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The Snapping Turtle’s Lament January 28, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Fiction, Humor, Nature.
39 comments

Stupid chicken!  Always going on and on about life on the other side of the road.  I can’t even tell you how many times I heard:

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . to get to the other side.

The more I heard about “the other side,” the more convinced I became that I should make the journey and see for myself.

Stupid chicken!

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Now, here I am . . . only halfway across the road and I’ve run out of steam.  It’s hot and I’m tired.  I just want this ordeal to be OVER.

From this mid-way mark, I see what waits on the other side of the road.

Not much, that’s for sure.

There’s no discernible difference from the grass I left behind ~ not enough to motivate me to keep going forward.

Whoever said, The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, is an idiot.

S~C~R~E~E~C~H!

Hey!  Watch out where you’re going . . . stupid drivers! 

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Continuing this journey to reach some pre-determined destination no longer holds any appeal for me . . . but I don’t have enough energy or stamina to turn around and retrace my steps.

I’m stuck!

Stuck in the middle of the road . . . hoping that the cars whizzing past are sporting bumper stickers that say, I Brake For Turtles.

The last thing I need is some beat up pick up truck bearing down on me with a bumper sticker that says, Turtle Soup . . . it’s what’s for dinner!

Stupid chicken!

And while we’re on the subject of chicken . . . turtle meat does NOT taste like chicken.

Turtle meat tastes like rotting fish innards.

Chicken is MUCH tastier!

So listen to those cows . . . Eat M’Or Chicken!

Aah . . . that’s better!