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Grief Stricken December 4, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, People, Word Play, Writing & Writers.

Colette (Wikipedia, in Public Domain)

It’s so curious:

one can resist tears and ‘behave’ very well in the hardest hours of grief. 

But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window,

or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed,

or a letter slips from a drawer . . .

and everything collapses.

~ Colette

Unexpected thaws cause grief-hardened hearts to defrost . . .  ice crystals pooling into puddles.

Related post:  The White Dress (Judith)


1. judithhb - December 4, 2012

That’s such a great quote from Colette Nancy. And thanks for the pingback.

nrhatch - December 4, 2012

I fell in love with that quote right away. I’ve enjoyed many of Colette’s musings on life . . . but that one, this year, really hit home. Thanks, Judith.

2. gita4elamats - December 4, 2012
nrhatch - December 4, 2012

Thanks, Gita. Glad it resonated.

3. sufilight - December 4, 2012

I have seen this quote before and I could relate to the words then and still do. Thank for the share.

nrhatch - December 4, 2012

Colette’s words struck a chord with me, mirroring observations I’ve had this year.

4. viviankirkfield - December 4, 2012

Thank you, Nancy…you are so right! When my husband suffered his first heart attack over 30 years ago, I kept a strong stance…our three children were little ones and needed me to keep things going smoothly. But when a friend or neighbor would do a kindness like bring over a casserole or offer to watch the kids so I could visit Stuart in the hospital, I would get all choked up and the floodgates would threaten to burst. 🙂

nrhatch - December 4, 2012

Yes! That’s exactly what I’ve noticed this year. Kind gestures let loose the tears, causing the walls to crumble (or collapse).

I’m so glad that Stuart is still with you . . . after suffering a heart attack at such a young age.

viviankirkfield - December 5, 2012

Yes, I, too, am glad. 😉 He has been amazingly resilient…although after 4 MI’s and other health issues, he is not able to do many of the activities he once loved, like hiking and fly-fishing.

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Perhaps he’ll still be able to share his love of the outdoors with your grandkids . . . even if he has to take it a bit easier.

5. Tammy - December 4, 2012

So true!

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Sometimes all it takes is a flower . . . that transformation of bud to blossom exclaims, “How fast the years fly!”

6. Three Well Beings - December 4, 2012

I have yet to experience this with a primary relationship, but I never leave home without a pocket full of Kleenex. It’s those unexpected-didn’t-see-that-coming triggers and I’m mopping a friend’s tears. I need to share this poem with a few very special people. oxo

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Kleenex . . . never leave home without them. 😉

For me, the overarching theme is time’s passage ~ children, once so small, are now “almost adult,” siblings are middle-aged, and parents are fading fast or gone. Friends have come and gone. Pets too. Life is constant change . . . and the “REWIND” button is nowhere in sight.

Three Well Beings - December 5, 2012

So true, Nancy. I feel it…and this has been the year that my dear husband has had so many losses in his long-held friendships. It is so good to remain mindful of time! oxo

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Although we have to let go of the past to make room for the present (and the future), that is often easier said than done.

7. Naomi Estment (@naomiestment) - December 5, 2012

Profound, beautiful message about the fundamental fabric of life – thank you for sharing, Nancy 🙂 XO

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Thanks, Naomi. Hope all is well with you and Dave . . . as we enter this season of merry making.

8. colonialist - December 5, 2012

So true that the trigger can be something utterly unexpected.
I was just wondering where on earth the exclamation, ‘good grief’ came from. Grief is not a good feeling.

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Good question, Col. “Good Grief!” seems a rather oxymoronic statement. If you solve the riddle, spill.

colonialist - December 5, 2012

I imagine it originated, like ‘golly’ and ‘gosh’ in trying to find a harmless substitute for ‘God’ in an exclamation?

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Good gosh and golly almighty . . . I think you are RIGHT.

9. speccy - December 5, 2012

Last year I found Christmas to be full of those unexpected moments of kindness- wonderful, but I kept being reduced to a gibbering idiot. Hopefully a bit more time passing will cushion a bit 🙂

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Odd, isn’t it? “Time passing” is both the cause of our sorrow . . . and the source of our healing.

Unpacking holiday ornaments this weekend caused any number of puddles to form ~ gifts from my father’s workshop, delicate needlework from my mother, and crafts crafted by tiny hands, now grown.

10. sweetdaysundertheoaks - December 5, 2012

Those little triggers still get to me with regard to my Mom and Country Cat. Heard “Just to See Her” yesterday(Smokey Robinson)and I fell apart. Christmas does that to me, Mom loved Christmas. Nancy thinking about you during this holiday. It’s been a year for you.

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Thanks, Pix. This is a hard journey at times . . . always moving in one direction with no chance to turn around or slow down time’s passage.

What I wouldn’t give for a time travel machine . . . to go back 10 years (or more) and revisit favorite moments in time.

11. dearrosie - December 5, 2012

Oh good gosh, good golly I love this. Is it a poem or just a quote?

nrhatch - December 5, 2012

Thanks, Rosie. It really hit home for me too.

On Judith’s post, the Colette quote was in paragraph format. I spread it out into a more “poetic format” here.

12. pix & kardz - December 6, 2012

very poignant quote. how true it is….

nrhatch - December 6, 2012

It is . . . kindness causes the dam to burst and the waterworks flow. (And then the sun returns and laughter rings forth.)

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