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Ponderous & Ponderable Ponderisms December 7, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Word Play.

7 Thoughts on Health & Wellness

(1) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

(2) Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive.

(3) There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

(4) Life is sexually transmitted.

(5) Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

(6) Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

(7) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

7 Thoughts on Home & Garden

(1) When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it a valuable plant.

(2) Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

(3) The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

(4) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

(5) How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire . . . or a fire in the fireplace?

(6) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

(7) In like vein, who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I’m going to eat the next thing that comes out of its backside.”‘

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Related post:  Hen Keepers (AgriGirl’s Blog)


1. Tori Nelson - December 7, 2012

“Life is sexually transmitted”…. Hahaha! This belongs on a bumper sticker and a t-shirt, too.

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

You may bump into that bumper sticker someday . . . keep your eyes open. 😯

2. aawwa - December 7, 2012

Very witty as always 🙂

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

I can’t take credit for these ponderisms, aawwa. But reading them is a hoot . . . makes me want to start my OWN list. 😀

3. sweetdaysundertheoaks - December 7, 2012

Friday Funnies! I love em Nancy.. 😀 CH will love #1 in Home and Garden. #7 Hahaha!!! Good Morning. I am excited, we are going to drive to the Big City just to fill up with $2.99 gas. Can you believe it? $2.99!!!! Well, we are going to eat Chinese too.. 🙂

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

Good picks, Pix ~ glad you got a kick out of these. Enjoy the drive, the city, and the Chinese. 😀

4. seeker - December 7, 2012

On health #6, whenever I feel blue, I take a look at your blog, then I’m not so blue. On garden #4, weather is mother nature, we do pay the attention especially the criticism (tornado, typhoon, draught, snow,etc)
Thanks for sharing granny. *-)

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

Yay! Glad that SLTW helps you chase away the blues. 😀

5. Andra Watkins - December 7, 2012

I’ll remember to start breathing again the next time I feel blue. Great one. 🙂

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

Breathe. Relax. Repeat . . . and S~M~I~L~E like the SUN! 😎

6. Karen J - December 7, 2012

(rolling on (the) floor, laughing) Plus, it tickles to say it: “roffle”

Thanks for the Friday morning giggles, my dear!

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

You’re welcome! Hope your day overflows with giggles! 😀

7. Collected Wisdom for Friday 12-7-12 « Curves 'n Angles - December 7, 2012

[…] And a Friday Funny from Nancy Hatch at Spirit Lights the Way: https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2012/12/07/ponderable-ponderisms/ […]

nrhatch - December 7, 2012

Whee! Thanks, Karen.

8. jannatwrites - December 8, 2012

I thought I was too tired to laugh, but I was wrong. Thanks 🙂

nrhatch - December 8, 2012

Yay! I love it when I.Am.So.Not.In.The.Mood.To.Laugh . . . and a laugh sneaks up on me anyway.

9. Three Well Beings - December 8, 2012

Love the one about the cow! Ha!

nrhatch - December 8, 2012

Moo! 😆

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