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A Litmus Test For Love May 16, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, People.
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Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to our own.  ~ Robert Heinlein

If we’re focused on THEM and adding to THEIR happiness . . . it’s probably LOVE. 

If we’re focused on wanting THEM to make US happy . . . it’s probably not.

What say you?

Comments»

1. suzicate - May 16, 2012

I say you got that right on the money!

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

BFF just made my Happy Hour that much happier . . . he ran out to the detached garage through the pouring rain (in flip flops) to get me some spicy V-8 for a Bloody Mary.

He came back wearing a bike helmet to protect his head in case he slipped, tripped . . . or flip flopped.

We both roared. 😆

suzicate - May 18, 2012

This cracked me up! My hubby (many years ago) flip flopped on his bike and though it hurt him I couldn’t stop laughing and had him laughing off his pain….so bad!

nrhatch - May 18, 2012

Laughter is good pain medication ~ for physical and emotional hurts. 😆

2. magsx2 - May 16, 2012

Hi,
So very true.

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

And the best love of all is that which is reciprocated . . . with both parties to the equation doing their best to make the other laugh and smile. 😀

3. Andra Watkins - May 16, 2012

We demonstrate love by our actions. It is an action, how we treat the person we say we love.

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

Yes, indeed. Actions speak louder than words.

4. Crowing Crone Joss - May 16, 2012

it’s what my sweetie and I have found with each other and all I can say is “wow”.

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

That’s so cool, Joss. It’s so exciting that the two of you are riding and hiking off into the sunset together! Yee Haw!

5. sufilight - May 16, 2012

I say it’s true! My mate and I do this for each other. When I had my hearing challenge las month, I was starting to get into a depression, but because I didn’t want add sadness in his life, I didn’t allow myself to get depressed. And ironically because I thought of him, I helped myself! Read your flip flop comments about your BFF, beautiful! 🙂

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

I do the same, Marie. I don’t want to “bring him down” so I put on a happy face . . . and I “get happy.”

We often joke that bike helmets should be worn . . . everywhere ~ the mind is a terrible thing to lose.

6. Booksphotographsandartwork - May 16, 2012

Or flip flopped, ha thats so funny! Love hmmmm thats another matter all together.

nrhatch - May 16, 2012

Watching him run through the rain with a helmet on his head and a silly grin on his face made me laugh out loud.

That’s love. 😀

7. viviankirkfield - May 16, 2012

Spot-on, Nancy!
My ice-cream cone tastes so much better and is so much more satisfying when I share it with my honey. 🙂

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

Ditto! I generally like to make those around me “happier” . . . BFF especially.

8. jannatwrites - May 17, 2012

I would say you’ve got it right!

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

Love is one of those things that’s hard to define and harder still to put in a box . . . but it tends toward GIVING rather than DEMANDING. 😀

9. sweetdaysundertheoaks - May 17, 2012

I love this post Nancy!

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

I got the quote in my e-mail a couple days ago and decided he nailed it. I’ve applied it to several old relationships and decided that LOVE flows from our instincts to be generous and kind . . . not greedy or grasping.

10. Maggie - May 17, 2012

Good post – and epic truth.

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

I have known people to profess “love” . . . when their actions shouted to the contrary.

Maggie - May 17, 2012

Me too… and unfortunately, that happens quite often.

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

You might be interested in this post:

http://www.marriedwithluggage.com/2012/05/17/how-to-get-the-respect-you-deserve/

It gives great examples of people who take advantage of our “warm and fuzzy” feelings for them . . . and what to do about it.

11. Jas - May 17, 2012

Well said…

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

Thanks, Jas. I wanted to share the quote. It didn’t need much embellishement.

Jas - May 17, 2012

It certainly didn’t.

12. William D'Andrea - May 17, 2012

I don’t like that last comment I sent, but I have no way of deleting it.

I prefer these words:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(1st Corinthians 13)

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

I deleted it for you. I know what you meant by it . . . but your revised comment sounds far more loving.

Karen J - May 18, 2012

Thank you for quoting the whole passage, William. 🙂

13. Three Well Beings - May 17, 2012

I really do believe this! You often speak about being aware of how what we think about creates our reality, and this is the perfect underscore. There is nothing better to snap me back to reality when I get into a “mood” than to begin thinking about how I can either bring everyone down with me, or uplift even a little bit, and then of course, you know what happens next! 🙂 BTW…loved the BFF in the helmet story! Hilarious…and practical. Debra

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

BFF cracks me up! He’s such a good sport about things and he can be zany and silly just when I am most in the mood to benefit from his crazy shenanigans. 😆

I’m with you, Debra. When I’m hanging out with friends, including BFF, I don’t dwell on challenges I’m facing because getting others to focus on my problems won’t add to the net happiness in the world. The best way to make ourselves happier it to make others laugh and smile.

I do share a few pertinent facts IF others might have useful information to impart ~ for example, the recent situation with Tigger. If there was a “miracle drug” or holistic cure out there, I wanted to know about it. Talking about the situation, led to finding out some potentially useful information about dietary changes. Time will tell if they do the trick.

14. kateshrewsday - May 17, 2012

Ah, you’re a wise lady, Nancy….something to put on my fridge. Love is selfless, its true….

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

Well, the credit for this post goes to Robert Heinlein. As soon as I read his quote, I knew I wanted to share it.

15. barb19 - May 17, 2012

Spot on, Nancy!
I love what BFF did for you!

nrhatch - May 17, 2012

Me too. He’s a good man to have around at Happy Hour . . . or any hour. 😀

16. bluebee - May 18, 2012

Too true – if we expect others to make us happy when we aren’t making an effort ourselves, we are lost and placing a burden on them

nrhatch - May 18, 2012

Yes. It is not their job to be there for us . . . that’s OUR job. 😀

17. Karen J - May 18, 2012

‘Tis a fine line, though – defined much by tone-of-voice and actions and expectations, as well as words – “…when we aren’t making an effort ourselves…” .

nrhatch - May 18, 2012

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path. ~ The Buddha

18. cuhome - May 18, 2012

I say “yuppers, I agree!”. ♥

nrhatch - May 18, 2012

Life is better with laughter . . . and love!

19. Perfecting Motherhood - May 19, 2012

I’ve always said, happy wife, happy life, so it’s quite true! 😉 Unfortunately I think most people have the love concept backwards…

nrhatch - May 19, 2012

Certainly, many do have it backwards ~ e.g., being urged to do what we don’t want to do because THEY want us to do it:

“But I want you to come . . . it won’t be any FUN (for me) without you.”

20. Team Oyeniyi - May 24, 2012

Totally agree!

nrhatch - May 24, 2012

Here’s to Love . . . and Happiness. 😀

21. nrhatch - March 26, 2016

“And still, after all this time,
The sun never says to the earth,
“You owe Me.”

Look what happens with
A love like that,
It lights the Whole Sky.”

― Hāfez


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