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A Talking Frog & Other Engineering Jokes December 1, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People, Word Play.

My dad, brothers, and sister all have engineering degrees.  I’m the only lawyer in the bunch.  I’m also the only blonde. 

Over the years, I’ve heard my share of lawyer jokes.  And dumb blonde jokes.   Engineering jokes are harder to come by.  

A few weeks ago, Granny sent me an e-mail filled with engineering jokes.  Thanks,  Granny

Here are my 7 favorites:

(1) Two engineering students are walking across a university campus when one says, “Where did you get such a great bike?”

 The second replies, “I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.”

The first nods, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you, anyway.”

(2) To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
 To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

(3) What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. 
Civil engineers build targets. 

(4) A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.  The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys?  We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the groundskeeper.  Let’s have a word with him . . . George, what’s wrong with that group ahead of us?  They’re rather slow, aren’t they?”

“Oh, yes.  That’s a group of blind firemen.  They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we let them play for free anytime.”

The group fell silent for a moment.

The priest said, “That’s sad.  I will say a special prayer for them tonight.”

The doctor said, “Good idea.  I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything he can do for them.”

The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?” 

(5) Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.

“It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”

“No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections.” 

“No, it had to have been a civil engineer.  Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?” 

(6) Normal people believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.  Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet. 
(7) As an engineer crossed the road, a frog called out and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”  The engineer picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me into a princess, I’ll stay with you for a week and do ANYTHING you want.”

The engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket.

Puzzled, the frog asked, “What is the matter?  I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.  Why won’t you kiss me?”

The engineer said, “I’m an engineer.  I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Aah . . . that’s better!



1. Jim Kaszynski "THE IDEA MAN' - December 1, 2012

I like this….brake away from everything and smile….THANKS!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Glad you enjoyed. Maybe you’ll find a talking frog on your walk through France and Spain. That would be cool. 😎

2. sweetdaysundertheoaks - December 1, 2012

Good way to start the morning AND December~laughing here.. 😀

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Yay! I enjoyed these . . . especially the last. 😀

3. Maggie - December 1, 2012

Thanks, Nancy. I loved these!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Quite a collection of “dry wit.” 😆

4. Don - December 1, 2012

Lol – great stuff Nancy.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Glad you enjoyed. Granny’s e-mails are often too funny not to share.

5. seeker57 - December 1, 2012

Hahahaha.. Talking frog is the best, engineers are “queer” bunch. It was my background and this is perfect timing ‘coz I managed to find the batch I was in FB. May I use this and share it the ECE group? That is Electronics and Communications Engineering. Thanks. 8=)

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Absolutely! Jokes are best shared. 😀

6. Jean - December 1, 2012

Thanks for the chuckle this morning!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Nothing like a laugh to get the day off to a good start.

7. ryoko861 - December 1, 2012

My dad was an engineer as is my husband. Yeah, they have a dry wit and think in analytical terms. You have to be brought up around it to get the jokes! These were great!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Thanks, Irene. I agree . . . these were “spot on.”

8. katecrimmins - December 1, 2012

OMG! This is wonderful. I come from a family of engineers and I am a blond human resource person (talk about touchy-feely). I am going to circulate this among my engineer siblings. Thanks Granny!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Yay! Sounds like many of us are surrounded by engineers. I love my brothers’ dry wit. And these jokes captured that to perfection.

9. kateshrewsday - December 1, 2012

These are lovely, Nancy. I, too, come from a family of engineers. They are the best.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

I am delighted to see the vast number of readers/writers surrounded in a sea of engineers. Diversity en familia. 😉

10. Andra Watkins - December 1, 2012

One of my biggest clients ever was an engineer. He said variations of all of these at one time or another. Also, I am surrounded by engineers in Rotary. My VP is one. Treasurer also. Incoming secretary as well.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Engineers are becoming more numerous than lawyers . . . that’s a good thing. 😀

11. Hudson Howl - December 1, 2012

Who knew engineer jokes where even out there. Now I know some, ha!

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

They are much harder to come by than lawyer jokes . . . 😀

Hudson Howl - December 1, 2012

Lawyers are worthy! An everyone has a favorite barrister joke.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Especially the one about the sharks . . . and professional courtesy. 😀

12. Barbara Backer-Gray - December 1, 2012

Those are great! Thanks for the laugh.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Glad you enjoyed, Barbara. Life is better with laughter. 😀

13. ericjbaker - December 1, 2012

My company (mostly staffed by psychologists) shares a building with an engineering firm. Who do you think does most of the talking in the elevator?

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

Engineer: Good morning.
Psychologist: Why do you say that?
Engineer: What?
Psychologist: Good morning.
Enginner: It is, yes.

seeker57 - December 1, 2012

Hilarious. very direct, direct current no AC/DC 😀

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

I can only imagine that the conversations on the elevator must be somewhat “unusual.” 😀

14. jannatwrites - December 1, 2012

These were funny. Love the frog one especially 😆 Too bad I don’t know any engineers – I can’t pass them along to tease them.

nrhatch - December 1, 2012

That’s my favorite. Even I would love to have a talking frog. “Bud~Weis~Er.” 😀

15. Three Well Beings - December 2, 2012

All these good jokes and there are no engineers in my family…but lots of lawyers! LOL!

nrhatch - December 2, 2012

I’ve heard the one on the golf course before . . . with a lawyer taking the place of the engineer. 😉

Three Well Beings - December 2, 2012

That’s true…I can interchange professions on some of the jokes! 🙂

nrhatch - December 3, 2012

Yes, to other professions relying on dispassionate logic and reason. But two are quintessential engineer jokes ~ the building weapons/building targets joke, and the who engineered the body joke.

16. sufilight - December 2, 2012

The talking frog is my most favorite one as my engineer s/o loves frogs. Have passed the jokes on to him. 😀

nrhatch - December 2, 2012

Yay! Hope he enjoys the gentle ribb~it~ing. 😆

17. johnell74 - December 2, 2012

HAHa Ha, Nancy. As a retired engineer, this is really my sense of humour. Thank you.
I was guided to this page by Kate Shrewsday, my daughter.

nrhatch - December 2, 2012

Glad Kate sent you around for a chuckle, John. Life is better with laughter . . . especially after such a challenging year.

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