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Ever Wonder . . . April 18, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Joke.
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Wikipedia ~ Tarzan the Fearless (in Public Domain)

Ever wonder . . .

* Why Tarzan doesn’t have a beard?

* Why we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

* Why banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they know we’re broke?

* Why we believe it when someone tells us that there are one billion stars in the universe but, if  someone tells us there is wet paint, we have to touch it to be sure?

* Why they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?

* Why no plastic bag will open from the first end you try?

* How those dead bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

Fly* Why Superman can stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when someone tosses a revolver at him?

* Why kamikaze pilots wore helmets?

* Whose idea it was to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?

* Why we never hear father-in-law jokes?

* Why bubbles are always white no matter what color bubble bath we use?

* Whether there is ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

* Why people keep returning to the fridge hoping that something new to eat will have materialized?

* Why people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, and put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

* Why people try to keep the house as warm in winter as it was in summer when they complained about the heat?

BONUS JOKE:

Grumpy gusStatistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.

Think of your three best friends.

If they’re OK . . .

you. are. the. one.

Quote to ponder:  A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine! 

And a day without sunshine is like . . . night.

If you enjoyed these, thank Granny1947 . . . she sent them to me!

Comments»

1. Life in the Boomer Lane - April 18, 2012

I think about this also: Everyone I know tells me they are the sanest person (or the only sane person) in their family.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Now, see, that makes sense to me . . . that folks with common sense and sanity would gravitate to you while folks lacking in those areas would drift into the shadows. 😀

2. trixfred30 - April 18, 2012

Or why you never can think of the right thing to say in reply when someone goes all road-rage on you until 3 seconds after they have driven off.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

That delay might be a “life preserver” of sorts. 😯

3. terry1954 - April 18, 2012

enjoyed this post! thanks for sharing

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Enjoy a day filled with smiles. 😀

4. suzicate - April 18, 2012

Too many thoughts to boggle this mind this morning…I’ll have to think about them later!

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

One of my favorites is when people circle around the parking looking for a spot closer to the entrance . . . at the gym!

Walking . . . that’s exercise, right? 😉

5. granny1947 - April 18, 2012

Hehehe.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Thanks, Granny. Enjoyed the “Definition of Virgin” piece this morning. 😯

6. Pocket Perspectives - April 18, 2012

Oh, so funny to read ideas from another wondering, wandering mind….I wonder alllll dayyyy longgg….but had never thought of many of THOSE wonderings…maybe I’ll let the mind get even more creative in it’s wandering “I wonders…???) uh oh! (btw…I just noticed this, as I type this comment….I wonder why the question mark (????) isn’t the primary mark on that keyboard key???? ///=primary???? )
Thanks Nancy for the funny post….that’s what I need…some smiles to start my day!

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Good thought, Kathy. I use the “?” more often than the “/” . . .

* Maybe the person who came up with the current keyboard configuration felt s/he already had all the answers?

* Maybe s/he just liked to type “s/he” with ease?

It’s a mystery! :mrgreen:

7. Sandra Bell Kirchman - April 18, 2012

Thanks, Granny, and thanks Nancy for passing these on. They are pretty funny, all right. I especially laughed at the string on the floor one. I don’t know why I do it…it’s just automatic lol

Here’s what I was wondering this morning. Why do people contradict themselves when they are agreeing. Someone tells you an epiphany that you agree with…you say, “Yeah, yeah…no, you are absolutely right.” Watch you (or the other person) say words to this effect. It puzzles me for real…and I say it myself.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

No, you are absolutely right . . . 😉

And I’ve definitely done the weird vacuum thing a time or two.

8. BrainRants - April 18, 2012

You just ruined me for the rest of the day. Ever wonder who decided that scissors would be a “pair” instead of just a sigular object? What gives with that? They’re friggin’ attached together! Doesn’t stop me from running with them.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

“Pass me a scissor” just doesn’t have the same ring to it! 😉

9. Andra Watkins - April 18, 2012

Haha. I am forever opening the cabinets and the fridge hoping something other than what’s there will be there. 🙂

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Yes! It’s like continuing to ponder the meaning of life . . . if it had no meaning yesterday, it’s not like to have profound meaning today. 😀

10. Richard W Scott - April 18, 2012

Heh. Good stuff. But note, it was only George Reeves (the TV Superman) who ducked when a gun was thrown. Guns hurt. Bullet strikes were “special effected” in. ))

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Now, with improved CG special effects, Superman no longer has to look like a wimp! 😛

11. Carl D'Agostino - April 18, 2012

Maybe the car will fix itself and start tomorrow morning.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Yup . . . that’s a bit like checking the fridge contents to see if they’ve sorted themselves out to produce something spectacular. 😆

12. thirdhandart - April 18, 2012

Thank you for the funnies Nancy… and Granny.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Glad you enjoyed . . . and I LOVE that quote. I’ve featured it a time or two. 😀

13. thirdhandart - April 18, 2012

I’m not worried about you, but I do catch myself returning to the fridge hoping that something new to eat will have materialized. 😉

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

As a teen, I did it ALL the time. Bored. Check the fridge. Hungry. Check the fridge. Hmm . . . same stuff. 😉

14. Alannah Murphy - April 18, 2012

“You are the one”….that really gave me the giggles! I already knew I was mental anyway, it’s okay 😉

The remote control one, it’s true! I used to do that, back in the day when I had a TV….

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

I love the “bonus joke” too . . . makes me smile. :mrgreen:

Alannah Murphy - April 18, 2012

😀

15. kateshrewsday - April 18, 2012

That is quite a trivia barrage, Nancy. Sterilised needles for lethal injections? Really?

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

I believe that I have heard that before . . . in “real life.”

16. barb19 - April 18, 2012

They are all so funny – but so true! Thanks for the giggle Nancy – and Granny!

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Glad you enjoyed, Barb. Some of the e-mails circulating in cyber-space are FUN to share.

17. sufilight - April 18, 2012

I was smiling as I can resonate with most of what you wrote, especially with never being able to open plastic bags at the grocery store on the first try. 🙂 And as for being sane, well… I admit I am a little nutsy and perhaps that makes me saner than I thought. LOL.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

Good point, Marie. We’re all a bit nuts . . . or crackers . . . or bananas! 😆

18. pix & kardz - April 18, 2012

funny food for thought. how about this – if berries that are black are called blackberries, and berries that are blue are called blueberries, then why are red berries called either strawberries or raspberries?

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

My best guess . . . strawberries and raspberries BOTH wanted to be called red berries. They got into a fight and someone with a “maternal instinct” settled the dispute:

“That’s it! I’ve had ENOUGH! NEITHER of you are going to be called red berries! Now . . . go to your rooms!”

And what about Huckleberries and Gooseberries? Who came up with those names???

19. Rufus' Food and Spirits Guide - April 18, 2012

All this wondering is making my head hurt. Here’s one: How did the vampires on Buffy always have such great hair? They couldn’t look in mirrors.

nrhatch - April 18, 2012

That’s a good question, Greg. With no mirrors, you’d expect them to be walking around with messy hair, blood-shot eyes, and blood stained cheeks. 😯

20. Booksphotographsandartwork - April 18, 2012

So funny! And I am the one 🙂

nrhatch - April 19, 2012

Ha ha! Here’s to being NUTS! 😀

21. Three Well Beings - April 18, 2012

These were all just great! I have wondered about the lethal sterilized needle for lethal injections! That has always seemed incredibly odd. What a great list of things to ponder! 🙂 Debra

nrhatch - April 19, 2012

Glad you enjoyed . . . and congrats on winning the autographed book from Andra and MTM!

Here’s to being just eccentric enough. 😀

22. sweetdaysundertheoaks - April 19, 2012

Fun post Nancy! I do the string and vacuum thing all. the. time!

nrhatch - April 19, 2012

Yup . . . even if a wastebasket is steps away we give the VC one more bite at the string. 😉

23. wightrabbit - April 20, 2012

Fabulous – just the pick-me-up I needed, before a meeting with my supervisor. Thanks, Granny and Nancy 🙂

nrhatch - April 20, 2012

Glad you enjoyed, Jacqueline. Hope the meeting is stellar. 😀

24. jannatwrites - April 20, 2012

I’m so glad to find from previous comments that I’m not the only one that has done the vacuum thing. I was all prepared to deny it 🙂

I’m not even going to touch the sanity bonus joke. I think I surround myself with people that are just as nutty as I am!

nrhatch - April 20, 2012

The vacuum thing seems to be #1 on the Hit Parade. 😀

BTW: Welcome back!

25. bluebee - April 21, 2012

I know I am the one, haha 😉

“Whose idea it was to put an “s” in the word “lisp”?” – LOL 😀

nrhatch - April 21, 2012

They had a sense of the ironic, eh?

26. eof737 - April 23, 2012

I wonder and then I forget to ask why…this has been circulating on facebook and another one that I need to dig up. Great. 😆

27. CMSmith - April 23, 2012

Thanks for the humor. I particularly like the vacuum one. I had to share them with my car companions as we return from a trip to Buffalo.

nrhatch - April 23, 2012

😀

28. jeanne - April 23, 2012

Love the list…I tried to pick a favorite but I thought them all equally thought provoking.

nrhatch - April 24, 2012

I excised a few that I didn’t like . . . the rest resonated at some level.

29. Team Oyeniyi - April 24, 2012

Oh, I know I am the one. Chnaces are we have two in the family!

Yes, I DO wonder about sterilised needles for a lethal injection. Pushing the lift button multiple times is another – or the pedestrian crossing lights!

nrhatch - April 24, 2012

At times, I am also “the one.” At other times, I’m so surrounded by crazy folks that I wonder if the whole world’s gone bonkers!


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