jump to navigation

The Golden Rule Is Tarnished January 13, 2012

Posted by nrhatch in Mindfulness, People.
trackback

Perhaps one reason there is so much intolerance and race to judgment is the Golden Rule so many of us learned in Sunday School:

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It encourages us to view our way of dealing with the world as THE right way, and to notice when others  fall short of the bar we’ve set for THEIR behavior.

As we focus on US, and evaluate how we want others to treat US, we become a bit like The Church Lady, pursing our lips, Well, isn’t that special?!

Perhaps we need to adopt a different Golden Rule:

I bless you. I release you. I set you free.
I allow you to be you and me to be me.

Aah . . . that’s better.

What say you?

Related posts:  If The World Was Populated By Six Billion Of Me, I’d Be Totally Gay (Raptitude) * Perfect Picture Book Fridays ~ Yes, We Can (Positive Parental Participation) * Inspiration ~ Lessons We Wish We Had Learned Earlier (Mirth & Motivation)

Advertisements

Comments»

1. mrkoenig66 - January 13, 2012

What you share from your soul and put into words is a blessing and a gift to us all! Namaste _/\_

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Michelle.

If we want to be accepted for WHO we are, we need to allow others the same latitude by accepting them as they are. 😀

2. Lisa Wields Words - January 13, 2012

It all comes down to recognizing and accepting that each individual is different, and what is right for one may not be right for the other. Learning to read these differences and accepting them for what they are could, indeed, make this world a better place. Thanks for the new rule, Nancy.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Excellent thoughts, Lisa. We are not homogenous. Life is NOT one-size-fits-all. Each of us is on a different path. Nevertheless, we are urged to “conform to the norm.” To “get in line” and “stay in line.”

The Golden Rule encourages us to act like Border Collies . . . yipping and yapping at the heels of miscreant “sheep” who stray outside the fold by choosing to “color outside the lines.”

When we accept ourselves as and where we are . . . we stop using others as a frame of reference for our behavior. We look within to determine what to be, say, and do . . . and we encourage others to let their own inner light shine.

3. Joanne - January 13, 2012

ALMOST ideal, Nancy… Why not leave the Golden Rule as one that is always tarnishable and call this new rule the DIAMOND RULE ~ for as your blessing says, each of us is free to be ourselves ~ a precious gem. Has ayone ever even thought of naming a DIAMOND RULE…? 😉

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Ooh . . . that’s lovely, Joanne. Other options:

The Ruby Rule.
The Rock Rule.
The Zebra Rule.

The Coat of Many Colors Rule.
The Color Outside The Lines Rule.
The “Be Who You Are” Rule.

The Loving Kindness and Compassion Rule.
The Acceptance Rule.
The Non-Judgment Rule.

The “Look deep . . . the answers lie within” Rule.

The “Be Here Now” Rule.

ceceliafutch - January 17, 2012

Loving this one!

nrhatch - January 17, 2012

Emptying our expectations allows us to “Let It Be” far more easily.

Peace within -> Peace without.

4. Tori Nelson - January 13, 2012

I’ve had a really hard time with the Golden Rule this year. I realized that it sounds wonderful in theory, but sometimes a few folks will treat you poorly, regardless of how kind you are to them. I guess the important part is just to be the kind one, no matter if you get a little bad in return sometimes!

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Excellent point, Tori. We cannot control how others choose to live their lives . . . we can only control our choices and our reaction to their choices.

Acting with loving kindness and compassion, and extending forgiveness, benefits us:

https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/loving-kindness-compassion/

5. viviankirkfield - January 13, 2012

And the other fallacy with the Golden Rule is that if we don’t think well of ourselves (which many many people truly don’t), then the way we treat others IS the way we really feel we should be treated…not well at all. So we come back to what I think is one of the keys to loving others…learn to love yourself. That’s why I’m always so passionate about uplifting young kids and helping them value themselves, master tasks and skills, develop a positive self-image. Then they can reach out and value others.
Thanks Nancy…great post!

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

I agree, Vivian. When we learn to love, value, and appreciate our unique attributes . . . we appreciate and value the unique attributes we see in others.

https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/11/20/paint-your-world-as-you-want-it/

6. Carl D'Agostino - January 13, 2012

“allow” still puts us in control as in the first rule and still indicates our way is the right way or that we are in authority to grant this allowance. Or should I even allow what is unacceptable based on the simplest or moral or ethical structure? But that keeps us in the loop that our way is exclusive of all others. Is tolerate a better word? Probably not as it is not incumbent upon me to tolerate the intolerable which still keeps us in the loop of being judgmental. Why are we to expect fairness or reciprocity on the part of the other in the first place? Perhaps a directive that moderates our behavior not contingent on another’s may offer a solution such as “do not be the source of anyone’s misfortune or discomfort” In addition there is a difference in being judgmental and exercising good judgment.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Good thoughts, Carl. I see “allow” as a synonym for “accept” . . . or “let it be.” I strive to embrace the Wiccan precept, “Do what you will an harm none.”

7. Piglet in Portugal - January 13, 2012

Do you think the U.S. is intolerant to other nations?

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

That’s a BIG question, PiP.

What do you mean by “the U.S.”?
Can a country be intolerant?
Or is it people within a country who are tolerant or intolerant?

Many people in the U.S. are intolerant . . . not just to other nations but to those within its borders.

8. Rufus' Food and Spirits Guide - January 13, 2012

That last line is almost as catchy!

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Greg.

I expect that it’s not the Golden Rule, per se, that’s tarnished . . . it’s its faulty application.

We apply the rule backwards, to JUDGE the actions of others rather than using it solely as a barometer for our OWN actions.

For example, someone does something we don’t like, and we rush to judgment, thinking, “Wow! I would never treat someone that way! What is WRONG with them?!?! Don’t they know that they SHOULD . . . “

Instead, we could just think, “How should I choose to act in this type of situation?”

9. BrainRants - January 13, 2012

I always thought in the Golden Rule in modern idiom would sound like: “Be awesome to each other.”

Not that it would change anything, but it might be more readily understood.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

I love that, Matt! 😀

10. Andra Watkins - January 13, 2012

In theory, I am supposed to be the best person I can be, regardless of how people treat me. In practice, that isn’t easy. Still, it’s the right way for me to live life.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

I’m with you . . . I never feel better if I lower my standards to meet that of the lowest common denominator.

I strive to be kind . . . and to smile whenever possible.

11. Pocket Perspectives - January 13, 2012

Nancy….that different “golden rule”….it is expressed so simply and contains such love,kindness, compassion and wisdom in those few words…it’s beautiful. And the DaliaLama video is so special too…thank you.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Kathy. It is so easy to fall into the trap of judging others by the bar we’ve set up for ourselves.

The Dalai Lama’s wisom always inspires me. 😀

Pocket Perspectives - January 13, 2012

Of course, for me, inspiration leads to creating pages to keep that inspiration alive… I have a dearly loved one, a 24 year old, who needs to hear these special words from me today…..she deeply needs to hear these words today…may I use them in my own center post?…and may she hear them and have them resonate with love, blessings and acceptance… thank you for those words…kathy
here’s the page, not in the post section yet… yet…http://pocketperspectives.wordpress.com/other/i-allow-you-to-be-you-and-me-to-be-me/

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Yes, of course. Post away!

Pocket Perspectives - January 13, 2012

oh nooooooooooo….I just saw that used the wrong words!….it’s I set you free. not I accept you….I’ll change that!…ahhhh, attention to detail…. (I didn’t catch that in your comment, at first, but then it made it’s way along the brain pathways…. maybe I’m trying to learn acceptance too… : ) which is part of it…. ) But, “I set you free…” is a lovely image…thanks

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Not a problem, Kathy. I did see that it wasn’t an “exact quote” but I thought maybe you wanted to highlight “acceptance.”

I also didn’t know if it would be an easy thing to change once you’d created the page.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

And the plot thickens . . . I just googled the quote and found it in several other places, including:

http://theboldlife.com/2009/03/are-you-bold-enough-to-forgive-yourself-others/

So it’s NOT mine. 😀

12. Richard W Scott - January 13, 2012

Good post, Nancy. Years ago I replaced the Golden Rule with Tony Alessandra’s “Platinum Rule” “Treat others the way they want to be treated.”

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

What if they are masochists? And want us to exhibit sadistic tendencies? That would make me uncomfortable. 😉

(Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)

Perhaps the problem stems from attempting to sum up life (in all its messy complexity) with a “one-size-fits-all” rule. Doing so causes us to quickly cubbyhole present experiences based on past experiences . . . instead of seeing them as UNIQUE.

13. suzicate - January 13, 2012

I like the new golden rule, based on love and acceptance; certainly can’t go wrong with that! I’d forgotten all about that SNL character…now I’m going to have to youtube it for a laugh; thanks.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

The Church Lady is ALWAYS good for a laugh! Especially when she does her little dance! 😀

14. kateshrewsday - January 13, 2012

I say hear, hear. Backpedal on the judgement, heavy on the trusting others to live their own lives. Fab post, Nancy.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

As parents of “wee ones” . . . we certainly need to help them set the “right bar” for themselves.

But, for most other people, we (as individuals) need to allow them to be self-governing, rather than policing their every action (or omission) by OUR yardstick.

15. sufilight - January 13, 2012

Oooh, Nancy, a gem of truth! Beautifully done. Sharing in Facebook and Twitter. 😉

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Marie! When we embrace diversity of thought, word, and deed . . . the world will know PEACE!

16. Team Oyeniyi - January 13, 2012

That was the first thing my father wrote in a book of mine one. Loved it then and still do.

Team Oyeniyi - January 13, 2012

And hit the post comment button too soon.

I was going to say your perspective ties in nicely with mine about CQ and mindfulness. While my interpretation of that golden rule is to be mindful of others, I can see how it could be construed to expect everyone to “be like us.”

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

When the Golden Rule is applied as a barometer for OUR behavior, it works a charm . . . encouraging us to act with integrity and honor OUR values.

Problems arise when we attempt to use it as a “sword” to prod others to act in alignment with OUR yardstick.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

And I answered your comment BEFORE seeing your addendum.

It’s a fine line.

If we don’t want others to steal from us, we shouldn’t steal.
If we don’t want others to bully us, we shouldn’t bully them.
If we don’t want others to boss us around, we shouldn’t boss them around.
Etc.

And . . . if we don’t want others to judge us by THEIR yardstick, we shouldn’t judge them by OURS. 😀

The more accepting we are of cultural differences and diversity . . . the happier we all shall be. Sadly, society (and marketing moguls) are always urging us to “conform to the norm” . . . because it’s easier to herd a homogenous group of sheep.

Team Oyeniyi - January 13, 2012

I hadn’t had my full cup of coffee! 🙂

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Gotcha! I try to stay away from the keyboard until AFTER my coffee and morning meditation.

If I don’t, I’m apt to press “Publish” instead of “Save Draft.” 😉

17. You Were Born To Succeed - January 13, 2012

I like it! Thank you! Yes!

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Nancy! Sounds like it resonated with you.

I can’t begin to tell you how many “church ladies” I’ve met who wanted to use their yardstick to measure my worth to the world.

Silly rabbits. 😉

18. “I allow you to be you, and me to be me” | Pocket Perspectives - January 13, 2012

[…] words were on Nancy Hatch’s blog this morning…Spirit Lights the Way…  “The Golden Rule Is Tarnished” (link in comments box below) where she writes… “perhaps we need to adopt a different […]

19. Jackie Paulson - January 13, 2012

Oh how I hear you, Do unto others… we all should do this, but it is not always done. I love to listen and not talk but sometimes I get tired of hearing others talk and never reciprocate…in my family.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

I hear ya, Jackie. You’re not alone. Most people appreciate some degree of reciprocity in relationships ~ a give and take, a back and forth, an ebb and flow.

Without that balance, it begins to feel lopsided.

20. Life in the Boomer Lane - January 13, 2012

Beautifully said.

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Thanks, Renee.

I see that Joyce and Jean are doing a booksigning this Sunday at Back Alley on Bridge Street. I may make it over there to meet them. If not, I hope to meet all three of you on the 24th at Ginny and Jane E’s.

21. eof737 - January 13, 2012

Great point. I don’t think people care much for the rule anymore or maybe the internet makes it appear so… I’m for the platinum rule… 😉

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

You and Rik, both!

22. souldipper - January 13, 2012

And when we release, the trick is to leave the release alone. ;D

nrhatch - January 13, 2012

Exactly . . . no chasing after judgmental thoughts to revive them ad infinitum. 😉

23. Nancy Curteman - January 14, 2012

Wow. That’s a whole different perspective on the Golden Rule! Actually, I like your new slant on it better. I’m going work harder on myself.

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

I expect it’s not the Golden Rule, per se, that’s tarnished . . . it’s its faulty application.

We apply the rule backwards, to JUDGE the actions of others rather than using it solely as a barometer for our OWN actions.

For example, someone does something we don’t like, and we rush to judgment, thinking, “Wow! I would never treat someone that way! What is WRONG with them?!?! Don’t they know that they SHOULD . . . “

Instead, we could just think, “How should I choose to act in this type of situation?”

24. Julie - January 14, 2012

I never thought of it that way before, but I have to agree. A Golden Rule that emphasizes how I myself feel/think isn’t going to give me the empathy I need to consider others.

As always, thought-provoking…

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

Thanks, Julie. When the Golden Rule is applied as a barometer for OUR behavior, it works a charm . . . encouraging us to act with integrity and honor OUR values.

Problems arise when we attempt to use it as a “sword” to prod others to act in alignment with OUR yardstick.

25. Paula Tohline Calhoun - January 14, 2012

Oh dear, Nancy – while I understand what you are saying (I think), I nevertheless feel like perhaps it has been over-analyzed. The rule as I see it is teaching that we should keep in mind that others are the same as us in that we all need forgiveness, we all need love, we all need acceptance. If that is the way that I wish to be dealt with, then that is the way that I must deal with others.

It reminds me of the line in “The Lord’s Prayer” which says, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” (Or debts and debtors.) To me that is saying that I am asking God to forgive me ONLY as much as I am willing to forgive others! It certainly makes me want to forgive and put aside anything that I might perceive as a trespass against me.

The Golden Rule grew out of the much older Jewish teaching, “Do NOT to others what you would not have done to you.” Jesus took the “laissez-faire” tone of that and moved it up a step by making our dealings with one another proactive, rather than passive alone.

Also, the Golden Rule does not stand alone, scripturally – but it is frequently remembered as such. First was the command to “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.” The second half is like it, but in my mind only becomes real if the first half is committed to. If we live our lives as an act of love (agape), then we will love ourselves as we should and be able to love others more perfectly. Learning to love in its purest sense is a process.

You are correct in that the GR can be twisted, as many other sayings can be and have. One of my favorites is “Charity begins at home.” People have used that as an excuse for taking care of #1 first and foremost, since it was first uttered. What it is truly saying (IMHO) is that the whole idea of understanding charity and giving must first be learned at home. It is more a rule of how to teach our children, than a pronouncement on what charity is.

Oh well, I am off topic again, as usual. . .

Thoughtful post. The main thrust of my musings here is that rather than throw out the GR, try to search for the greater meaning, and a greater understanding.

But everything’s relative, and my favorite word once again comes into play: HERMENEUTICS!

Thanks, Nancy! 😆

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

The Golden Rule is fairly straightforward if we use it to judge ONLY our actions:

If we don’t want others to steal from us, we shouldn’t steal.
If we don’t want others to bully us, we shouldn’t bully them.
If we don’t want others to boss us around, we shouldn’t boss them around.
Etc.

The problem is in the application of the Golden Rule by people who use it as an offensive weapon to JUDGE others . . . rather than as a barometer for their OWN behavior.

If we don’t want others to judge us by THEIR yardstick, we shouldn’t judge them by OURS.

Judge not. Be kind. ‘Nuf said. 😀

Paula Tohline Calhoun - January 14, 2012

“It encourages us to view our way of dealing with the world as THE right way, and to notice when others fall short of the bar we’ve set for THEIR behavior.”

Nowhere in the GR do I get the sense that it is attempting to guide anyone’s behavior but ourselves. It teaches each individual how we should behave toward others, regardless of what others may do to you; in my own (perhaps dim) view, it says absolutely nothing about the behavior of the others or what they do or how they behave. We can only make the effort to treat other people as we wish to be treated. If they treat us in that fashion, great! But if not, there is nothing in the rule that says we are to demand or expect any sort of behavior from another, or that any sort of treatment we might receive is either “good” or “bad.” It is, as you say, what it is. We let it go, and judge not (unless we wish to be judged as well!). At least there is the satisfaction of knowing in our own hearts that we behaved in the manner we would wish to be dealt with ourselves.

Paula Tohline Calhoun - January 14, 2012

Oh, BTW – I’m replying at length to this most excellent post, because I have never in my life heard or read of the GR being interpreted in the way you have. It is a real eye opener, and I appreciate hearing an entirely different take on what to me has always been the Golden Rule, and untarnished.

We humans have a way of tarnishing a lot of good things, though. I shouldn’t be surprised! 😆

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

The Golden Rule implies that there is one RIGHT way to deal with the world . . . the way that WE would want to be treated.

From that, people who use it to gauge their OWN behavior begin to expect that others SHOULD act in the same way. And when those expectations aren’t met ~ anger, judgment, and intolerance burst onto the scene.

If that has NOT been your experience, you are one lucky duck!

Paula Tohline Calhoun - January 15, 2012

I understand what you are saying, and you certainly are entitled to feel that way! (I know you feel the same about my own feelings!). Only one thing I will add, and then I promise it is the end and certainly enough from me about this: Your understanding is that the GR IMPLIES something to you, whereas you are INFERRING something from it that perhaps was not the intention (in the same way that my inference might also be not was might have been intended). I just tend to want to believe the best about it and that its intentions, as I infer them, were spot on. But your final two lines are a perfect example of the Golden Rule:

“If we don’t want others to judge us by THEIR yardstick, we shouldn’t judge them by OURS.

Judge not. Be kind. ‘Nuf said.”

You choose not to judge others by your own yardstick because you do not want to be judged by theirs! So, in effect, you are living out the Golden Rule – untarnished! 😆 The way some people interpret the GR does not tarnish it, it tarnishes them! Also, isn’t your judgment of their interpretation a case in point (of both sides of the discussion)? Oh well – once again, we shall agree to disagree, and remain cyber-friends in the best sense of the word. 🙂

As always, Nancy – you put up thought provoking ideas and conversations. Thank you!

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

You’re right. The rule (standing alone) isn’t the issue ~ it’s the application that’s tarnished. People need to consider whether they are applying the rule “as intended.”

When people use the Golden Rule to measure only their OWN behavior . . . it’s “untarnished.”

But many people use it as an offensive weapon to measure (and JUDGE) the behavior of others BECAUSE of the way it’s taught.

A child takes a toy. A parent, monitoring the behavior, says, “You shouldn’t do that because of the Golden Rule ~ Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The child SEES the parent using the rule to judge the child’s behavior . . . and emulates that type of application when another child takes a cookie from them.

“You SHOULDN’T do that! Haven’t you heard of the Golden Rule?!”

Anytime the Golden Rule is brandished as an offensive weapon . . its tarnish becomes readily apparent.

26. granny1947 - January 14, 2012

Very good NR….thought provoking.
I always try to put myself in the other person’s shoes but it is not easy when someone is “in your face”….

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

No, it’s not. But I find it easier to deal with the situation . . . if I’m not also trying to get the person to conform to MY expectations.

If someone is “rude” . . . I don’t have to chase them down the aisles of the grocery store to give them an etiquette lesson. I can just let THEM and IT go.

Maybe John Lennon said it best: “Speaking words of wisdom . . . Let It Be.”

27. bluebee - January 14, 2012

And when you find a friend that lets you be yourself, hang on to them!

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

Indeed! Friends who accept us “as is” are PRICELESS! BFF and I have been together for over 30 years . . . he allows me to change and grow and evolve and BE exactly WHO I am. 😀

bluebee - January 14, 2012

And I’m so tired of Apple’s auto-corrects of my “its” and “lets” that I may just throw my iPad under the wheels of a bus…grrrr

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

Fixed it!

Sometimes I type “that’s that” . . . or “It’s its best feature” . . . just to mess with the auto editor’s mojo. 😉

bluebee - January 16, 2012

😀

28. thirdhandart - January 14, 2012

Wow! I’ve been judging people with my yardstick. From now on, I’m just going to “. . . Let It Be.”
Thank you very much.

nrhatch - January 14, 2012

It’s an easy trap to fall into, Theresa.

I would find myself getting annoyed at X . . . while thinking, “I would NEVER do that to someone.” Now, I try to shrug it off as soon as possible and get back to minding my OWN business . . . with certain exceptions.

If something really is bothering me and it’s a close friend or family member, I talk about it CALMLY.

If I saw someone abusing an animal, I WOULD speak up.
If I saw someone hit a child, I WOULD speak up.
If someone is breaking the law, I would NOT just ignore it. I would speak up, or report them, etc.

But if someone is just being “rude” . . . I try to “let it go.”

29. sweetdaysundertheoaks - January 15, 2012

“I bless you. I release you. I set you free.
I allow you to be you and me to be me.”

I say I am going to embrace this. It won’t be easy. I hear myself in the past saying, “It’s the principle of the whole thing” with respect that others don’t treat me as I treat them. It sets me up for a world of hurt. Letting it go would be so much easier on my heart in more ways than one.

Thank you Nancy!

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

You’re right, Pix. It won’t be easy. Old habits die hard. Our Ego mind ENJOYS categorizing, comparing, and judging things . . . even if those thoughts create UNNECESSARY pain, heartache and suffering for us.

First, be mindful of thoughts you are thinking, especially when you get mad, anooyed, sad, etc. Then ask, Will THIS thought bring me happiness? If not, change it. Change it again and again and . . . as many times as it takes.

Learning to let things be as they are, rather than insisting that they meet OUR expectations, allows us to deal with something we can change . . . our attitude. Namaste.

30. Cat Forsley - January 15, 2012

“DO UNTO OTHERS ”
seems so simple – but because of not accepting individualities and lack of tolerance – it falls short way too many a time …..
This is a beautiful Piece …
xx
C
This – from “Humanity Healing ”
always brings my heart back to the simple message …

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

Beautiful collection of variants on the same theme. If the Golden Rule reminds us to act with compassion and consideration for others, that is all for the good.

But when we use it to determine how others SHOULD treat us, it causes us to create expectations that will not always be met . . . and that leads to anger, frustration, revenge, retribution, judgment, intolerance, etc.

Do what you will . . . an harm none.

Cat Forsley - January 15, 2012

agreed ! and it’s sooooooo easy to be kind —— ! and rewarding for love and kindness are their own rewards !
the other way ——— “harming” ——-takes huge amounts of energy –
that hurts oneself as well as the “other ” …. yet there is NO “Other …..:)

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

I agree. There is no way to harm someone else . . . without harming ourself in the process.

Cat Forsley - January 15, 2012

AND that – is INTEGRITY 🙂

31. 2e0mca - January 15, 2012

Rules are an unfortunate consequence of the need to reside together in a compact community. However, these rules are the ones that society as a whole has to apply for some sense of order to exist. On an individual level, we have to apply rules as guidance to our kids so that they will be able to be good members of society. How we decide those rules and their application is key to whether our children go and get jobs or become misfits within society – with apologies for the simplification. In doing that it’s easy to fall into the trap of ‘Do as I say not as I do’! It’s hard work bringing up kids 😉

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

Society does, indeed, need rules in order to function. Parents do need to help their children understand how to treat others . . . and it IS hard work bringing up kids.

That said, as individuals, we do not need to stand “in judgment” of the actions of others, especially for every little minor infraction. We can let them “mind their own business.” 😉

32. Crowing Crone Joss - January 15, 2012

I guess my version of “the rule” is this: honour each person’s journey and say a blessing.”

nrhatch - January 15, 2012

Beautiful, Joss. That’s evident in your signature phrase, “Walk in beauty.” 😀

33. Theme | Crowing Crone Joss - January 15, 2012

[…] a common thread running through a variety of blogs.  Today I read All I Need to Know, followed by The Golden Rule is Tarnished, and then Absolutes, Bittersweet,  and Relief in Renunciation.  Each one of these posts, made me […]

34. Tilly Bud - January 16, 2012

I understood the Golden Rule to mean, ‘Be nice to others and they’ll be nice to you’, with the qualifier, ‘But if they aren’t, be nice anyway.’

I try to live by that. Sometimes, I succeed 🙂

nrhatch - January 16, 2012

That’s a great way to live, Tilly! If we were all a bit kinder than necessary, the world would be a better place.

35. spilledinkguy - January 16, 2012

Dana Carvey will be dancing through my head all day now!
🙂

nrhatch - January 16, 2012

He made an awesome “church lady.” 😉

36. Pocket Perspectives - January 16, 2012

Nancy…a very odd thing just happened…it ties in with your quote from this post…one of the people I’ve been saying it over and over about is a dearly loved close relative…one who lives mostly inside now…but sometimes still lives outside due to fear for safety inside, in a cold climate too…one who has had no peace of mind for the past 10 or more years… due to the mind not being okay…I made a post today about that wondering “why?” idea…similar to what you wrote about yesterday…and I’ve spent years trying to help/fix/understand the why of how such a sad thing could happen….and then, at the end of the post…well, if you read it you’ll see…it’s kind of odd timing…there must be another level to the “universe” that isn’t of the logical/rational common sense way I like to live… I shake my head in wonder…

nrhatch - January 16, 2012

I’ll be around straight away to read your post. Thanks for the heads up.

37. JannatWrites - January 16, 2012

I like the new Golden Rule. It makes sense to put the focus on us, instead of expecting others to reach our expectations. Instead of being judgemental of others’ shortcomings, we should bless, accept and move on.

nrhatch - January 16, 2012

It’s hard to do at times . . . our Ego wants us to be “right” and doesn’t care much about whether we are “happy.”

I find it easier and easier to just walk away from negative people and “allow them” to be their own worst enemy.

38. ceceliafutch - January 17, 2012

. . . And when the brokenhearted people
living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, LET IT BE.

For though [we] may be parted,
there is still a chance that [we] will see,
there will be an answer, LET IT BE.

. . . Whisper words of wisdom,
LET IT BE

—The Beatles

The more I think of it, I am not sure this fits exactly, but these are the first words that came to mind when I read your post.

nrhatch - January 17, 2012

“Let It Be” is a wonderful mantra for anything that is OUTSIDE our control . . . including the actions of others.

What we can control . . . our actions and attitude. Let it be. 😀


What Say YOU?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: