Ever Wonder . . . April 18, 2012
Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Joke.trackback
Wikipedia ~ Tarzan the Fearless (in Public Domain)
Ever wonder . . .
* Why Tarzan doesn’t have a beard?
* Why we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
* Why banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they know we’re broke?
* Why we believe it when someone tells us that there are one billion stars in the universe but, if someone tells us there is wet paint, we have to touch it to be sure?
* Why they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
* Why no plastic bag will open from the first end you try?
* How those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?
* Why Superman can stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when someone tosses a revolver at him?
* Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
* Whose idea it was to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?
* Why we never hear father-in-law jokes?
* Why bubbles are always white no matter what color bubble bath we use?
* Whether there is ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
* Why people keep returning to the fridge hoping that something new to eat will have materialized?
* Why people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, and put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
* Why people try to keep the house as warm in winter as it was in summer when they complained about the heat?
BONUS JOKE:
Statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.
If they’re OK . . .
you. are. the. one.
Quote to ponder: A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!
And a day without sunshine is like . . . night.
If you enjoyed these, thank Granny1947 . . . she sent them to me!
Related articles
- Questions That Haunt Me! (blogbiscuit.wordpress.com)
Comments
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Spirit Lights The Way 
I think about this also: Everyone I know tells me they are the sanest person (or the only sane person) in their family.
Now, see, that makes sense to me . . . that folks with common sense and sanity would gravitate to you while folks lacking in those areas would drift into the shadows. 😀
Or why you never can think of the right thing to say in reply when someone goes all road-rage on you until 3 seconds after they have driven off.
That delay might be a “life preserver” of sorts. 😯
enjoyed this post! thanks for sharing
Enjoy a day filled with smiles. 😀
Too many thoughts to boggle this mind this morning…I’ll have to think about them later!
One of my favorites is when people circle around the parking looking for a spot closer to the entrance . . . at the gym!
Walking . . . that’s exercise, right? 😉
Hehehe.
Thanks, Granny. Enjoyed the “Definition of Virgin” piece this morning. 😯
Oh, so funny to read ideas from another wondering, wandering mind….I wonder alllll dayyyy longgg….but had never thought of many of THOSE wonderings…maybe I’ll let the mind get even more creative in it’s wandering “I wonders…???) uh oh! (btw…I just noticed this, as I type this comment….I wonder why the question mark (????) isn’t the primary mark on that keyboard key???? ///=primary???? )
Thanks Nancy for the funny post….that’s what I need…some smiles to start my day!
Good thought, Kathy. I use the “?” more often than the “/” . . .
* Maybe the person who came up with the current keyboard configuration felt s/he already had all the answers?
* Maybe s/he just liked to type “s/he” with ease?
It’s a mystery!
Thanks, Granny, and thanks Nancy for passing these on. They are pretty funny, all right. I especially laughed at the string on the floor one. I don’t know why I do it…it’s just automatic lol
Here’s what I was wondering this morning. Why do people contradict themselves when they are agreeing. Someone tells you an epiphany that you agree with…you say, “Yeah, yeah…no, you are absolutely right.” Watch you (or the other person) say words to this effect. It puzzles me for real…and I say it myself.
No, you are absolutely right . . . 😉
And I’ve definitely done the weird vacuum thing a time or two.
You just ruined me for the rest of the day. Ever wonder who decided that scissors would be a “pair” instead of just a sigular object? What gives with that? They’re friggin’ attached together! Doesn’t stop me from running with them.
“Pass me a scissor” just doesn’t have the same ring to it! 😉
Haha. I am forever opening the cabinets and the fridge hoping something other than what’s there will be there. 🙂
Yes! It’s like continuing to ponder the meaning of life . . . if it had no meaning yesterday, it’s not like to have profound meaning today. 😀
Heh. Good stuff. But note, it was only George Reeves (the TV Superman) who ducked when a gun was thrown. Guns hurt. Bullet strikes were “special effected” in. ))
Now, with improved CG special effects, Superman no longer has to look like a wimp! 😛
Maybe the car will fix itself and start tomorrow morning.
Yup . . . that’s a bit like checking the fridge contents to see if they’ve sorted themselves out to produce something spectacular. 😆
Thank you for the funnies Nancy… and Granny.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein
Glad you enjoyed . . . and I LOVE that quote. I’ve featured it a time or two. 😀
I’m not worried about you, but I do catch myself returning to the fridge hoping that something new to eat will have materialized. 😉
As a teen, I did it ALL the time. Bored. Check the fridge. Hungry. Check the fridge. Hmm . . . same stuff. 😉
“You are the one”….that really gave me the giggles! I already knew I was mental anyway, it’s okay 😉
The remote control one, it’s true! I used to do that, back in the day when I had a TV….
I love the “bonus joke” too . . . makes me smile.
😀
That is quite a trivia barrage, Nancy. Sterilised needles for lethal injections? Really?
I believe that I have heard that before . . . in “real life.”
They are all so funny – but so true! Thanks for the giggle Nancy – and Granny!
Glad you enjoyed, Barb. Some of the e-mails circulating in cyber-space are FUN to share.
I was smiling as I can resonate with most of what you wrote, especially with never being able to open plastic bags at the grocery store on the first try. 🙂 And as for being sane, well… I admit I am a little nutsy and perhaps that makes me saner than I thought. LOL.
Good point, Marie. We’re all a bit nuts . . . or crackers . . . or bananas! 😆
funny food for thought. how about this – if berries that are black are called blackberries, and berries that are blue are called blueberries, then why are red berries called either strawberries or raspberries?
My best guess . . . strawberries and raspberries BOTH wanted to be called red berries. They got into a fight and someone with a “maternal instinct” settled the dispute:
“That’s it! I’ve had ENOUGH! NEITHER of you are going to be called red berries! Now . . . go to your rooms!”
And what about Huckleberries and Gooseberries? Who came up with those names???
All this wondering is making my head hurt. Here’s one: How did the vampires on Buffy always have such great hair? They couldn’t look in mirrors.
That’s a good question, Greg. With no mirrors, you’d expect them to be walking around with messy hair, blood-shot eyes, and blood stained cheeks. 😯
So funny! And I am the one 🙂
Ha ha! Here’s to being NUTS! 😀
These were all just great! I have wondered about the lethal sterilized needle for lethal injections! That has always seemed incredibly odd. What a great list of things to ponder! 🙂 Debra
Glad you enjoyed . . . and congrats on winning the autographed book from Andra and MTM!
Here’s to being just eccentric enough. 😀
Fun post Nancy! I do the string and vacuum thing all. the. time!
Yup . . . even if a wastebasket is steps away we give the VC one more bite at the string. 😉
Fabulous – just the pick-me-up I needed, before a meeting with my supervisor. Thanks, Granny and Nancy 🙂
Glad you enjoyed, Jacqueline. Hope the meeting is stellar. 😀
I’m so glad to find from previous comments that I’m not the only one that has done the vacuum thing. I was all prepared to deny it 🙂
I’m not even going to touch the sanity bonus joke. I think I surround myself with people that are just as nutty as I am!
The vacuum thing seems to be #1 on the Hit Parade. 😀
BTW: Welcome back!
I know I am the one, haha 😉
“Whose idea it was to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?” – LOL 😀
They had a sense of the ironic, eh?
I wonder and then I forget to ask why…this has been circulating on facebook and another one that I need to dig up. Great. 😆
Thanks for the humor. I particularly like the vacuum one. I had to share them with my car companions as we return from a trip to Buffalo.
😀
Love the list…I tried to pick a favorite but I thought them all equally thought provoking.
I excised a few that I didn’t like . . . the rest resonated at some level.
Oh, I know I am the one. Chnaces are we have two in the family!
Yes, I DO wonder about sterilised needles for a lethal injection. Pushing the lift button multiple times is another – or the pedestrian crossing lights!
At times, I am also “the one.” At other times, I’m so surrounded by crazy folks that I wonder if the whole world’s gone bonkers!