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Holy Coprolite! February 6, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance.
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Mickey-and-Minnie-kissJust in time for Valentine’s . . . fossilized moose (and dinosaur) droppings!

Although those little nuggets dangling from dainty ears may look like gemstones, a paleoscatologist (a scientist who studies prehistoric poop) would know better.

It’s scat!

Scat that stayed intact . . . and didn’t go splat!

Lumpus-MooseAt Mostly Moose and More, you can buy Moose Poop Earrings . . . for the special Valentine in your life.

Don’t know anyone who wants to walk around with fossilized moose droppings dangling from their ear lobes?

Might I suggest a Moose Poop Necklace?  A Keychain?  I’ve got it . . . a Tie Tack which “pinch hits” as a Lapel or Hat Pin!

No?  Not into Meeses Pieces?

How about Dinosaur Droppings?

At Teton Valley Stones, you can purchase pendants festooned with Petrified Dinosaur Coprolite.  Because dinosaurs are in limited supply, pendants made from their 75-100 million year old poop are pricier than those made from Moose Poop.

To ensure that the stone is ACTUAL Dinosaur Coprolite (and not just a piece of shit), buy from reputable dealers and suppliers.

Wikipedia ~ Lapidary (in Public Domain)

Or check with an experienced lapidary.

“Ah, yes.  This is good shit!”

Fossilized Moose Poop resembles Milk Duds in shape and color, but not aroma.

Dinosaur Droppings, which start out the size and shape of small melons, far too large to be worn as jewelry by any but the most ostentatious, are cut and shaped like any precious stone.

So, yes . . . you CAN get a heart-shaped poop pendant for your Valentine.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Comments

1. Andra Watkins - February 6, 2013

I don’t think MTM would see the humor in such a gift………. 🙂

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Perhaps he would prefer Elephant Poop Paper? Or Civet Coffee made from excreted coffee beans?

http://sierraclub.typepad.com/greenlife/2013/01/4-unexpected-products-made-from-poop.html

Andra Watkins - February 6, 2013

Haha. 🙂

2. shreejacob - February 6, 2013

Erm…nah..I feel it fossilized poop should remain….fossilized in the ground..
hehe!

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Like you, I won’t be ordering a Coprolite pendant or earrings. Not my thang. 😉

3. Zen and Genki - February 6, 2013

Now THAT is a unique gift!! Love it 🙂

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I would be far happier to receive one of the gifts you highlighted on your post, Anne.

http://zenandgenki.com/2013/02/06/7-valentines-day-goodies-for-your-favourite-bibliophile/

Zen and Genki - February 6, 2013

That’s sweet…but I bet yours would be a far greater conversation starter! 😉

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I expect you may be right about that, Anne. 😉

4. katecrimmins - February 6, 2013

You have ruined milk duds fo me!

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Sorry about that, Kate ~ I can see you eyeing your next Milk Dud with suspicion . . . before reaching into the Candy Bowl for something else. 😀

5. colonialist - February 6, 2013

I like the quirky post, but I can’t say I like the subject. Poop is poop, whether fossilised and left to mature for lots of millions of years or not. It doesn’t class as a precious stone, in my book. 🙂

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

This is definitely a NICHE product . . . not a NICE one. 😆

colonialist - February 6, 2013

It makes you get the H… in with it!

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Here’s to “party poopers” who enjoy potty humor. :mrgreen:

6. theonlycin - February 6, 2013

No thanks, I’ll stick to my fake diamonds 🙂

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I expect that you’d enjoy Anne’s Valentine Gifts far more . . . including her “Got Books” bracelet.

http://zenandgenki.com/2013/02/06/7-valentines-day-goodies-for-your-favourite-bibliophile/

7. sweetdaysundertheoaks - February 6, 2013

Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Just give a box of See’s chocolates please!

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I’m with you, Pix . . . I’d rather receive cookies studded with chocolate chips than studs formed from “moose chips.” 😀

8. ryoko861 - February 6, 2013

Have you ever had Lancaster County Road Apples…….?

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I haven’t. Are they related to Rocky Mountain Oysters? 😀

9. kateshrewsday - February 6, 2013

As always, a class divide rears its head, Nancy: moose poop or dinosaur poop? Now i know how Fred Flintstone felt…

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Decisions . . . decisions . . . 😀

10. Pocket Perspectives - February 6, 2013

For those passive-aggressive types of gift givers????

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

That thought crossed my mind too! Can you say, “Re-Gift”?

11. Crowing Crone Joss - February 6, 2013

this must be in response to the eternal question “what to give the person who has everything”. oh my.

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I agree . . . rather like scraping the bottom of the sole of your shoe to see what “treasures” you unearth. 😆

Crowing Crone Joss - February 6, 2013

heh heh heh.

12. Tom (Aquatom1968) - February 6, 2013

I usually buy cr… rubbish gifts, Nancy, but I couldn’t bring myself to by this sh… not that I do Valentine’s, you understand! 😉

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Gotcha. I understand . . . completely! 😀

13. diannegray - February 6, 2013

How romantic! 😉

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Who needs diamonds, right? 😉

diannegray - February 6, 2013

I wonder how it would go on a nose piercing (ewwww) 😉

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Nothing like stashing a bit of offal contiguous to our olfactory senses. Nasty! 😯

14. Grannymar - February 6, 2013

I’d need to find a Valentine first! 😦

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

No Valentine means you get to eat all the chocolate yourself. 😉

Grannymar - February 7, 2013

There is always a good side to life! 😉

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Yes! The more we look for the bright side, the brighter it gets.

Eventually, the future’s so bright, we have to wear shades. 😎

15. ericjbaker - February 6, 2013

I would have kept my 63-horsepower, 1984 Chevy Chevette if I’d known people made jewelry from pieces of shit.

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

Haha! Now you know . . . one man’s trash (or worse!) is another man’s treasure. 😀

ericjbaker - February 6, 2013

Anybody who thinks a Chevette is treasure has serious problems.

At least I can tell people I used to drive a ‘vette.

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Exactly! 😉

In the right hands, a ‘vette’s parts, recycled, might become treasure: turning the rear end into a unique sofa, using the engine block as a base for a coffee table, transforming the steering wheel into a doorknob to your secret writer’s room . . .

16. jannatwrites - February 6, 2013

That’s just gross. (I could see my sons thinking that is the coolest gift ever!) I don’t care if it’s fossilized…it’s still a bunch of crap 🙂

nrhatch - February 6, 2013

I’m with you . . . I’d much rather get C~H~O~C~O~L~A~T~E. 😀

I promise NOT to share this post with your sons.

17. SidevieW - February 6, 2013

Its a very green concept. Recycling at the extreme

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Perhaps. As long as the mining of the crapolite . . . oops, coprolite . . . is easy on the environment. :mrgreen:

SidevieW - February 7, 2013

😉

18. Three Well Beings - February 7, 2013

This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Alas, I don’t have much jewelry so perhaps I should wait until I own a few more examples of fine jewelry before I delve into this niche grouping! 🙂

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Some of the “stones” are quite stunning . . . but I don’t think I could get past what they were before they were passed. 😉

19. sufilight - February 7, 2013

LOL! There is always something new to learn; I have never heard of poop accessories. I will ‘admire’ these valuables from a distance 😀

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

The moose poop pendants are rather brown and blob-like . . . but the dinosaur droppings are eye-catching.

A: “Oh, I love your earrings! Where did you get them?”
B: “T-Rex.”
A: “T-Rex? Is that a new store in the valley?”
B: “Um, no. T-Rex is an extinct dinosaur, a carnivore, a meat eater that roamed the earth 75-100 million years ago.”
A: “I’m sorry. I don’t quite follow.”
B: “These earrings are his droppings . . . fossilized, of course.”
A: “Of course. Oh, look, there’s Mary . . . gotta go! Oops, sorry, no pun intended.”

20. Perfecting Motherhood - February 7, 2013

I bet my youngest would LOVE the dinosaur fossilized poop! Now, if they would shape it like a T-Rex, that would be even better.

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Yes, I think they should be marketing it for kids, not adults. I wonder how many shoppers buy coprolite jewelry thinking it’s an unusual gemstone . . . when it’s really just rock hard poop? 😀

Perfecting Motherhood - February 7, 2013

At the zoo, they sell stationary made out of elephant poop. After all, it’s plants, so it makes sense and it saves the animals. 😉

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

And the trees. 😀

21. adeeyoyo - February 7, 2013

What next? I have heard people make jewellery from gall stones…

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

How galling! :mrgreen:

22. Shari Rood - February 7, 2013

Wow, people will try to sell anything.

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

Yup. And some people will buy anything. Silly rabbits. Next up, writing journals made of recycled Elephant Dung . . . Elephant PooPoo Paper. 😀

23. William D'Andrea - February 7, 2013

I have a strong temptation to scold you, yell, shake my finger at you, and send you to your room; but would that do any good?

nrhatch - February 7, 2013

What? Did I do something wrong? :mrgreen:

William D'Andrea - February 8, 2013

I hope you understand that I was joking. That’s a problem with writing jokes. You can’t hear the vocal tones, and there is no laugh track.

nrhatch - February 8, 2013

I agree. Script writers have a much easier time of it than novelists who must rely on a single reader’s sense of humor.

24. Barbara Backer-Gray - February 8, 2013

I would totally wear fossilized moose or dinosaur poop earrings! But then again, I wear some weird earrings. Or I used to, before I got too fat to have short hair. When the earrings were visible…

nrhatch - February 8, 2013

Go for it! The stones are quite interesting . . . I’d never guess “fossilized feces” if asked their secret identity. :mrgreen:

25. Tori Nelson - February 8, 2013

This almost ruined Milk Duds for me. Almost 🙂

nrhatch - February 8, 2013

Milk Duds are my kind of nugget! 😀

26. dearrosie - February 8, 2013

Money in poop eh? I guess that means that some folks will begin to save their own poopie-poos.

27. bluebee - February 10, 2013

I say poop to that 😆

nrhatch - February 10, 2013

Well put, BB! For Valentine’s Day . . . Make mine Chocolate! 😀


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