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Are You Trying To Make Me Feel Guilty? September 22, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Mindfulness.
51 comments

Have you ever been asked to support a “good cause” by buying something you don’t need, want, or plan to use?

By a pushy salesperson who refuses to accept your polite  dismissal?  Someone who continues to duel and spar with you instead of  moving on to the next target?  Someone who views you as a sucker with a bullseye on your wallet?

I have.   And it always annoys me when “they” try to make me feel guilty for not buying what they are selling.

But, of course, I’m far too polite to say so. 

Instead, I say “no, thank you” in as many different languages as possible:  

“Oh, no thanks.  I don’t need one of those at the moment.”

“Well, you could give it to someone as a gift.”

“Oh, no thanks.  I’ve stopped exchanging gifts with people because all my friends have too much stuff.”

“Well, you could buy it and donate it to Goodwill.”

“Yes, I could . . . but I could also cut out the middle man and just give the cash to Goodwill.  That might be easier to track at tax time.” 

Enough!  No more Mister Nice Guy.  The gloves are OFF.  

The next time some eight-year-old tries to twist my arm to buy Girl Scout Cookies, I’m going to let her have it.

I’m going to turn the tables and shine the spotlight directly on her sales technique:

“Excuse me.  Are you trying to make ME feel guilty?”

{{Pregnant Pause}}

“Don’t you think that YOU should feel guilty for trying to sell such an unhealthy snack to people who are desperately trying to lose weight and whittle their waists?”

{{Still nothing}}

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack, diabetes, a stroke?”

{{Shakes head from side to side}}

“Well . . . what part of NO don’t you understand?”

Having done my good deed for the day, I shall flounce into the nearest Publix, head straight to the chocolate aisle, and reward myself for not giving into the temptation of saying YES just because it’s easier than saying NO.  

What? 

Stop looking at me like that.  

Are you trying to make me feel guilty?

Well, it won’t work. 

Here . . . have some C~H~O~C~O~L~A~T~E!

Aah . . . that’s better!