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Remember to Spit Out the Seeds! January 28, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor, Life Balance.

Scruffy-CatEgo concerns like fear, anger, guilt, and resentment get in the way of our happiness:

* We hang on to things for days that we could (and should) brush off in minutes, robbing ourselves of peace of mind and creating unnecessary suffering.

* We perpetuate pain, and keep it alive, by replaying our hurts over and over again.

* We overreact to minor annoyances, and share them with others, fueling negative mental states (anger, jealousy, rage, envy, greed, hatred).

* We walk around in a state of perpetual disappointment because others are not who and how we want them to be.

Instead of challenging our thought patterns and changing them, we attempt to change others ~ expecting THEM to meet OUR expectations.   When they don’t  comply, we grow discouraged, disheartened, and disappointed . . . drowning in self-created despair and dismay.

The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves. ~ Sophocles

Whenever we choose to hang on to the past, rather than letting it go, we are robbing ourselves of  the joy, peace, and happiness we could be feeling right here, right now.

The tragedy of life is not so much what we suffer, but rather what we miss. ~ Thomas Carlyle

Hardship is inevitable . . . misery is optional.

When life hands you lemons, remember to spit out the seeds . . . at the first opportunity!

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. Carl D'Agostino - January 28, 2013

This spitting out the seeds matter – it’s kinda hard with bananas.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

That’s why you never see a “Banana Seed Spitting Contest.” It’s always watermelon that gets top billing. :mrgreen:

colonialist - January 28, 2013

Our monkeys do a pretty good job with banana skin spitting!

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

I bet they do! Your monkeys are adorable! 😀

2. sweetdaysundertheoaks - January 28, 2013

Oh my gosh Nancy, I am going to mark that video to my favorites so I can listen to it every morning and make myself see how ridiculous I sometimes think! I am marking this post to favorites.. 🙂

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Yay! That video has been one of my favorites for years. Her smile when she says, “always assume malicious intent” makes me burst out laughing.

I’ve met every person she’s describing. Sometimes in the mirror. 😀

sweetdaysundertheoaks - January 28, 2013

Sometimes in the mirror… 😆

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

When we have conquered the enemy within . . . there are no enemies left to conquer. :mrgreen:

3. suzicate - January 28, 2013

Had to laugh at Carl’s comment!

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

When you get a chance, watch the video. It’s stellar.

4. ryoko861 - January 28, 2013

It’s just human nature. Some of us are better at letting go, others, depending on how bad the hurt or anger is, have a harder time. Especially if there’s someone who has been causing the pain and continues to. That’s kind of hard to just shrug off. Past relationships can also cause continuing stress and pain. Matters of the heart take alot of time.
Now if the idiot who japped you in traffic, cuss them out THEN move on. Things like that aren’t worth harping on.
Love Carl’s comment!

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

It IS difficult to let go . . . but it’s worth it.
After all, our freedom is at stake.

Like playing the piano, it gets easier with practice. We learn to stand back far enough that we see with clarity and realize that no one can make us hang on to hurt or anger without our consent.

5. Tori Nelson - January 28, 2013

Well, this post was good for my soul, lady. Thank you. I have a way of holding onto grudges, letting things simmer and stew WAY past when is healthy. Letting go of the funk is a glorious feeling 🙂

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

The more mindful we become to the thoughts that we think, the more we realize that WE were the one pushing our buttons all along.

We are jailer and jailed ~ we hold the key to our own prison cell.

6. aawwa - January 28, 2013

Thanks Nancy. So relevant to some issues I am working on at present 🙂

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Good. Glad you found it relevant, Lorraine. The first time I stepped back far enough to see things with clarity . . . I was amazed to see that it wasn’t THEM causing me pain, it was ME!

Quite the eye opener. 😯

7. Don - January 28, 2013

Thanks Nancy. The metaphor of spitting out the seeds is such a good one. Liked the banana thing. May not be seeds in a banana, but you’ve got to let go of the peels.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Did you ever hear the one about the dog lying on a rusty nail? He was bothered enough to moan and whine about it . . . but not enough to actually get up and change positions. 😀

That’s it really. We claim that it’s just “human nature” to hang on to stale grievances, but it’s really just a “bad habit.”

8. thefolia - January 28, 2013

May we all have the courage to let go.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Like anything else worth learning, it takes lots of practice . . . but it is so worth it.

9. deanabo - January 28, 2013

There’s so much truth in this. Well done.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Thanks, Deana. I view this post as a short intro to the MISERY video ~ a video well worth watching. It ridicules our ridiculous tendencies in such a FUN way that the images stay with us.

Why be “just human” when we can be “fatally flawed” instead. :mrgreen:

deanabo - January 28, 2013

my thoughts exactly!

10. cecilia - January 28, 2013

This is SO SO SO SO true. I often say to myself, Is this my Monkey? Do I have to carry this person’s problem about with me? I am a worrier so I do have to be careful to spit out the pips (seeds) ! I will remember that line! Thank you.. c

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

That’s a great visual, Cecelia . . . “Is this my monkey?”

We are so used to looking at life in an habitual way (with our minds on “auto pilot”) that we forget we can CHANGE our thoughts and CHANGE our life anytime . . . just by reclaiming the remote. When we master our thoughts, we master our life.

Now . . . let’s give that monkey a banana! 😀

11. Sandra Bell Kirchman - January 28, 2013

Couldn’t click “Like” (which I do). Pure genius. I have done all of them at one time or another. Wish I could have seen this video then and realized how ridiculous I was being.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Yes! Me too! She is so charming as she points out the error of our ways . . . enabling us to laugh at ourselves instead of defending our habitual patterns of thinking. 😀

Sorry the “like” button isn’t working for you. I had that problem on a few blogs when using Internet Explorer. Using Google Chrome and Firefox solved the issue for me.

Sandra Bell Kirchman - January 28, 2013

Oh, that clears up the mystery. I won’t switch though, because of the limitations those two browsers have. Well, I might temporarily (I have both loaded) if I really want to “like” something. I think a good comment might suffice, though.

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Comments work for me. 😀

The “like” button is great when I want to feature a post on the “Worth A Fly By” Widget.

12. Crowing Crone Joss - January 28, 2013

“The greatest griefs are those we cause ourselves” oh, I am so good at this!

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Anytime we find ourselves “stewing in our own juices,” we need to take a giant step back and realize that THEY are no longer doing anything to US . . . WE are doing it to ourselves. 😀

13. diannegray - January 28, 2013

Great post, Nancy! I feel like holding on to past hurts is like getting cancer of the memories and before you know it, all you know is hurt and pain. Forget bad things, look to the future and move forward 😉 I love ‘spitting out the seeds’ – what a great analogy! and I had a giggle at Carl’s comment about the bananas 😀

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Yes! It’s one thing to mull things around to see if there is something to be done worth doing. But when we hang on to stale grievances, we are robbing ourselves to spite “them.”

BTW: The more I read your posts and comments . . . the more I want to stand on the veranda of the RUC and enjoy a chat. 😀

diannegray - January 28, 2013

Me too, Nancy! I wish they would hurry and get it on the block 😉 I think it should be there in about two weeks (I think I said that about two weeks ago) because the engineer is putting his plans into the council today 😀

The inclement weather has cleared and everything should be good for the move if no more rain comes our way.

I can’t wait to get there and start taking pics 😀

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

How exciting . . . maybe it’ll be there for Valentine’s Day! So much more interesting than a dozen roses.

14. colonialist - January 28, 2013

All in the mind, indeed, and mind can be over matter, especially as when you don’t mind it doesn’t matter. 🙂

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

I haven’t heard that in ages . . . and I love it! Thanks, Col.

That’s just it. When we are UPSET, the things we are upset about loom large. But if we CHOOSE not to be upset, they fade away in short order leaving “peace of mind” behind.

15. sufilight - January 28, 2013

This is awesome, Nancy. I love the way you share spiritual and psychological insights in such a way that it’s entertaining and at the same very insightful. I have to share this!

nrhatch - January 28, 2013

Thanks, Marie. That’s wonderful to hear since that’s why I started SLTW in the first place. Yay! 😀

16. jannatwrites - January 29, 2013

Great observations. It is lighter to walk around without the hurt feelings and grudges. Sometimes I have to carry them around for a while before I let it go, but I eventually get there 🙂

nrhatch - January 29, 2013

If we pile our “wheelbarrow of woe” with ALL the grievances, grudges, and grumps that enter our thoughts . . . oh, what a weighty load to trudge about. Drudges trudge with grudges. :mrgreen:

17. kateshrewsday - January 29, 2013

So true. It rang true for me right now: the rest of the world seems all wrong, and I know my thought patterns need to change so I can see things more clearly. I shall need to read this a few times to think about it. Thanks, Nancy.

nrhatch - January 29, 2013

Thanks, Kate. When we pay attention to the thoughts we think, the quality of our thoughts often improves in the same way our writing improves when we “edit” it.

Whenever we find ourselves stopping at the “water cooler” to share a minor annoyance or negative story with others, we can ask ourselves, “Why do THEY need to know this?”

If they don’t, we can find something more positive to share.

18. Perfecting Motherhood - February 2, 2013

Haha, I love that video and I can think of a few people that follow every step of it!

#6 would be to blame other people for everything and anything bad that happens to you.

nrhatch - February 2, 2013

Yes! NEVER accept your role in anything . . . if we look harder enough there is ALWAYS someone else to blame. :mrgreen:

19. Practicing Thought Poses | Spirit Lights The Way - December 8, 2013

[…] posts:  Happy Dance . . . or Häagen-Dazs? * Remember to Spit Out the Seeds * Aah . . . That’s […]

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