Ponderous & Ponderable Ponderisms

7 Thoughts on Health & Wellness

(1) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

(2) Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

(3) There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

(4) Life is sexually transmitted.

(5) Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

(6) Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

(7) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7 Thoughts on Home & Garden

(1) When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it a valuable plant.

(2) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

(3) The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

(4) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

(5) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire . . . or a fire in the fireplace?

(6) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

(7) In like vein, who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m going to eat the next thing that comes out of its backside.”‘

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Related post:  Hen Keepers (AgriGirl’s Blog)

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