Holy Coprolite! February 6, 2013
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Life Balance.trackback
Just in time for Valentine’s . . . fossilized moose (and dinosaur) droppings!
Although those little nuggets dangling from dainty ears may look like gemstones, a paleoscatologist (a scientist who studies prehistoric poop) would know better.
It’s scat!
Scat that stayed intact . . . and didn’t go splat!
At Mostly Moose and More, you can buy Moose Poop Earrings . . . for the special Valentine in your life.
Don’t know anyone who wants to walk around with fossilized moose droppings dangling from their ear lobes?
Might I suggest a Moose Poop Necklace? A Keychain? I’ve got it . . . a Tie Tack which “pinch hits” as a Lapel or Hat Pin!
No? Not into Meeses Pieces?
How about Dinosaur Droppings?
At Teton Valley Stones, you can purchase pendants festooned with Petrified Dinosaur Coprolite. Because dinosaurs are in limited supply, pendants made from their 75-100 million year old poop are pricier than those made from Moose Poop.
To ensure that the stone is ACTUAL Dinosaur Coprolite (and not just a piece of shit), buy from reputable dealers and suppliers.
Wikipedia ~ Lapidary (in Public Domain)
Or check with an experienced lapidary.
“Ah, yes. This is good shit!”
Fossilized Moose Poop resembles Milk Duds in shape and color, but not aroma.
Dinosaur Droppings, which start out the size and shape of small melons, far too large to be worn as jewelry by any but the most ostentatious, are cut and shaped like any precious stone.
So, yes . . . you CAN get a heart-shaped poop pendant for your Valentine.
Aah . . . that’s better!
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Spirit Lights The Way 
I don’t think MTM would see the humor in such a gift………. 🙂
Perhaps he would prefer Elephant Poop Paper? Or Civet Coffee made from excreted coffee beans?
http://sierraclub.typepad.com/greenlife/2013/01/4-unexpected-products-made-from-poop.html
Haha. 🙂
Erm…nah..I feel it fossilized poop should remain….fossilized in the ground..
hehe!
Like you, I won’t be ordering a Coprolite pendant or earrings. Not my thang. 😉
Now THAT is a unique gift!! Love it 🙂
I would be far happier to receive one of the gifts you highlighted on your post, Anne.
http://zenandgenki.com/2013/02/06/7-valentines-day-goodies-for-your-favourite-bibliophile/
That’s sweet…but I bet yours would be a far greater conversation starter! 😉
I expect you may be right about that, Anne. 😉
You have ruined milk duds fo me!
Sorry about that, Kate ~ I can see you eyeing your next Milk Dud with suspicion . . . before reaching into the Candy Bowl for something else. 😀
I like the quirky post, but I can’t say I like the subject. Poop is poop, whether fossilised and left to mature for lots of millions of years or not. It doesn’t class as a precious stone, in my book. 🙂
This is definitely a NICHE product . . . not a NICE one. 😆
It makes you get the H… in with it!
Here’s to “party poopers” who enjoy potty humor.
No thanks, I’ll stick to my fake diamonds 🙂
I expect that you’d enjoy Anne’s Valentine Gifts far more . . . including her “Got Books” bracelet.
http://zenandgenki.com/2013/02/06/7-valentines-day-goodies-for-your-favourite-bibliophile/
Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Just give a box of See’s chocolates please!
I’m with you, Pix . . . I’d rather receive cookies studded with chocolate chips than studs formed from “moose chips.” 😀
Have you ever had Lancaster County Road Apples…….?
I haven’t. Are they related to Rocky Mountain Oysters? 😀
As always, a class divide rears its head, Nancy: moose poop or dinosaur poop? Now i know how Fred Flintstone felt…
Decisions . . . decisions . . . 😀
For those passive-aggressive types of gift givers????
That thought crossed my mind too! Can you say, “Re-Gift”?
this must be in response to the eternal question “what to give the person who has everything”. oh my.
I agree . . . rather like scraping the bottom of the sole of your shoe to see what “treasures” you unearth. 😆
heh heh heh.
I usually buy cr… rubbish gifts, Nancy, but I couldn’t bring myself to by this sh… not that I do Valentine’s, you understand! 😉
Gotcha. I understand . . . completely! 😀
How romantic! 😉
Who needs diamonds, right? 😉
I wonder how it would go on a nose piercing (ewwww) 😉
Nothing like stashing a bit of offal contiguous to our olfactory senses. Nasty! 😯
I’d need to find a Valentine first! 😦
No Valentine means you get to eat all the chocolate yourself. 😉
There is always a good side to life! 😉
Yes! The more we look for the bright side, the brighter it gets.
Eventually, the future’s so bright, we have to wear shades. 😎
I would have kept my 63-horsepower, 1984 Chevy Chevette if I’d known people made jewelry from pieces of shit.
Haha! Now you know . . . one man’s trash (or worse!) is another man’s treasure. 😀
Anybody who thinks a Chevette is treasure has serious problems.
At least I can tell people I used to drive a ‘vette.
Exactly! 😉
In the right hands, a ‘vette’s parts, recycled, might become treasure: turning the rear end into a unique sofa, using the engine block as a base for a coffee table, transforming the steering wheel into a doorknob to your secret writer’s room . . .
That’s just gross. (I could see my sons thinking that is the coolest gift ever!) I don’t care if it’s fossilized…it’s still a bunch of crap 🙂
I’m with you . . . I’d much rather get C~H~O~C~O~L~A~T~E. 😀
I promise NOT to share this post with your sons.
Its a very green concept. Recycling at the extreme
Perhaps. As long as the mining of the crapolite . . . oops, coprolite . . . is easy on the environment.
😉
This is the perfect gift for the person who has everything. Alas, I don’t have much jewelry so perhaps I should wait until I own a few more examples of fine jewelry before I delve into this niche grouping! 🙂
Some of the “stones” are quite stunning . . . but I don’t think I could get past what they were before they were passed. 😉
LOL! There is always something new to learn; I have never heard of poop accessories. I will ‘admire’ these valuables from a distance 😀
The moose poop pendants are rather brown and blob-like . . . but the dinosaur droppings are eye-catching.
A: “Oh, I love your earrings! Where did you get them?”
B: “T-Rex.”
A: “T-Rex? Is that a new store in the valley?”
B: “Um, no. T-Rex is an extinct dinosaur, a carnivore, a meat eater that roamed the earth 75-100 million years ago.”
A: “I’m sorry. I don’t quite follow.”
B: “These earrings are his droppings . . . fossilized, of course.”
A: “Of course. Oh, look, there’s Mary . . . gotta go! Oops, sorry, no pun intended.”
I bet my youngest would LOVE the dinosaur fossilized poop! Now, if they would shape it like a T-Rex, that would be even better.
Yes, I think they should be marketing it for kids, not adults. I wonder how many shoppers buy coprolite jewelry thinking it’s an unusual gemstone . . . when it’s really just rock hard poop? 😀
At the zoo, they sell stationary made out of elephant poop. After all, it’s plants, so it makes sense and it saves the animals. 😉
And the trees. 😀
What next? I have heard people make jewellery from gall stones…
How galling!
Wow, people will try to sell anything.
Yup. And some people will buy anything. Silly rabbits. Next up, writing journals made of recycled Elephant Dung . . . Elephant PooPoo Paper. 😀
I have a strong temptation to scold you, yell, shake my finger at you, and send you to your room; but would that do any good?
What? Did I do something wrong?
I hope you understand that I was joking. That’s a problem with writing jokes. You can’t hear the vocal tones, and there is no laugh track.
I agree. Script writers have a much easier time of it than novelists who must rely on a single reader’s sense of humor.
I would totally wear fossilized moose or dinosaur poop earrings! But then again, I wear some weird earrings. Or I used to, before I got too fat to have short hair. When the earrings were visible…
Go for it! The stones are quite interesting . . . I’d never guess “fossilized feces” if asked their secret identity.
This almost ruined Milk Duds for me. Almost 🙂
Milk Duds are my kind of nugget! 😀
Money in poop eh? I guess that means that some folks will begin to save their own poopie-poos.
I say poop to that 😆
Well put, BB! For Valentine’s Day . . . Make mine Chocolate! 😀