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Love The Scots June 24, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
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Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous for being somewhat self-righteous.

At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, Bono asked the audience for total quiet.

Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.

Holding the audience in total silence, he leaned into the microphone and said, “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.”

From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet . . .

“Well, fooking stop doing it then, ya evil bastard!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

* * * * *

Today is the LAST day to vote for Kate.  She is in the Top Ten right now, but #11 is only 21 votes behind her . . . so she needs YOUR vote!

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Ach . . . that’s better!

Comments»

1. Jayde-Ashe - June 24, 2013

That. Is. Awesome!

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

Glad you enjoyed! Granny sends me some funny stuff. When I’m too busy (er, lazy) to write . . . they come in handy.

2. Pix Under the Oaks - June 24, 2013

I love the Scots too.. 😀

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

I can see this happening just this way. 😀

3. Grannymar - June 24, 2013

That is like something you would hear in a Dublin audience!

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

I could see it happening there too.

4. ericjbaker - June 24, 2013

I’m 1/8 Scottish, but I’m also 1/8 self-righteous, so I’m not sure how I feel about this.

😉

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

Hahaha! I love this joke . . . but I’m 50% Scottish and only 23.47% self-righteous. :mrgreen:

5. shreejacob - June 24, 2013

Bahahahahah! oh wow….that is priceless!

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

Often, when we take things “literally,” hilarity ensues. 😉

6. spilledinkguy - June 24, 2013

Hahaha… oh, wow… that is pretty funny! I have to admit I do like U2, and I really do appreciate the work they do, but, yeah… sometimes it can come across a bit… well… you know.
🙂

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

I’m with you, SiG. I have nothing against Bono or U2 and am glad to see celebrities use their fame to improve the world. But when celebrities use their time in the spotlight to bring attention to issues of import, they’re walking a tightrope.

It’s easy the “privileged few” to come across as sanctimonious.

7. Don - June 24, 2013

Only a Scot can respond like that, lol – Love to know how Bono responded.

Added my vote.

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

It sound grand in a broad Scottish brogue. I could see this as a Monty Python skit. 😛

Excellent! It’s so close at the moment between Kate and her next-in-line contender. Voting closes at midnight.

8. Andra Watkins - June 24, 2013

Haha. Good for her.

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

Kathy sends me some funny stuff. 😀

9. L.A. Lachapelle - Notes From Caeli's Well - June 24, 2013

There is self-righteous and there is confidence…I don’t think he is self righteous to bring a message…and what a comment 🙂 you have to love a scot for lightening the mood. 🙂

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

Oh, I agree . . . I appreciate confident celebrities who “do good” with the airtime they have at their disposal. I debated taking “self-righteous” out of the joke before posting but decided to leave it “as is.”

L.A. Lachapelle - Notes From Caeli's Well - June 25, 2013

It was perfect as is, fully enjoyed the read 🙂

nrhatch - June 26, 2013

Thanks.

10. sufilight - June 24, 2013

LOL! The Scot’s response caught me by surprise. 😀

nrhatch - June 24, 2013

It’s that surprise that makes for the best jokes. Glad you enjoyed.

11. Three Well Beings - June 25, 2013

If only it were that simple, huh? My dad is Scotch…his mind does work like that. LOL!

nrhatch - June 25, 2013

Yes. Definitely not a “clap on, clap off” sort of problem.

Some might see the Scot in this joke as “simple minded” (for missing the point of Bono’s clapping). I see him as awake and aware. He really HEARD what Bono said and responded in kind. :mrgreen:

12. bluebee - June 25, 2013

hehe – very few of these megastars manage to escape becoming complete nobs. Bono, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, to name but a few – this recent narcissitic babble from Mr Pitt:

“My wife got sick. She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. She has lost 30 pounds and weighted about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs. She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon… But then I decided to act on it. After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. She is the ideal of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders. I began to pepper her with flowers, kisses and complements. I surprised her and pleased every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends. You won’t believe, but she has blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much.

And then I realized one thing: “The woman is the reflection of her man”

Yes, Brad, it’s all about you…

nrhatch - June 25, 2013

Wow! It’s a good thing he gets to read scripts for a living because he sounds “more stoopider” than the spammers who land in my in-box. He sounds retarded.

And “ewww” . . . he is just creepy obsessed with her looks (and, no doubt, his own).

13. diannegray - June 25, 2013

Good grief – I love the Scottish humor! If I go to a concert I paid to be entertained, not to be preached to 😉

nrhatch - June 25, 2013

That’s an excellent point. It’s one thing if it’s a Fund Raising Concert for disaster relief ~ and quite another if you just want to Rock Out for the night.

14. jannatwrites - June 27, 2013

Another hysterical post tonight! I could hear the Scottish brogue 🙂 He probably thinks he has the power to make someone die with the clap of his hands.

nrhatch - June 28, 2013

An unexpected surprise + the ring of truth = a funny joke. 😆


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