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He Who Laughs, Lasts November 24, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Nature, Word Play.
61 comments

Uncluttered desktops
And slim tidy files
Surfaces gleaming
Reflecting bright smiles

Walks on wide beaches
‘Neath blue-tinted skies
These are the things that
Make me feel alive

He who laughs, lasts
Say C~H~E~E~S~E!

* * * * *

Written for Trifextra Challenge ~ My Favorite Things (33 words, no more, no less).

Aah . . . that’s better!

Misconceptions About Food and Dieting November 24, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Health & Wellness, Humor, Joke.
50 comments

Woodstock-&-Snoopy3Just in time for the Holidays, I am delighted to bring you this interview with my new primary care physician, Dr. Wong Yu Phat.

Dr. Phat offers advice that we can live with . . .

 

Q:  Doctor Yu Phat, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can  prolong life.  Is this true?
A: No, no.  Not at all.  Heart only good for so many beats, and that it ~ don’t waste on exercise.  Everything wear out eventually.  Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster.  Want to live longer?  Take nap.

Q:  At this time of year, holiday gatherings and social invites proliferate.  Should we limit alcohol intake at holiday parties?  
A:  No, no, no. Fruit and vegetables good for you.  Wine made from fruit.  Brandy distilled wine.  That mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way.  Beer also made of grain.  Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.  If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are the advantages of a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry.  My philosophy: No  pain . . .good!

Q:   What about fried foods?  Are they bad for us?   
A:  YOU NOT LISTENING!  Food fried in vegetable oil.  How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q  :  Will doing sit-ups every night prevent me from developing a tire around the middle?
A:  Oh no!   When you exercise muscle, it get bigger.  You  should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger tire belly.

Q:  But isn’t getting in shape important? 
A:  Hey!  Round is shape!

Q:  What about chocolate?  Is chocolate bad for us? 
A:  You crazy?!?   HEL-LO-O!!  Cocoa bean!  Another vegetable!  It best feel-good food  around!

Q:  My trainer said that swimming is good for my figure.  What do you think? 
A:  NO WAY.  If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Thank you for your candid advice, Dr. Wong Yu Phat!

I hope this interview cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Now, go enjoy the holidays . . . eat, drink, and be merry!  And, whatever you do, don’t exercise.

Aah . . . that’s better!

Source: e-mail from an unknown author (sent by Granny1947)