Drama! Drama! (Maggie Madly Writing) September 21, 2011
Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Humor, Mindfulness, People.trackback
Wikipedia ~ Hey Diddle Diddle (in Public Domain)
Are you in a perpetual state of heightened alert?
Do you find it necessary to share every pebble in your path with other sojourners?
Do you create mountains out of mole hills?
Are you constantly inviting others to make YOUR problem THEIR problem?
Do you feel that others should stop what they are doing to listen to your latest tale of woe?
If so . . . this post is for you!
I don’t enjoy being manipulated.
When I see bloggers over-react to minor set-backs, recounting each in excruciating detail to gain sympathy and support from passers-by on an too frequent-basis . . . I head straight for the exit sign.
If I want to watch Drama Queens in action, I’ll turn on Reality TV.
How about you? Do you ever tire of perpetual “drama queens” who insist on making their problems your problem?
Why do they do it?
Is it a narcissistic desire to be the center of attention? Or the mundane nature of their existence that causes them to inflate minor problems into “matters of life or death”?
Or is it “the mirror on the wall” that makes them so “needy”?
Related post: 7 Reasons to Press “Unsubscribe”
Quote to Ponder: When we have conquered the enemy within, there are no enemies left to conquer.
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Spirit Lights The Way 
I absolutely do get very tired of drama … I’m a self-confessed “worry wart”, but I try my best to keep it o myself!
I don’t mind someone with a “real” problem blogging about it . . . especially if they are open to proffered suggestions.
What I detest is the constant whining and moaning and complaining once it becomes clear that they just want to hear themselves whine and moan and complain ~ perhaps because they want to see if anyone will drop what they are doing to listen. Ack!
Also, once a problem is resolved . . . they should let it go!
We don’t need to hear about every “hangnail” they’ve survived as they continue to stumble over pebbles in their path. Unless sharing is going to help their readers deal with similar issues when they arise, I’d prefer them to focus on something else.
Aah. . . that’s better!
I watch out for those who do not feel alive unless they are in chaos. My boundaries fly up when there’s an attempt to hook me into their wild rides.
I have friends who are so busy that when they have a few minutes for a visit, busyness is all they talk about. One of the (busiest) women I mentor had to fly to the East Coast to help her son settle in his new University world. She had so much time that she sat in her hotel room playing computer games because she could not stand the stillness. She was honest enough to confess to feeling computered-out and hung-over from it the next morning.
There are plenty of people who love the “drama-ology” – I am not needed as a reader! Thanks be.
At first, my natural compassion makes me listen and make suggestions, encouraging them to “relax” and “slow down” and not get so worked up over anything, everything, and nothing.
To be patient, and let life unfold.
To breathe, relax, and repeat.
Then I start to get annoyed because they are, once again, asking me to stop doing something interesting to listen to their tedious recitation of all that is not as they wish it to be.
I get to the point that I want to scream, LET IT GO! Focus on something else. Stop whining, moaning, and complaining to anyone who will listen.
Lately, especially in the blogosphere (where we are as invisible as we choose to be), if I start reading a post that is nothing more than a laundry list of all the ways they’ve managed to “stub their toes” or get caught up in routine and mundane trivia that matters NOT . . . I leave without comment.
If they continue in the same vein, I unsubscribe.
Life is too short to waste my time on whiners how have PLENTY to be grateful for . . . even if they prefer to see the glass as half empty.
Not a fan of drama in real life (now I like to hear a funny dramatic tale, just not the continuous woe is me) nor do I enjoy being in the midst of drama or chaos…letting go of “friendships” with some drama queens/kings was perhaps one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
If they make if funny . . . truly funny . . . it’s a blast to read ~ because the focus is NOT just attracting attention to themselves and their paltry problems . . . they are striving to entertain their readers.
Sarsm did a post recently that had me in stitches:
http://sarsm.wordpress.com/2011/09/17/time-for-some-whineing/
So did Janna:
http://jannatwrites.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/sign-me-up-for-a-nap/
Both made for entertaining reads . . . followed by healthy commiseration.
Those types are quite funny…I don’t like the ones that people want everyone to feel sorry for them because the world is out to get them type things.
Keeping a healthy sense of humor about our daily frustrations is better for us . . . and better for our readers. 😆
Good food for thought Nancy. If I ever see you’re unsubscribed, I’ll know I whined too much about the garden!
I have yet to read one of your posts that caused me to run for the hills because of excessive whine . . . just the opposite, you encourage us to run for the hills to taste exquisite wine!
And whiskey!
And bourbon balls! 😉
You follow a stellar recipe for your blog!
I try to find a balance between empathy and common sense. Not always easy.
Empathy is great . . . if it inspires them to roll up their sleeves and make necessary changes to improve the situation.
My compassion always encourages me to offer them some positive support unless . . .
They keep raising the same issue, over and over and over again . . . because they are using the issue as an attention getting device rather than actually seeking to “fix their life.”
It gets O~L~D and it’s B~O~R~I~N~G. So I leave.
If my friends have problems.(.Drama Queen or not)…If I can help I will.
If not then get it sorted yourself is my reply…
Well, that’s part of the problem, Patrecia.
Most of the Drama Queens I know in the blogosphere aren’t really “friends” (because they are seeking unilateral adulation) AND they don’t really have problems that require assistance ~ they are just whining and complaining and moaning about water that’s long since passed over the dam.
They are just energy drains that deflate my enthusiasm for life.
I’m not talking about the occasional funny “grump” (like the one Sarsm’s shared) . . . those are a delight to read ~ and they fill me with gratitude for my own easy-peasy life. 😀
First I laughed, then I shuddered, then I wanted to whine but… I agree that the drama mamas and papas need to find another line of work or write a private journal with all the whining. 😆
I won’t unsubscribe from a blog for that reason though… my Catholic upbringing won’t let me… something about guilt. Oops! 😉
What would make me go sayonara is if I’m commenting endlessly on a fellow blogger’s blog and they barely visit my blog to say hello. I’ve had to do it a few times because, like you, I have many subscriptions and make the effort to comment daily (even going back to catch up when I’m away, ill or at a conference). If a fellow blogger doesn’t bother to visit and comment back, the message is that they don’t care… about our blog. 😦
The way I see it, blogging is about reciprocity and if the conversation stops at X’s house then what’s the point? If X can’t get out of bed to stop by and say hello then I slowly withdraw… I believe everyone has something to teach/share and we can support each other with a long/short comment. It’s not too much to ask. Sometimes I wonder if bloggers who don’t reciprocate think their posts are so brilliant that we are blinded by them and it’s okay for them to ignore our blogs… 😆
The truth is that I see all my blog buddies as brilliant and I enjoy reading their posts…. One thing I’m working to fix is replies to comments on my blog… I do catch up but sometimes it takes a while… yeah, I’m working on that one. 🙂
Great post Nancy! 8)
I agree. Unless I feel that a blog is so unique that I can’t get the same information anywhere else in the blogosphere (or in print publication), I get tired of reading, commenting, and supporting bloggers who don’t return the favor by visiting SLTW . . . at least once in a while. It’s like having a “friend” who only wants to talk about “me, me, me.”
And, of course, Drama Queens tend to lack the reciprocity gene. They are so busy whining about their issues . . . that they don’t have time to share the spotlight with anyone else.
You amaze me. Your “reciprocity gene” is always “on” . . . even when recovering from pneumonia.
Gosh! I got a bit carried away by those emoticons. Sheesh! See Nancy, it’s all your fault. lol!
I enjoyed reading through your comment and didn’t get distracted by the winks and smiles.
But when you stand back and look at it . . . 😉
Wanting to be the center of attention? Me? Never!
LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!
🙂
Hey! I remember you . . . we were at a baseball game and an intoxicatingly impaired individual stood between us the the game waving his arms while screaming, Look at ME! Look at ME!
He was escorted from the stadium . . . arms still flailing. 😉
In blogs…I send love to the ones about drama. maybe a comment but that is all. otherwise I am adding drama to drama.
in RL…there are 2 people I listen to that have drama.
but drama is tiring. on all parties.
thanks Nancy. another great post:):)
That’s what I shall remember to do . . . read the post, send them thoughts of loving kindness and peace, and be on my merry way.
Its really too bad that their isn’t an unsubscribe button in real life…
OMG! You made me laugh out loud. 😆
I recently told a real life “drama queen” (who kept resurrecting the same stale issue) that I am no longer willing to listen since she has done nothing to improve the situation. Very liberating.
I’m tired of “Drama Queens”.
Life has enough drama without what others add to it by making things bigger.
Agreed! I wonder if social media encourages people to put the spotlight on the minutia just so they have something to say?
I’ve seen people on Facebook talking about the most trivial of concerns ~ things that I can’t see them sharing in a face-to-face encounter around the water cooler.
That paradox of being “invisible” and highly visible at the same time?
I must have had a guilty conscience when I read this because I swore you wrote this post because of my last post. (Hmmm, maybe I’m just self-centered and the world revolved around me? ;))
I was relieved when I saw that mine came off as entertaining rather than dramatic, because that was the intent. I would rather people laugh at me than cry with me.
Since that’s out of the way, I have to tell you, I got the worst paper cut ever today. This wasn’t your average papercut…no, this paper had razor sharp edges. My finger must have bled for..blah….blah….blah…blah…
Bwahahaha! So sorry about your paper cut. 😆
You NEVER whine . . . you entertain. You make us laugh at your foibles and boibles and blahblahblahwuzzles. Glad you read the comments so that you could breathe once again.
Aah . . . that’s better.