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No Pun In Ten Did January 22, 2013

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.

Dory-&-Marlin1.  A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”

2.  Two fish swim directly into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says . . . “Dam!”

3.  Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.  It sank.  They didn’t realize you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

4.  A thief got stuck in wet cement . . . he became a hardened criminal.

5.  A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France results in Linoleum Blown Apart.

Mickey-OK6.  What do you call a short fortune teller who escapes from prison?  A small medium at large.

7.  What happened to the dead batteries?  They were given away free of charge.

8.  What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?  He was repossessed.

9.  You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

10.  Roger sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh . . . no pun in ten did.

Okay . . . let’s help Roger out.  What’s your favorite pun?

Related posts:  All In A Day’s Work * Live Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay (Much) * That’s Gonna Leave A Mark

Source:  e-mail with old and new-to-me groaners (sent by Joe M.)


1. granny1947 - January 22, 2013

Love puns…thank for the smile.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Me too . . . clever puns remind us how FUN words can be.

2. Tori Nelson - January 22, 2013

Awesome. Made me laugh the whole way through 🙂

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Yay! Fun with puns . . . cuz puns is fun. :mrgreen:

3. Sandra Bell Kirchman - January 22, 2013

A real chuckle-fest. My favorite one was about the Eskimos in the kayak. For some reason, I could visualize the whole thing, including the surprised expression on their faces when their craft sank. lol

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

I thought that one was quite clever . . . glad you enjoyed a chuckle or two.

4. Hudson Howl - January 22, 2013

My favorite puns are by George Carlin, so I probably should not repeat them here.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Thank you for your restraint! George Carlin’s observations on life are so wise. My favorite routine of his is about his STUFF!

5. ericjbaker - January 22, 2013

I think half my Anvil stories were built around puns.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Yes . . . very punny! 😆

6. Food,Photography & France - January 22, 2013

“There’s nothing funny here, Roger!”. I repeatedly heard that line from my teachers throughout my school days.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Teachers can be redundant and repetitive, eh? 😉

7. Grannymar - January 22, 2013

I’m thinking. If I sit up all night it will dawn on me!

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Good one! Thanks, Grannymar.

8. seeker - January 22, 2013

Trust you, Nancy, only you can give away puns and get away with it. Love them all! 😀

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

It’s my attitude of latitude that allows me to get away with give away puns. Thanks, Seeker!

9. katecrimmins - January 22, 2013

Took me a while to get #5 but I did!

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

That one doesn’t jump out at you . . . unless you majored in French. 😀

10. sweetdaysundertheoaks - January 22, 2013

#9.. 🙂

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

I know a lot of people can’t budge it. 😀

11. sanstorm - January 22, 2013

It’s been a very punny week, with the Tesco horsemeat-in-100%beefburgers scandal.
Has this been going on furlong?
I check my burgers. Aaaaaand they’re off!
And now there’s uniquorn in the veggie burgers…..

Thanks for these puns.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

It’s hard to keep track of what we eat . . . 😉

sanstorm - January 24, 2013


12. diannegray - January 22, 2013

This is very funny, Nancy! I liked 6 and 10 the most.

I’m currently reading a book about anti-gravity – it’s impossible to put down 😀

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Awesome addition, Dianne! And #10 is my favorite too . . . hence the title of the post. 😀

13. kateshrewsday - January 22, 2013

I must share some of these with Maddie and Felix. They would love them!

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

I hope they enjoy these punny puns. 😀

14. Maggie - January 22, 2013

I love these. I literally laughed out loud. 🙂

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

Yay! Word play can be quite punny. 😀

15. aawwa - January 22, 2013

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess shakes her head and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.” This one is my favourite – I haven’t heard of it before and it has great imagery.

nrhatch - January 22, 2013

That one made me grin ~ I heard the stewardess admonish the greedy vulture in quiet modulated tones.

16. sarsm - January 24, 2013

Thanks for that – you made my day.

nrhatch - January 24, 2013

Yay! Puns are a perennial pleaser. 😀

17. 2e0mca - January 24, 2013

Great laugh Nancy 🙂 Not quite puns but…

Someone shot a hole in Bridgette Bardot’s bathroom window – Inspector Maigret is looking into it.

What do you call a man wearing 7 balaclava helmets? Anything you like – he can’t hear you!

nrhatch - January 24, 2013

Good ones, Martin. Word play is great fun for lexophiles. 😀

18. jannatwrites - January 24, 2013

These were all good, but I really liked the first two. Too funny!

nrhatch - January 24, 2013

The carrion one is drop dead punny. 😉

19. Perfecting Motherhood - January 25, 2013

I love the vulture joke, it made me spill my tea.
My son shared a cute joke the other day:
Why did the eel cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

nrhatch - January 25, 2013

That’s great ~ 9 out of 10 eels have lisps (but no limbs)! :mrgreen:

20. sufilight - January 25, 2013

Thanks for the chuckles, this one made me chuckle louder. 😀

“What do you call a short fortune teller who escapes from prison? A small medium at large.”

nrhatch - January 25, 2013

I can see her now . . . hiding her prison garb in gauzy bandannas and other colorful paraphernalia. 😀

21. Now That’s Punny! | Spirit Lights The Way - January 18, 2014

[…] puns:  All In A Day’s Work * No Pun In Ten Did *  Live Laugh and Learn * Virtual Reality * (Duck) Soup to Nuts * Crime Doesn’t Pay […]

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