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Teens and Tweens August 16, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness, Nature, People.

People often say that being a parent is the hardest (and most rewarding) job on the planet.

One of the many challenges faced by parents . . . raising adolescents:

Pluto-Rollerskating“Raising teenagers is like trying to nail jello to a tree.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Living with teens is as impossible as teaching a dog to roller skate.

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath. ~ Arnold H. Glasow

Adolescence is perhaps nature’s way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest. ~Karen Savage and Patricia Adams, The Good Stepmother

The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time.  They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.  ~ Quentin Crisp

We’ve enjoyed all the stages of development in our nieces and nephews ~ from tiny tots to toddlers to tweens and teens.

Our only regret . . . the years have passed far too fast.

No rules.  Just write!

How about you?

Are you currently raising teens or tweens?  Are you eyeing that phase of life with trepidation?  Or have you emerged unscathed?

Looking back, were you . . . Good tween?  Bad tween?  Or in between?


1. Cindy - August 16, 2011

I have put mine in a crate and mailed her to you. She should arrive around Thursday. Good luck, I sent Merlot too.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

That’s the best/funniest comment I’ve read all day!

How much Merlot? 😉

2. Judson - August 16, 2011

We still have a teenage daughter at home. I have two older boys who are now out on their own. Of the three, we worried about our middle son the most. And he turned out to be the one who handled it the best by far. There is no predicting!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

Right now you have a 100% batting average . . . that’s great.

The four of us (2 boys/2 girls) landed on our feet and hit the ground running.

As a teen, I was the most challenging. Because people often admonished, “Just wait until you have kids of your own,” I decided to forego the experience. Better safe than sorry.

Instead, we enjoyed our nieces and nephews in small doses. 😛

3. Piglet in Portugal - August 16, 2011

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath

Yep! Try telling your son to remember his condoms along with his house key!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

That is a conversation I’ll never have to have . . . I’m not sure if I’m relieved or disappointed. 😉

I remember when I learned about the facts of life as a pre-teen (about 11 years old) ~ I was HORRIFIED that my parents did THAT . . . four times.

4. Naomi - August 16, 2011

Brilliant quotes, Nancy, and especially Cin’s comment 😀 So glad my step-kids are way past this!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

The issues often are compounded with step-kids since blended families offer still more unique challenges.

Smoother sailing now, eh?

5. Rosa - August 16, 2011

I was a terrible teen! But I like to think I turned out alright!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

You seem A-OK to me! 😀

6. Patricia - August 16, 2011

I was—shall I say—I difficult teen. But I did learn some lessons that I have never forgotten—or repeated!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

I made some “stupid” choices as a teen too! Nothing with lasting consequences . . . but far from bright ideas. 😀

7. Carl D'Agostino - August 16, 2011

I’ll try to leave the details to your reasonable speculation . The divorce came when #1 was 2 1/2 and #2 was 1 1/2. I got custody when #1 was almost 14 and #2 was 12. In the 1990’s about half a dozen fathers in the state of Florida won their custody case so I will allow you to speculate why I was one of them. Miami Dade County and Broward to the north are drug and dope havens. I renamed them Suspect #1 and Suspect #2. I’ll allow you to speculate why. I have read many parent/teen posts . They don’t have a clue what it is like in the inner city dope holes because they live in nice white and safe Pleasant Town USA. Here a drive-by shooting is at least a twice a month occurance.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

You had me at . . . Suspect #1 and Suspect #2. 😉

Where is this “safe” Pleasant Town USA?

The more affluent the community, the more money and time the kids have to get in trouble. They’re a bit like Rock Stars and other highly paid personalities with easy access to drugs.

8. kateshrewsday - August 16, 2011

Teens are still an undiscovered country for us, Nancy. Erk.
Loved the Crisp quote…

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

You shall sail through with flying colors, I’m certain. If you can manage Macauley . . . you can manage two tweens and teens! 😀

9. Rufus' Food and Spirits Guide - August 16, 2011

Only one of our nieces or nephews has hit this phase. No kids in our house.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

No wonder you and Katherine have so much time to create fab meals and cocktails! 😀

10. souldipper - August 16, 2011

I have some in my life disguised as adults. 😀

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

Bwahaha! I know of what you speak. 😛

11. SuziCate - August 16, 2011

Laughing my butt off at Cindy’s comment!!!!

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

When OB arrives, I’m going to call you for pointers . . . on how to savor the Merlot without chugging it!

12. Maggie - August 16, 2011

I was nice as a teen. I never partied or did any kind of drugs or anything. Always obeyed my parents. I guess I was rather boring. 🙂

But I did make some stupid choices… I suppose we all do.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

Indeed, we do. It’s all part of growing up. 😀

13. hugmamma - August 16, 2011

i think i grew up right alongside my daughter…lots to learn…so little time in which to learn…sigh. 😉 mistakes made…corrected…made again…corrected…and so the cycle goes…

life…i suppose. 🙂

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

Mindful parents to learn from the children while teaching their children. Life is full of mistakes, isn’t it?

14. Booksphotographsandartwork - August 16, 2011

Cindy’s comment was too good! I have come through relatively unscathed. My youngest is 23. She is still a handful but she is always apologizing for being so bad as a teen. I’ll take it, thank you. She wasn’t really that bad but she sure was ornery.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

It’s hard not to be “ornery” as we start making decisions for ourselves ~ filtering through all manner of conflicting opinion.

BTW: Tomorrow’s post is the Zebra Valance. 😀

15. jannatwrites - August 17, 2011

Of course, I was the *perfect* teen. Never any trouble at all 😉

No teens in the house yet. Oldest one will be 9 this week, so I’ve got a few years. Time enough to figure out your address and do as Cindy has! (Brilliant idea, by the way.)

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

Of course you were! 🙂

I shall have to expand the villa . . . so that we all have plenty of S~P~A~C~E to roam around without stepping on each others “toes.”

16. Tilly Bud - August 17, 2011

My teens displayed similar behaviour to that in their toddlerdom – lots of ‘no!s’ and tantrums.

They are good boys, though. So far as we know 😉

Loved Cindy’s comment.

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

I see similarities between the “terrible twos” and the period of teen angst ~ one difference being that 2-year-olds have a smaller frame of reference.

They don’t say, “All my friends are going!”

Both are stages designed to foster a sense of independence, teaching them to march to the beat of their own drummer.

Glad you’re kids are good boys! 😀

17. misswhiplash - August 17, 2011

My three daughter’s teen years are long since past..trouble is that nobody had written a sensible book on how to cope with Teenagers. Even a book cannot tell you how to cope in some instances.

But what the heck….they survived and I survived so now we are all ok.
It is interesting watching my daughters deal with their own teenagers

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

How could a book hope to describe the essence within teens when they are as variable (and changeable) as they are?

The way will teach us the way . . . but we must LISTEN. 😀

Glad you all made it through those challenging years.

18. eof737 - August 17, 2011

We have emerged unscathed in that we rolled with the teen years and remembered our own.Teenage angst does dissipate over time and then… good grief, our teens become somewhat like their parents. 😆

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

My brothers followed a traditional path similar to our parents ~ big house, big yard, big salary, lots of kids and pets and promotions.

I don’t resemble my parents much ~ they’ve had a tough time understanding many of the decisions I’ve made in life.

That’s OK . . . it’s my life, not theirs. 😀

19. andalibmarks - August 17, 2011

I don’t have any kiddies of my own to torture and have torture me!
I say torture because I get the distinct feeling Karma is going to bite me in the ass and (one day) gift me a gorgeous child with as much rebelliousness, stubbornness and mischievousness (is that even a word?!) as me!!
Only time will tell, I guess!!

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

Precisely why I chose to remain child-free . . . I didn’t want to have to deal with a “mini me.” 😆

20. Tori Nelson - August 17, 2011

Oh no. I’m raising a toddler. It get’s worse? Haha!

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

Raise a child like Maggie or Janna or TillyB and you’ll be all set.

Steer clear of raising a child like Andi or me ~ difficult teens make the terrible twos seem like a walk in the park. 😉

21. Clar http://Clarbojahn.wordpress.com/ - August 17, 2011

Great post and comments. Loved it. :).
My late husband died when my boys were ten and fourteen, Just in time for their teens. Not something I want to relive.
They are now the most wonderful young men in the world. And I’m not being biased.

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

That’s wonderful, Clar. Not the untimely death of your husband, but the rest of it.

22. crumbl - August 19, 2011

I’m in a unique quandary. Never had kids of my own, but LRHG has two boys, so I’ve been on both sides of the fence. They’re now 24 and 21, and we still can’t tell them anything.

At least the younger one seems to listen, because suddenly, he’ll “come up with” an idea that’s remarkably similar to what we suggested to him, but, of course, it’s “his” idea, so he’ll try it.

If I’d had to go through this (and two pregnancies) for 25 years, not sure it would have been pretty. Now, we see them maybe once a month, and they appreciate more what we did for them before they moved out, so they’re happy to come visit (and eat … and eat … and … take leftovers home)

nrhatch - August 19, 2011

Good point . . . the best way to a teen’s heart is through their taste buds and tummy! 😀

Sit them down with some delicious food and talk about what needs to be addressed . . . as the food get inhaled, some of your wisdom will be sucked up too. 😉

23. Team Oyeniyi - August 19, 2011

As we are raising two teenagers (13 and nearly 17) with two more waiting in the wings ( 11 and nearly 9), we can expect the full gambit, I am sure.

I’ve already got two in their 30s, but this is all new to Dad! We’ll just go with the flow.

As I was on my own from 15, I guess I was a good teenager – I’m still alive, so I must have done something right!

nrhatch - August 19, 2011

Wow! You do have some challenges ahead. But given the challenges you’ve managed thus far, I suspect that you’ll sail through with flying colors. 😀

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