, at times mumbled something less than complimentary and then departed to find a better venue. Sometimes, FREE just ain’t worth it.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

We had a great seat at the far end of the deck . . . and when we tired of watching them “trying too hard,” we headed home.

Aah . . . that’s better!

8. Pix Under the Oaks - July 23, 2013

Yes. I always cringe. I feel embarrassed for them.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

We’ve been to non-profit events where someone is trying to “drum up enthusiasm” for a FREE kid’s activity (painting, sticking cloves in oranges, etc.) and we’ve pitched in to help them get people’s attention ~ because what’s the use of having a BIG mouth if you’re afraid to use it? :mrgreen:

But we decided to let these Parrotheads “fly or die” on their own.

9. kateshrewsday - July 23, 2013

Awkward, indeed beter to be comfortable inside your own skin.

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

We felt deliciously comfortable sitting on the sidelines, sipping our drinks. Maybe we’ll jump into the fray of forced frivolity at the next party. Nah. Probably not. 😛

10. shreejacob - July 23, 2013

LOL…it is and I will tell you that I may have been guilty of it, but in a different way…I just out right tell my friends “Gawd this is so boring! Let’s *do* something FUN!”…though now I find I prefer just sitting down and “chilling”! lol.

I love music and I just thought about it, maybe music is the universal language because it has no words…? Even if the lyrics to a song may be not your taste but if the beat and the music is awesome, you just find yourself liking it! Well I do anyways 🙂

nrhatch - July 23, 2013

My favorite evenings involve small gatherings of convivial people who like to laugh and engage in interesting conversation.

Yes! Music is a great shared experience that requires no words.

11. sufilight - July 24, 2013

Sometimes a party of two is more fun. 🙂 The pizza and sangria looks delish-ious. Haven’t had sangria in years, have to try it again.

nrhatch - July 24, 2013

“Party of two?”
“Yes!” 😀

This Sangria was perfect . . . not too tart, not too sweet.

12. diannegray - July 24, 2013

LOL – I could see these people reading this post, Nancy. I think I’d find it annoying. It would probably have worked if they just had fun instead of forcing it – fun is contagious, but forced fun is just embarrassing 😯

nrhatch - July 24, 2013

We’re glad we went . . . but we also enjoyed leaving when we did before people had “tee many margarootis.” 😀

diannegray - July 24, 2013

LOL! 😀

13. Tokeloshe - July 26, 2013

Happy Anniversary!
Glad they didn’t spoil it for you.

nrhatch - July 26, 2013

Oh, not at all. I felt a bit bad for the tiresome trio . . . but I’m sure they got people pumped up eventually.

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