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Turning A Deaf Ear March 7, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness, People.

Recently, I read a post by a divorced mother, “FIVE Things NOT to Say to Divorced Moms.”

More than a few commentators expressed surprise at the innocuous comments she found objectionable, noting that the problem lay not in the questions, but in the way she chose to interpret them.

I agree.  How we relate to the issue IS the issue. 

This divorced mother wanted everyone else to change . . . so she didn’t have to.  And, by wanting to control things outside her control (i.e, the rest of the world), she added to her suffering by the thoughts she was thinking.

Of course, she’s not alone.  Many of us want others to tailor their behavior to suit our specific sensibilities.  We want “them” to change how they interact with us . . . so we don’t have to change the way we think.

I expect this divorced mom enjoys getting upset over “nothing” because of the attention she receives once she steps into the role of “victim.”

Again, she’s not alone.   Many people make mountains out of molehills.  They hang on to “hurt” for far longer than necessary.  They encourage others to stop, look, and listen to their stale tales of woe because they enjoy being in the spotlight.

Maybe it’s time to turn a deaf ear to these “drama queens.”

Refusing to listen to temper tantrums by toddlers is a form of compassion.  Instead of allowing them to suck us into a maelström of  their creation, we  strive to distract them from their negative spiral of habitual thought.

Perhaps we should do the same for adults who are acting like two-year-olds.

Instead of allowing our fellow sojourners to wallow in self-created misery, we can encourage them to let go of pain from the past and fertile imaginings about what the future MIGHT bring.  We can help them to “grow up.”

How?  By ignoring them.

By turning a deaf ear as soon as they start ranting and raving about things they cannot hope to change.

If someone has recently lost a loved one or been diagnosed with a life threatening illness, the “first duty of love” is to LISTEN.

But (as is often the case), if someone is letting their fears, guilt, doubt, worry, angst, anger, etc., run rampant, creating unnecessary pain and suffering for themselves and all those in close proximity . . . maybe we should refuse to listen to them for any longer than it takes to change the subject.

Aah . . . that’s better!

What say you?

Related posts:  The Contagion of Sadness (Creating Reciprocity)

The Lorax March 7, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Books & Movies, Nature, Sustainable Living.

“I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues,” says The Lorax, the title character of Dr. Seuss’ classic children’s tale.

Now a major motion picture, Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax reminds us  that all of us should “speak for the trees.”

Universal Pictures has created “The Lorax Speaks” project, which encourages moviegoers to help restore one of the world’s most beautiful and diverse rainforest habitats by supporting The Nature Conservancy’s Plant a Billion Trees campaign:

Centuries ago, Brazil’s Atlantic Forest covered nearly 330 million acres, an area roughly the size of the eastern seaboard of the United States. Today only 7 percent remains, much of which is in isolated fragments.

By planting one or several trees through this campaign, you can help preserve and restore the lush, green canopy of Brazil’s Atlantic Forest which is home to 23 species of primates and 1,180 species of mammals, amphibians, reptiles and fish. With 1,000 species of birds, 200 of which are not found anywhere else on Earth, the Atlantic Forest is also considered one of the most important places for bird conservation.

Through the Lorax Speaks project, Universal is helping plant 150,000 trees via the Plant a Billion Trees campaign, and the Dr. Seuss Estate is supporting the planting of 10,000 trees. Universal is also helping raise awareness of the message of the film through a Facebook promotion, which enables moviegoers to post and share a personal profile picture featuring a “Truffula Tree.” Through this social media effort, Universal intends to generate support and action on behalf of the trees and forests everywhere.

To learn more and to donate:  How YOU Can Speak For The Trees (The Nature Conservancy)

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” ~ Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Related posts:  Corporations Kidnap the Lorax and Use Him to Greenwash Dangerous Products (Disinformation)