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Disconnected Connections & Distractions February 16, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Happiness, Mindfulness, Nature.

We are connected.

Connected via cell phones, text messages, smart phones, the world wide web, Facebook, Linkedln, Google, Goodreads, StumbledUpon, e-mails, and tweets via Twitter.

And, yet, we are more disconnected than ever.

Our face time has given way to Facebook time.  Hugs and kisses are often of the cyber variety.  And we LOL more than we laugh out loud.

Can you hear me now?

I’ve read a few articles recently that address the price we pay for the constant distractions we face from our disconnected cyber connections.

From one:

* “Facebook . . . is to friendship what fast food is to nutrition ~ a quick way to feel like we’ve gotten what we need.  But when compared with what we really need, what we get is insubstantial.” ~ Arleen Spenceley, Facebook is Going Public, Tampa Bay Times, February 12, 2012.

It’s like eating non-nutritive cereal varnish . . . instead of real food.

* For many, cyber connections include “constant pressure to impress an imaginary audience, consistent interruptions, and perpetual preoccupation with the question:  Should my Facebook status reflect this?” ~ Ibid.

* Signing off of social media is a form of “asceticism, an emptying of my time and space so I can fill it with what matter more in the long run.” ~ Ibid.

In another recent article:

* “The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug. ~ Pico Iyer, Quietude, Solitude, Silence, Time to Think, Tampa Bay Times, January 29, 2012

By way of example, people who stay in a cliff-top room at the Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur (a “black-hole resort”) spend $2,285 a night for “the privilege of not having a TV in their rooms.”

Distracting ourselves is nothing new, of course.

“Distraction is the only thing that consoles us for our miseries, and yet it is itself the greatest of our miseries.” ~ Blaise Pascal, 17th century French Philosopher.  (Pascal also noted that “all of man’s problems come from his inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”)

* A series of tests in recent years has shown that, after spending time in quiet rural settings, subjects “exhibit  greater attentiveness, stronger memory, and generally  improved cognition.  Their brains become both calmer and sharper.”  ~ Pico Iyer, Quietude.

Sounds good to me.

Press *2* for “disconnect.”

Aah . . . that’s better!

How many friends do you have on Facebook and in other cyber venues?

If you sent a cyber farewell to these e-friends, unplugging from Facebook to take a cyber sabbatical, how many would you hear from in the next week?  Next month?  Next year?

Related posts:  Intimacy ~ In-To-Me-You-See (Soul Dipper) * Meetings ~ More Meaning, Less Death (T4D) * Fiddles, Radio Broadcasts, Signing Off, and iPads (Christine M. Grote) * Creating Friendship in a 21st Century World (Lisa Wields Words) * No Mobiles Day (Grannymar)


1. Andra Watkins - February 16, 2012

Nancy, I have tons of connections in cyberspace, though I don’t really feel much connection. The more these sites move toward being advertising platforms, the less connected anyone is going to be. Increasingly, I find myself opting out of Facebook and spending time elsewhere. One of the reasons I started my blog was to connect with people who wanted a more meaningful slice of life, which meant spending less time status-updating and yakking on social media platforms. For the most part, I’ve been happy with that change.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

I’m with you, Andra . . .

Twitter is a constant “in your face” stream of cyber chatter that communicates in “sound bites” rather than in a sharing of thoughts worth pondering. Everyone’s shouting to be heard above the din.

Blogging is quieter and gives us a chance to explore ideas in greater depth than we ever could with constant tweets and twitters.

Even so, I remind myself to step away from the keyboard to take a deep breath of life OUTSIDE the cyber sphere.

2. Richard W Scott - February 16, 2012

Evocative post.

I’ve seen a lot of back and forth on the topic of connectedness and disconnectedness, and the fact that we spend so much time on the Internet, or communicating via electronics.

I see a couple of things here.

One, we, as a culture, have become so needy of constant input that being quiet is a nearly forgotten art. Yes, some people meditate, even more pretend to, but are really just working out their shopping lists or busying their minds with other thoughts. We turn on the TV, we play the radio (occasionally both at the same time). We bring something to read while waiting in line, or play games on our phones. We stay busy. If there is nothing else available, we sings songs to ourselves or some such. Quiet isn’t really a part of our world any more.

On the idea that communicating via electronics is inferior to human touch, face-to-face, I wonder if that isn’t more a matter of new vs. old? We can stand by the river all day and scream at it, demanding that it go the other direction, but rivers go the way they go, and continue to unless you dam them.

The kids today would find the idea that you need to be with someone, person to person, in order to have a meaningful conversation or relationship, ridiculous. They have friends all over the world–as do many of you!

Paul Harvey used to say, “you can’t un-ring a bell.” The “bell” of electronics, social media, and long-distance relationships has been rung, and until we bomb ourselves back to the stone age, I don’t see this changing.

Our children, their children, and all those to come will never consider that social media is wrong, or weak, or in any way inferior to getting out on the crowded streets of the world and breathing in the germs and foul air.

The world continues to change.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Good thoughts, Rik.

I don’t think that we need to scream at the river . . . or the TV . . . or the internet. But, if we can no longer hear ourselves think over the constant stream of cyber noise, we can reach for the remote and give ourselves a break from cyber space.

I’m not sure that you are correct that children will prefer cyber space to the world wide world.

Iyer agrees: “Since luxury, as any economist will tell you, is a function of scarcity, the children of tomorrow will crave nothing more than freedom, if only for a short while, from all the blinking machines, streaming videos, and scrolling headlines that leave them feeling empty and too full . . . all at once.”

3. suzicate - February 16, 2012

Sorry, I would comment but I pushed 2 for disconnect!
Seriously, great post…so far, I still refuse to tweet though I do FB.
Phone use is very limited for me, only when needed or with family and close friends.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Good for you! I took a lovely cyber break after posting to have lunch with BFF and to talk (face-to-face) with our next door neighbors. 😀

No twitters or tweets or texts for me. I’m on FB, but spend very little time on the site. After the novelty of re-connecting with “long lost friends” wore off, the newness grew old fast. Now, I use it like an e-mail with pictures.

4. Lisa Wields Words - February 16, 2012

Nancy, you are so right. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I’m not sure I’m ready to press 2 . . . but I’m getting mighty close.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

My cell phone sits in my purse for “emergencies” and is not used for anything but phone calls. We prepay $100 for 400 minutes that last for 12 months before expiring. Last year, I think we used about 100 minutes . . . the entire year.

I use FB as an “e-mail” of sorts for friends and family ~ I unfriended most of the e-people I met on FB.

I don’t expect to stop blogging though. This “cyber journal” gives me a chance to engage in real conversations without having to get everyone together in a single room at the same time. People can add thoughts on their schedule and I can respond on mine. Blogging and visiting other blogs is the best part of cyber space for me.

But I will spend time EVERY DAY in Quietude too ~ silence and serenity restores and replenishes me.

5. Paula Tohline Calhoun - February 16, 2012

I have come to the point in my life that I really dislike all phone calls unless I’m the one making them, or they are ones that I have been eagerly awaiting! Unfortunately, caller ID does not identify calls that way. I prefer Skype communications and I am grateful for it, because then I can see who I am talking to, and they are generally initiated (by me and my Skype-friends) in advance so that I can be at the computer and am not doing something else that needs to get done and is more important.

I don’t mind, especially, being connected in cyber space as long as I have control over how/when to respond, or not respond at all.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

That’s key, Paula . . . realizing that it’s up to us to control how and when to respond to the constant cyber chatter.


6. Sandra Bell Kirchman - February 16, 2012

Nancy, there is some truth in your post, but I have to take issue with some of it. This comes from my past experience. I have fallen in love over the internet. It was not possible to be in person with my love (he fell in love with me too) as he lived 8K miles away (in New Zealand). We eventually got together in person and finally married. I can’t begin to describe to you the connectedness we felt over the internet…the feelings were too strong to even try to describe.

That the marriage did not last was not the fault of the internet…it was because of a gradual divergence of interests and lifestyle. We are still the best of friends and still very fond of each other.

So I disagree that communication over the internet is like empty calories. Meaningful and deep relationships can be had, which often include deeper insights and sharing than would be possible in person. He was fond of saying that “we fell in love from the inside out.”

Having said that, I do agree that what I experienced is not the norm. However, many of my friends and relatives have thanked me for the inspirations and jokes I send them. It’s a good way to keep in touch and let them know you are thinking of them.

Life now isn’t what it was 10 years ago. The pace has picked up. People simply don’t have the time they used to for other people. The internet provides a solution…it’s easier to drop someone a line than it is to meet for coffee.

With so many contradictions, my opinion is that there is room in people’s life for both…personal contact and the internet. The internet is like any tool. If you use it wisely and understand its limits, you have something that will be a powerful life aid.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

I don’t disagree with you, Sandra. I didn’t mean that all cyber communication is “empty” of nutritional value . . . but I think that much of what passes for “communication” on Facebook and Twitter (“I have a hangnail”) is nothing more than cyber NOISE.

Arlene’s article included the following:

“This is not to say I don’t lose out, too. some of my best friends are people I met online. Thanks solely to social media, I have tracked down, interviewed and written about heroes of mine. Once I flew to Houston to visit a friend I made on Twitter. By agreeing not to use social media, I agree never to have experiences quite like these again. I grieve a real loss.”

I think that the danger is that we get so caught up in the constant stream of information that we forget to take time to process it and put it into context.

If we exercise BALANCE between being connected and disconnecting from distractions for a few hours a day . . . we can enjoy the BEST of BOTH worlds ~ cyber space and real life.

Sandra Bell Kirchman - February 16, 2012

Ah, I see. Then I can agree with you wholeheartedly.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Like Arlene, I’ve met some blogging buddies face-to-face ~ Jeanne (Flying G’ma), Renee (Life in the Boomer Lane), and Pix (Under the Oaks) . . . and hope to meet many more. 😀

7. souldipper - February 16, 2012

I appreciate all the new techno tools for communication, but I find it necessary to work at keeping balance. I don’t want the tail to wag this dog!

As with any new addiction, it rules us for a while, but when we catch on, we manage it. Some need more help or discipline than others.

Is my time on these devices hurting my time with people already in my life?

As for encouraging children to talk – go out on a walk/field trip *with* a kid and see who does most of the talking.

Thanks for the link, Nancy.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

I’ve considered this issue for some time now. Each of us must decide how BEST to utilize and tap into all the resources we have at our disposal.

If we don’t, as you say, the tail will be wagging the dog . . . and we’ll be too exhausted to pull the plug.

8. sufilight - February 16, 2012

I love blogging, especially in WordPress because of the opportunity to connect with uplifting people and learning something new. Overdoing it with the cyberworld is unbalancing for me, so I try not to do this.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Same here, Marie. BB (Before Blogging), I “never” interacted with people living in South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, France, Portugal . . . and had had limited exposure to people in England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Canada, and many of the 50 states.

I feel that my perspective on the world has G~R~O~W~N in all the right ways. 😀

9. kateshrewsday - February 16, 2012

Oh, Nancy, wonderful post but it’s buffering a strong pull I have towards running away to a Scottish island and being self sufficient. Which would be disastrous, as I have no practical comment sense whatsoever….but oh, to be away from the world for a while…..

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Ooh . . . what about the Scottish Hebrides? But only in the summer months. In the winter, we must be someplace warmer. 😉

10. 2e0mca - February 16, 2012

I’d suggest firing up the pc and interrupting the start-up sequence. Then, at the DOS prompt, entering fdisk and hitting the enter key… That will solve lots of problems, especially if it’s your company computer 😉

I disconnected from Facebok a while ago because it’s full of people who want you to play their farm game or similar. I has no real creative encouragement and precious little security.

Ok – Blogging differs very little but at least I feel have a degree more control over what you publish and who responds. You’re much less likely to be bombarded with game requests.

I’ll stick with Flickr too as that seems to be a much more refined community than the world of Facebook. People tend to contact you because they recognise a mutual photographic interest

Meeting face-to-face? Most companies don’t if they can help it – costs too much – so we live in a virtual world of voices where we have no faces for the people we work with (my daily colleagues Rohit and Pinaki are a case in point!) and faces that we know and are lucky enough to hear on the phone (My current manager). It’s a very different workplace from when I came to work for the first time close on 40 years ago!

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

I think that blogging differs in the “quality” of the interactions . . . but we must still monitor the time we spend at the keyboard.

My brother works for several people that he’s never met face to face in the office. Very different from when his career with AT&T started.

11. Carl D'Agostino - February 16, 2012

With all these alleged connections I think people are less connected than my parent’s generation who actually picked up a pen and wrote letters. All the connections described here seem so frivolous.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

I agree, Carl. Our parents and grandparents sat on the front porch and attended church socials and went bowling or had cocktails parties to interact with friends and neighbors.

Also, as you point out, they wrote actual letters and sent them via snail mail . . . and did not expect the immediate gratification of a text response with a LOL. 😆

12. jeanne - February 16, 2012

Everything in moderation!

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

With a bit of balance thrown in for good measure. 😀

jeanne - February 16, 2012

and of course…chocolate!

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Of course! 😆

13. viviankirkfield - February 16, 2012

Thank you, Nancy! I appreciate your realistic attitude towards the internet and technology (cell phones, etc.). Of course we are not going to “go back” to a time of no technology…but we can (and should) control our use of it (and our children’s use of it). Being tech savvy is an important skill if one wants to do business in the world today…however, I am with you and Carl D’Agostino, the face-to-face interactions are not only important skills, they are crucial to our brain/eye/hand development.

We need to encourage children to connect with real breathing people. Perhaps some parents are too quick to pass off the responsibility of parenting to computers, TV and other media….busy and overwhelmed, those parents forget that they are the first and most important influencers in their children’s lives. That’s why I am always advocating positive parental participation and getting back to basics…sitting down to dinner together, perhaps preparing it together, going for a walk or playing sports together. I might not be so passionate about this if I saw great academic strides in our country’s schools (but children are failing and falling behind…and this with all the shiny computers and high tech equipment) or if the suicide rate in children and teens wasn’t rising all the time.

And letter writing? I agree with Carl…AWESOME skill…and not an email letter…but a real one with pen and ink (oops…forgot that the schools are not going to be teaching cursive anymore…they have to spend that time teaching to the tests whose scores determine government funding…I guess we will have to sign our name with an X in the future…hmmmm…are we going forward or backward?). If anyone is interested in seeing such a letter, you can go to my blog and check out the letter I wrote to my kids about how I met their father. 🙂

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Good thoughts, Vivian. When my nieces visit, we have “text free zones” where we TALK . . . face to face . . . no texting allowed.

The letter you wrote to your kids about meeting your husband is a wonderful example of writing from the heart!

14. sweetdaysundertheoaks - February 16, 2012

Twitter and Facebook have never interested me, never done either. Blogging yes. I don’t like to text and I am terrible about phoning friends. We don’t even have a phone hooked up in our home. I have a cell and keep it close if I think my husband’s Mom is going to check in. Usually at wine time 😀 We like to know she is OK. We live in a very rural area and I feel a fair amount of isolation, so blogging is a great way to connect with like minded people and I have been surprised by the fact that people I have nothing in common with have been a great treat and a wonderful experience. I feel some frustration with blogging in that I really like to see and interact with my friends face to face. I’m like a kid who can’t sit still when I meet someone on the blogs and my only way to connect with them is typed letters. I want to see their face and watch them laugh and see their eyes and touch their arm when I feel a strongly shared feeling or thought. I hate running the risk that things typed will be taken the wrong way. I want a face to face relationship! Obviously not always possible.

I don’t find my connections with the people I meet blogging frivolous. Meeting you Nancy was a wonderful time and you pop in my mind daily and you are close to my heart. I have met other bloggers and have a similar feeling about them. It seems to me that Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, tumblr and all the other cyber distractions have all had an impact on blogging. I see a huge slow down of posting by some of the people I know and care about. Makes me sad,but then I shouldn’t say much because I certainly am an inconsistent infrequent blogger. But I stay connected to the people that I care about through email and commenting on blogs. What other way when face to face is not an option. I hate to phone because I feel I am getting into their private space. I am reluctant for that same reason to ask for an address even though I would love to send a thinking of you card with a note or a picture. And I try to live my real life first, “in the now” and blog during down time at home. So these are my rambling thoughts for what they are worth! Very interestin’ post Nancy and I wish I could sit on a Florida porch with you and talk till the sun sets!

sweetdaysundertheoaks - February 16, 2012

Geeeeesh! Sorry about the length.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Great thoughts, Pix. No worries about the length. Face to Face is nice . . . especially outside on a sunny day!

We can talk until the sun sets . . . or the cows come home . . . or both. 😀

15. Life in the Boomer Lane - February 16, 2012

The more ways we invent to communicate, the shallower that communication becomes.

nrhatch - February 16, 2012

Especially when the “turn around time” is faster than the speed of light. I always laugh when someone says, “I sent them an e-mail yesterday and they haven’t gotten back to me yet!”

“Wait . . . you’ve been waiting since YESTERDAY! What’s wrong with them? Do they have a LIFE?”

16. creatingreciprocity - February 17, 2012

Real relationships involve all sorts of messy and inconvenient aspects and a lot of these can be avoided in virtual relationships. Facebook etc are good ways to connect with acquaintences on a shallow contact level and that is fine as long as it doesn’t have to substitute for real deep contact. Good subject and post, Nancy. Thanks.

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

Well put, Patricia.

There is NOTHING WRONG with using Facebook for “peripheral relationships” or to augment our “real life” connections (sharing photos, quick updates, etc.).

But if we only interact with our fellow beings via cyber space . . . we shall become a shallow race indeed.

17. jannatwrites - February 17, 2012

Blogging is really the only thing I do online. For my life, I just don’t have time for Facebook, Twitter, texting, etc. I agree that we need to have our quiet time (and we thought that was just for small children.)

Time to press “2” 🙂

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

I am “on” Facebook but visit for only 5 minutes a day (if that).

People can reach me there by posting on my wall, viewing my pictures, or sending a private message, but I no longer scroll through endless updates from e-friends who are inclined to update their status everytime they opt for a bath over a shower . . . or want to share what they ate for dinner.

Blogging is a better use of my increasingly limited cyber time.

18. Tilly Bud - February 17, 2012

It depends on how you use it. FB allows me to keep in touch with relatives I haven’t seen for years, spread out all over the world. I spend time with the people I care most about, friends and family, as much as I can. It’s all about balance.

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

Exactly! These new methods of “connection” don’t teach us how to use them to enhance our lives . . . that’s OUR job.

19. CMSmith - February 17, 2012

Good post, Nancy. It does have that same addictive quality that I blame video games for.

It’s so hard to turn it all off. Partly because, in my case as is probably true for many, if I stop looking at my emails, or blog posts, for some period of time, unless I want to give it up altogether, I know I am going to fall way behind.

You’ve probably already seen this post I wrote early in my blogging career (only about a year ago) on a similar topic – http://ow.ly/981O2

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

I used to spend hours scrolling through all the updates on Facebook for the same reason . . . it was the only way to stay “up to speed” with what all 497 cyber-friends were doing.

Then . . . I unfriended all but 97 of these e-friends because I realized I no longer cared whether their cat had coughed up 13 hairballs in a single day.

Then, with a more manageable number to monitor . . . I stopped scrolling through all the daily updates. Now I VISIT a few specific people’s pages at a time to see what they’d been up to. Most of them are relatively “inactive” on Facebook (because they enjoy life in the real world), so it’s no longer a time consuming proposition. 😉

Thanks for the link. I’ll run around.

20. Creating Friendship in a 21st Century World « Woman Wielding Words - February 17, 2012

[…] Nancy at Spirit Lights the Way wrote a post called “Disconnected Connections & Distractions” which, in addition to a few events this week, got me thinking about this topic. How and where do […]

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

Good post, Lisa.

Fear is definitely a part of it. It’s much easier to ignore someone in the cyber world who says something that makes us uncomfortable than it is to ignore those same words dripping from their lips over coffee or tea . . . especially if we’ve invited them into our home.

But it’s also the constant bombardment of information all day that makes many of us feel “over stimulated” . . . we already feel like we’re interacting with hundreds or thousands of people, so we become less interested in connecting face-to-face with “strangers” to see where it leads.

21. Victoria-writes - February 17, 2012

So true Nancy. Our best friend will be a screen if we let it 🙂

nrhatch - February 17, 2012

I am fortunate to live with my BFF . . . he has no interest in the blogosphere (except for what I write) and often pulls me away into the real world for fun, frivolity, and play time. 😀

22. bluebee - February 18, 2012

I don’t use FB or Twitter – blogging is an outlet, an exchange of ideas and a collection of conversations. I never confuse it as a substitute for flesh-and-blood friendship

nrhatch - February 18, 2012

Sounds like you’ve got things in proper balance, BB. I enjoy exchanging thoughts and ideas with blogging buddies . . . but I prefer a real hug from BFF to a cyber hug anyday.

23. William D'Andrea - February 18, 2012

I am a single guy living alone. The times when I physically meet with friends are limited. Everyone has places to go and things to do; so I’m glad to be able to share a few moments with my internet friends. We read and answer the messages we send, whenever we have the time.

As a matter of fact, when I was writing my novel “A Gatored Community” along with our lost friend Andalib, who I never got to meet face to face, it was actually the most thoroughly satisfying relationship I’ve ever had with any woman.

I know that sounds pathetic. I suppose I could be called a lonely man, but I’m no where near as lonely as I was before I joined the conversations on different websites.

For that I say “Thank God for the internet!”

nrhatch - February 18, 2012

It does seem rather sad that the most “satisfying relationship” you’ve ever had with a woman is with someone you never met (and who may not have been who she portrayed herself to be).

Nevertheless, I am glad you’re enjoying your cyber-connections, William.

24. William D'Andrea - February 18, 2012

Please don’t feel sorry for me. I do have a good number of friends, who I regularly meet with face to face. It’s just that with women, nothing ever worked out. Now I’m satisfied with living alone; and would find it very difficult to share my living space with anyone.

I’m not 100% opposed to the idea. I just think that if a woman should come into my life, that would be fine; but if no one ever does, that would be ever better.

As for Andalib not “being who she portrayed herself to be”. Let’s not get into that again. It’s best if we leave that argument behind us.

nrhatch - February 18, 2012

Aah, but William, you are the one who “resurrected Andi” by bringing her into the conversation ~ given that, I don’t believe you should be able to dictate the parameters for the discussion. 😉

And I don’t feel “sorry” for you since you are the only expert on your life. Presumably, the life you are leading is the one you have chosen for yourself.

25. William D'Andrea - February 18, 2012

I wasn’t trying to “dictate the parameters for the discussion.” I was simply requesting that we avoid getting involved in something that is needlessly painful.

nrhatch - February 18, 2012

The pain is all in your mind, William. You grew attached to your projection about Andi. When she vanished in a cloud of cyber smoke, you suffered a loss of your own creation, causing yourself unnecessary suffering.

When we get caught up in images projected on a screen (TV, Film, Internet, or the pages of our minds), we may end up mourning the loss of fictional characters we’ve grown to love.

But there is another choice. Instead of mourning the loss of a cyber personality you never met . . . you could just be happy for the time you shared with “her” in cyber space.

26. William D'Andrea - February 18, 2012

That is exactly what I did, when I dedicted the novel to her. The Dedication says;

“I dedicate this novel to my co-author Andalib Marx, who was
unfortunately killed in an auto accident, during the first weekend
in October, 2011.

“I am overwhelmed by her loss. She was not only my friend
and co-author, but while writing this book, she was also my
inspiration, the story’s star and its leading lady. I will truly miss
her from now on. However, as long as this book that she and I
created exists, Andalib Marx will always be alive for me upon
every one of its pages.

“So here’s looking at you Andalib! We’ll always have Shellfish

William D’Andrea”

27. sonsothunder - February 18, 2012

Love your content…that’s why I am Awarding you with the Awesome Blog Content, or ABC Award. From my site here:


But, as I haven’t posted an acceptance entry as of yet, and since there are @ least (2) badges to choose from, that I know about, you can read the suggested pay-forward stips, and choose from 2 badges at the ladies site who awarded me here if you like:

Great site!!! Keep up the wonderful content.

nrhatch - February 18, 2012

That’s AWESOME! Thanks for thinking of SLTW for an ABC nomination. 😀

28. Perfecting Motherhood - February 20, 2012

It took me a long time to get on Facebook but I finally did it about 6 months ago. I like using it to keep in touch with my close friends and family and share pictures of my kids, rather than send them the blast email with pictures attached whenever I think about it. I have a total of 55 friends there (in comparison I have 330+ professional connections on LinkedIn) and I’ve removed a few not that long ago. I also don’t want everybody I barely know to view what’s going on in my life and with my kids, so I keep the list down to the people I trust.

I do agree with you though that we’re completely disconnected from each other compared to how things used to be even 20 years ago. I think many people are very shallow in general. And not to sound mean and stereotyping, but many Americans are superficial and call most people their “friends” compared to other cultures. That’s an observation shared by many Europeans who have lived in the U.S. for a while. I think that’s why Facebook is so successful here.

nrhatch - February 20, 2012

Facebook is a great way to share photos with friends and family, but if it’s our only “connection” with people we haven’t seen for 20-30 years . . . it’s a pretty tenuous connection.

Perfecting Motherhood - February 20, 2012

I figure there’s a reason why we haven’t kept in touch with these people for so long and I don’t see the point of reconnecting after so long, especially if you don’t really intent to deeply connect with that person.

I’ll say one thing about Facebook (or other social media websites) though. It’s helped me reconnect with people I had lost touch with through moving away and not keeping up with everchanging contact information. I’ve reconnected with a very good friend who is now trying to make a living with her art and it’s great to see what she works on. I would never have found her without Facebook (she actually found me), especially since she changed names after getting married and uses that name for her business. Clearly, I’m only interested in staying connected to people I find “interesting”!

nrhatch - February 20, 2012

When I first joined Facebook, I loved “re-connecting” with my HS, College, and Law School classmates. But after the initial flurry of “what have you been doing all these years,” and checking out each other’s photos, the give and take seemed to “die down.”

I don’t mind being on FB, I just don’t spend much time there.

29. eof737 - February 20, 2012

What amazes me is the invites I get to join other newly created social sites… I can barely keep up with the main ones (read – never able to keep up), let alone join new ones! 🙂

nrhatch - February 21, 2012

Same here. I have no plans to start tweeting on twitter . . . or linking up on linkedin. ENOUGH! 😀

30. Get Unplugged! « Gold Arrow Camp's Blog - February 25, 2012

[…] Disconnected Connections & Distractions (nrhatch.wordpress.com)[…]

31. D. M. Doughty - March 25, 2012

Don’t need to spend $2,300 a night for a room with no TV … I know how to turn it off, and frequently do. Have fewer than 30 FaceBook friends … not even my wife is on my friends’ list … if I wanna talk to her, I know where she lives.

nrhatch - March 25, 2012

I like the way you think, crumbl!

32. Grannymar - October 27, 2013

I( think this is what Nick and the rest of us have in mind.

nrhatch - October 27, 2013

I think it’s a great idea and would sign up in a minute except for the fact that I have a NO MOBILE DAY every day.

I just don’t use my cell phone much at all. Unlike the woman sitting next to me at the Kirkin’ of the Tartans service who texted for most of the sermon.

Actually, that’s an idea. 💡

Next time, instead of sitting with my fingers in my ears trying to drown out the sermon by chanting “la la la la la” . . . I’ll just tune the minister out by texting my nieces and nephews. 😛

Grannymar - October 27, 2013

I love it!

nrhatch - October 27, 2013


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