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Misconceptions About Food and Dieting November 24, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, Joke.
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Woodstock-&-Snoopy3Just in time for the Holidays, I am delighted to bring you this interview with my new primary care physician, Dr. Wong Yu Phat.

Dr. Phat offers advice that we can live with . . .

 

Q:  Doctor Yu Phat, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can  prolong life.  Is this true?
A: No, no.  Not at all.  Heart only good for so many beats, and that it ~ don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q:  At this time of year, holiday gatherings and social invites proliferate.  Should we limit alcohol intake at holiday parties?  
A:  No, no, no. Fruit and vegetables good for you.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy distilled wine.  That mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are the advantages of a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy: No  pain . . .good!

Q:   What about fried foods?  Are they bad for us?   
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q  :  Will doing sit-ups every night prevent me from developing a tire around the middle?
A:  Oh no!   When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You  should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger tire belly.

Q:  But isn’t getting in shape important? 
A:  Hey!  Round is shape!

Q:  What about chocolate?  Is chocolate bad for us? 
A:  You crazy?!?   HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food  around!

Q:  My trainer said that swimming is good for my figure.  What do you think? 
A:  NO WAY.  If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Thank you for your candid advice, Dr. Wong Yu Phat!

I hope this interview cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Now, go enjoy the holidays . . . eat, drink, and be merry!  And, whatever you do, don’t exercise.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)

Comments»

1. granny1947 - November 24, 2012

I thought I had seen this before. 🙂

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

You did! And #1 was written just for YOU!
(And me.) 😉

Hope you enjoyed every minute of your time away.

granny1947 - November 24, 2012

I had a GREAT time Nancy…and now back to the real world.

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Loved your first post about your “stay away.” Look forward to hearing more . . . when you’re done napping. 😉

2. Maggie - November 24, 2012

Chocolate is a vegetable! Yes! (Hilarious post.)

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

This seemed a good counter-point to all the articles touting restraint during the holdiays.

“Just . . . Eat It!” :mrgreen:

3. katecrimmins - November 24, 2012

My kind of doctor! Is he taking new patients?

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

He is! And he’s looking for test subjects for a new study on the benefits of bon bons (which he calls “good goods”) ~ FREE chocolate for everyone who signs up! 😀

4. ryoko861 - November 24, 2012

I like his advice! “No pain…GOOD!” That’s how I see it!

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

His advice is a different look at the “less is more” mantra . . . do less, eat more. :mrgreen:

5. JOriginal Muse - November 24, 2012

~ LOL… I know I’ve seen this before, but the older we get, the funnier it gets ~ Although my body wasn’t laughing yesterday, the day after Thanksgiving 😉 What the hell… Just switch doctors after the Holidays 😀

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

That’s a solid A-1 plan, Joanne. Seize the day in two fists now and repent after the New Year arrives.

Assuming it arrives at all after the Aztec calendar ends. 😀

6. seeker57 - November 24, 2012

Do you mind refering me to him? Just saw my doctor yesterday and after that exam i would like to change doctors. Time for swim, see ya later.

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Sometimes changing doctors is the path of least pain. Or so say Yu! Enjoy the swim. 😀

seeker57 - November 24, 2012

Thanks, I have to find the pods of whales I belong to.*=))

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

I think that’s the funniest part of this e-mail . . . the fact that whales swim all day every day without slimming down one whit. Makes me wonder how I could ever whittle my waist with water aerobics. 😉

7. kateshrewsday - November 24, 2012

Ha! I love this, Nancy. Off to follow a little of Dr Yu Phat’s advice – even if for a very little while…

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

I expect that’s the ticket, Kate . . . for a “very little while.” :mrgreen:

8. Julie Hedlund - November 24, 2012

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh!

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

As soon as this landed in my In-Box, I wanted to share it ~ on the eve of the holiday season seemed a perfect time.

9. timkeen40 - November 24, 2012

Archie Bunker likened beer to wheaties in a can and I have it on good authority that all who worked out regularly in 1850 are now dead.

This was hilarious.

Tim

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Exactly! Thanks, Tim. We are going to live forever no matter what we do . . . so we might as well enjoy TODAY. 😀

10. gardenerat60 - November 24, 2012

The best advice of the year! Fun!

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Glad you enjoyed. Dr. Wong Yu Phat has the right idea ~ enjoy today . . . for tomorrow we die~t. 😀

gardenerat60 - November 24, 2012

🙂

11. Tammy - November 24, 2012

Funny!

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

A bit of absurdity to keep our nutritional perspective in check. 😉

12. ericjbaker - November 24, 2012

Haha. Awesome.

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

My current writing goal . . . to create funny e-mails (like this one) and send them hurling through cyber space in perpetuity. 😀

ericjbaker - November 24, 2012

Hmmm. In perpetuity… You must be talking about those containers for digital data (sort of shaped like a Nexium, only smaller). I can’t believe they fit inside internet tubes.

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Ooh . . . can it be purple? A purple perpetually circling cyber tube would be grand. 😉

Karen J - November 24, 2012

Ooh!Ooh!Ooh!
… then we can say “I REALLY DO KNOW the lady who wrote that!” when it comes back to our Inbox, six years from now – How 😎 will THAT be?

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

It does make one wonder who wrote all the anonymous humorous e-mails currently circling the cyber globe in perpetual motion. :mrgreen:

13. Safiyah Naemah - November 24, 2012

Hilarious!

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Glad you enjoyed, Safiyah.

14. Patricia - November 24, 2012

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel so much better about myself now.

nrhatch - November 24, 2012

Isn’t this great exercise and nutrition information for heading into the holidays. Tis the season to be (fat and) jolly . . . 😀

15. barb19 - November 24, 2012

This makes me very happy! No need for diets or exercise after all! 😉

nrhatch - November 25, 2012

Dr. Yu Phat’s advice is sure to get the holidays off to a grand start.

16. Three Well Beings - November 25, 2012

Well then! I’m definitely on my way to excellent health! I thought I was going to have to turn over a new leaf by Monday!

nrhatch - November 25, 2012

My holiday regimen will include copious amounts of chocolate . . . and a daily nap. 😀

17. sufilight - November 25, 2012

I liiiike this doc! Haha. 😀

nrhatch - November 25, 2012

Definitely a keeper! And he is so right about chocolate . . . it is a good mood food. 😀

18. sweetdaysundertheoaks - November 25, 2012

Laughing here! Leftovers gone.. 😦

nrhatch - November 25, 2012

BFF and I have been making inroads into the leftovers ~ a bit of sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce left for lunch today.

19. Perfecting Motherhood - November 28, 2012

I want to bet your doctor learned of this during his residency in France. Hey, look at us, we eat a lot of greasy food, we take naps and we’re not huge, so it has to work.

nrhatch - November 28, 2012

I think that calories consumed in cafes while people watching must not count. You want Frites with that? 😉

20. gita4elamats - December 17, 2012

Is this for real?

nrhatch - December 17, 2012

I wish! :mrgreen:

gita4elamats - December 17, 2012

Phew!


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