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Good Eats December 10, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Art & Photography, Food & Drink, Humor.
34 comments

I’ve been holding out on you.  I know how much you all like drooling over photos of good food.  And we’ve enjoyed some delicious dishes this fall.

Between one thing and another, I never got around to sharing BFF’s birthday lunch at the Sandbar.

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He ordered Fried Scallops . . . for the last time.  Ever.  Shellfish allergy.  😦

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I enjoyed a Greek Salad with lots of kalamata olives and pepperoncini.  You can’t see the olives . . . because I already ate them. 

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We both enjoyed the fragrant fresh baked bread with B~U~T~T~E~R.

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Shortly after BFF’s birthday, we attended the Grand Opening of a new Art Gallery and a Bakery at the Green Village on Pine Avenue. 

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After inhaling mini cupcakes, we drank champagne and ate C~H~E~E~S~E.

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Last week, we visited the Chart House on Longboat Key for Happy Hour.

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We sat back, relaxed, and enjoyed tasty treats, holiday tunes, and the decor.

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I sipped the Chateau Ste. Michelle Riesling . . . with a S~M~I~L~E.

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In a room with a view.

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Oh, the treats? 

We ordered Bruschetta with fresh tomatoes, garlic, and cheese.

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And Spinach Artichoke Dip with crisp Crostini.

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And a trio of Hummus ~ plain, spicy, and edamame ~ with plantains and pita.

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Cheers!      

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Aah . . . that’s better!

7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children December 10, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.
48 comments

One of my favorite shows growing up was Art Linkletter’s Kids Say the Darndest Things.  They do, you know.  Often when you least expect it.

(1) A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.  The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. 

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

Undeterred, the little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

She replied, “Then you ask him.”

(2) A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. 

After explaining the commandment to honour thy father and thy mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, a little boy answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

(3) One day a little girl was watching her mother do the dishes when she  noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?”

Her mother replied, “Well, every time you do something naughty, one of my hairs turns white.”

The little girl thought about this and then asked, “Mummy, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

(4) The children had all been photographed and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Think how nice it will be when you’re older and can say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

(5) A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the girl was drawing.

The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”

Without missing a beat, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

(6) A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”

“Yes,” the class said.

“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”

A little fellow shouted, “‘Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

(7) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.

At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun had posted a note on the apple tray:

“Take only ONE . God is watching.”

Further along the lunch line, next to a pile of chocolate chip cookies, a child propped up a note:

“Take all you want. God is watching the apples.”

Aah . . . that’s better.

Source:  e-mail from unknown author (sent by Jane Nast)