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How Bright Are You? November 26, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Nature.

This is a quiz for people who know everything!  These are not trick questions.  They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither spectators nor participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backwards?

3. Only 2 vegetables can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ‘ dw’ and they are all common words. Name two of them . . . without using the dictionary.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar.  Can you name at least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter ‘S.’

So, how did you do? 
Did you get them all right?
Not sure?

Answers to Quiz:

1.  Boxing.

2.  Niagara Falls ~ the rim erodes about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.

3.  Asparagus and rhubarb.

4.  Strawberry.

5. The pear grew inside the bottle ~ bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.

6.  Dwarf, dwell and dwindle.

7.  Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, braces, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, ellipses, and parentheses.

8.  Lettuce.

9.  Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

Extra Credit Question:  If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Aah . . . that’s better! 

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Call Me Shallow If You Will November 26, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Nature, People.

170px-Alice_par_John_Tenniel_30At times, I judge a book by its cover.

Especially when “the book” chooses to change its cover with plastic surgery and ends up looking like a comic book character . . . or worse.

The “after” images of Meg Ryan, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, Joan Rivers, and other celebs who worship the fountain of perpetual plastic youth,  resemble creepy clowns wearing too-tight smiles.

Guess the Joker’s on them.

Aah . . . that’s better!