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The Snapping Turtle’s Lament January 28, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Fiction, Humor, Nature.

Stupid chicken!  Always going on and on about life on the other side of the road.  I can’t even tell you how many times I heard:

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . to get to the other side.

The more I heard about “the other side,” the more convinced I became that I should make the journey and see for myself.

Stupid chicken!


Now, here I am . . . only halfway across the road and I’ve run out of steam.  It’s hot and I’m tired.  I just want this ordeal to be OVER.

From this mid-way mark, I see what waits on the other side of the road.

Not much, that’s for sure.

There’s no discernible difference from the grass I left behind ~ not enough to motivate me to keep going forward.

Whoever said, The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, is an idiot.


Hey!  Watch out where you’re going . . . stupid drivers! 


Continuing this journey to reach some pre-determined destination no longer holds any appeal for me . . . but I don’t have enough energy or stamina to turn around and retrace my steps.

I’m stuck!

Stuck in the middle of the road . . . hoping that the cars whizzing past are sporting bumper stickers that say, I Brake For Turtles.

The last thing I need is some beat up pick up truck bearing down on me with a bumper sticker that says, Turtle Soup . . . it’s what’s for dinner!

Stupid chicken!

And while we’re on the subject of chicken . . . turtle meat does NOT taste like chicken.

Turtle meat tastes like rotting fish innards.

Chicken is MUCH tastier!

So listen to those cows . . . Eat M’Or Chicken!

Aah . . . that’s better!


1. suzicate - January 28, 2012

This made me smile, really big; ear to ear!

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

I had so much FUN writing this, Suzi!

We happened upon a snapping turtle in the middle of the road yesterday. It wasn’t moving. It had run out of steam.

BFF picked it up and returned it to the lakeside of the road. As soon as he set it down on the grass . . . it made a beeline for the watery deep.

And we could hear it saying, Stupid Chicken!

2. Piglet in Portugal - January 28, 2012

Goodness Nancy I can relate to that turtle!

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

That’s why I wrote it, PiP!

We often go after what others have . . . because “they” have convinced us that we should want it too. Even when we don’t. 😉

Piglet in Portugal - January 29, 2012

It’s good to keep reminding ourselves we don’t!

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

Socrates believed that people who took the time to examine their lives became FRUGAL as a result.

When asked why he went to marketplace every day, he replied, “I like to go and remind myself of all the things I don’t need or want.”

Wise man, that Socrates. 😉

3. barb19 - January 28, 2012

I was going to ask you what instigated this intriguing post Nancy, but now I know! Yaaaay to BFF for rescuing the turtle!
I guess we’ve all been on the “other side” and found out there is nothing better or different! Great post!

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

Thanks, Barb! This was a delight to write . . . I’ve never personally personified a turtle before.

There are times when we look “over the fence” and realize we might like it better on “the other side” ~ for example, our move to Florida. In my experience, the best way to evaluate that sort of change is to look within for guidance, rather than sticking our neck out to blindly follow another’s lead.

4. sufilight - January 28, 2012

This made me smile! 🙂 I have been the turtle on occasion when I didn’t know that all that matters is what is within, my perceptions, and then the grass will always be green on my side of the fence.

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

Thanks, Marie! Often, if we find ourselves at what feels like a “dead end,” we realize we are “stuck” because we followed someone else’s lead rather than listening to our own intuition.

5. souldipper - January 28, 2012

A brilliant metaphor, Nancy.

If you sat in the car giving me the “Stupid chicken” line, I would have had to look for a washroom. 😀

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

Thanks, Amy! We were laughing so hard, we almost didn’t make it home! 😆

6. Nancy Curteman - January 28, 2012

That turtle just doesn’t get that the other side of the road is what she should make of it. I guess she forgot that she will only make progress by sticking her neck out. She needs to take that leap in the dark.

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

Good points, NC. Perseverance is good . . . provided that we are headed in the right direction.

Of course, sometimes the opposition we face is the Universe’s way of saying, “Turn Around. You’re going the WRONG way!”

How do we know whether to “keep on keeping on”?
Look deep. The answers lie within.

7. Andra Watkins - January 28, 2012

Great post, Nancy. 🙂

nrhatch - January 28, 2012

Thanks, Andra!

8. Pocket Perspectives - January 29, 2012

That was funny…and insightful at the same time…great combo there. And then to top it off with BFF rescuing the turtle…just perfect!
There was a good quote on Daily Enlightenment today….”you may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your own grass, it would be just as green.”

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

Thanks, Kathy. I love that quote! We should water our own garden before moving on to “greener pastures.”

9. jannatwrites - January 29, 2012

Hilarious! stupid chicken Ha!

The poor little guy was in a pickle. Pickles taste good on chicken sandwiches, not on turtle sandwiches. (So I’ve heard.)

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

Thanks, Janna! You’re right! I don’t think we’ll see a Super Bowl commercial this year: Turtles + Pickles = Perfect Together.

Just sayin’ 😉

10. adeeyoyo - January 29, 2012

Well I think the grass was thinner on the other side… ‘cos too many people, turtles and chickens crossed over to have a look!

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

You are RIGHT, Denise.

Far better to take the “road less traveled.” It’s less DUSTY! 😉

11. Crowing Crone Joss - January 29, 2012

heh heh. this was great. Glad you rescued the turtle too. We have a couple of snappers on the property, one is named Sally and I look for her every Spring.

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

Oh, that’s nice, Joss. It’s such a pleasure when “welcome visitors” make their homes in our yards.

12. Rufus' Food and Spirits Guide - January 29, 2012

I don’t know. I liked the turtle soup in NOLA.

nrhatch - January 29, 2012

Once, I stopped to save a turtle by moving it to the side of the road. When I realized it was a snapping turtle, I decided to just “stand guard” until it reached the other side.

Just as it reached the shoulder, the driver of a pick up truck slammed on the brakes, hopped out, and tossed the turtle into the bed of his truck.

Shocked, my mouth hung open.
He looked at me and said, “Sorry. Did you want it?”
“Uh, no.”
“Great. We EATS ’em.”

13. Booksphotographsandartwork - January 29, 2012

I stopped once to pick up a huge turtle in the middle of the road. I was wearing a dress and had never touched a turtle that size before. I am sure I looked quite silly but it was worth it. I hope I put him on the right side of the road come to think of it. They have such a terrible plight. I always feel so sorry for them.

nrhatch - January 30, 2012

We humans are always in such a rush to engage in the rat race ~ animals pay the price for our haste. We abandoned the idea of living in the Poconos because of all the dead deer we saw on the side of the winding roads.

We must learn to live in harmony with the Earth . . . thanks for doing your part.

14. eof737 - January 30, 2012

Oh! This is sooooo sad. I couldn’t quite make out the second picture but don’t tell me. 😦

nrhatch - January 30, 2012

It’s NOT a squashed turtle . . . it’s just a photo to show what a snapping turtle’s tail looks like as it scurries away.

Here’s to reaching the right side of the road for us. {{clink}}

15. Team Oyeniyi - January 30, 2012

Very very cute. I feel sorry for turtles when it comes to battling human development. 😦

nrhatch - January 30, 2012

The turtles, the deer, the bobcats, the gators, the polar bears, the rhinos, the elephants, the chimpanzees . . . etc., etc., etc.

We need to do a better job of integrating with the wonders of the world . . . if we want a wonderful world in which to live.

16. jeanne - January 30, 2012

Stupid chickens! Greener grass means more mowing, right?

nrhatch - January 30, 2012

Exactly! Better to hold back on the manure . . . to save ourselves from mowing so often. 😆

17. bluebee - January 30, 2012

hahahaha 😀
Chooks – you can’t trust ’em

nrhatch - January 30, 2012

You really can’t . . . they’re very “flighty.” 😉

18. roughwighting - August 18, 2017

Love it, Nancy! I think I better get one of those ‘I brake for turtles’ bumper stickers. Your remarks above in the comment about you moving a turtle and then a guy taking it and putting it in his truck made me cringe. POOR Mr. Turtle. We need to help them out, not put them in soup!!! xo

nrhatch - August 18, 2017

Agreed! I’d rather brake for turtles than make turtle soup.

roughwighting - August 18, 2017


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