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The Husband Store August 14, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, People.
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Mickey-and-Minnie-kissIn the Big Apple, a specialty store opened for women in the market for husbands.

At the entrance, shopping instructions are posted:

* You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
* There are six floors.
* Merchandise value increases as shoppers ascend.
* Shoppers may choose a husband from any floor.
* Once you leave a floor, you may not return.
* Shoppers cannot go back down except to exit the building!

Last week, a friend of mine went to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door read:

Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs.

She continued to the second floor, where the sign read:

Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

Excited, she decided to check out the third floor:

Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thought, before continuing on her way.  On the fourth floor, the sign read:

Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Extremely Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy!” she exclaimed, “I can hardly stand it!”  Urged on by curiosity, she went to the fifth floor:

Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

Although tempted to stay and shop on the 5th Floor, she eventually continued up to the sixth floor, where the sign read:

Donald-Duck-LaughingFloor 6 – You are visitor 3,456,789 to this floor. There are no men on this floor ~ it exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Disappointed, my friend came home empty-handed.

* * * * *

After being sued for gender bias, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

Betty-BoopThe first floor has women that love sex.

The second floor has women that love sex, and enjoy watching sports and drinking beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

No rules.  Just write!

Source:  e-mail from an unknown author

Comments»

1. barb19 - August 14, 2011

Haha, that was so funny! Thanks for the laugh just as I am switching off and going to bed!

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Yay! I got the “last laugh” from Barb tonight! 😀

2. Maggie - August 14, 2011

Excellent!

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

It’s a pretty funny joke . . . due to its “astute” social commentary. 😛

3. andalibmarks - August 14, 2011

Thanks for the tip! WHEN I find that store, I’ll know when to stop and shop!
Hahaha!!
So good, thanks, Nancy!
*#*

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Happy hunting. Oops . . . happy shopping. 😀

4. misswhiplash - August 14, 2011

Are they thinking of expanding?

Not that I would want to change what i have got even though he has not got all the accomplishments of the men on floor 4

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

I wouldn’t trade mine ~ he’s got all the attributes I desire in a life companion . . . especially a great sense of humor! 😀

5. Tilly Bud - August 14, 2011

ROFL!! Brilliant! You know what’s coming next…please can I use them on my blog?

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Yes, spread the laughs! 😆

6. brainrants - August 14, 2011

I’d tend to think that the 2nd floor wouldn’t get a lot of traffic either, but that’s just me. Great posting.

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Easy to please, eh? 😛

7. Rosa - August 14, 2011

Brilliant!!! Hahahahaha I love it!

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Glad you enjoyed! 😀

8. Penny - August 14, 2011

That was hilarious !!! Very goood !!

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Glad it tickled your funny bone. It did mine. 😀

9. Joanne - August 14, 2011

I’ve seen this one before, and it’s even funnier now, because as I go through life still single after “shoping” on at least three online dating sites, I realize that I would be one of those women who would shop till I dropped ~ still going home empty-handed…

My conclusion: If the best things in life are free, then stop shopping and just wait for a gift to come my way… It may be delusional, but it works to keep me sane ;-D In the meantime, I keep watching those unrealistic romantic comedies…

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

BFF meets my top three criteria: (1) a great sense of humor; (2) fun to be around; and (3) does housework, cooking, and laundry.

If he was drop dead gorgeous, I’d have to keep him on a shorter leash. 😛

Joanne - August 15, 2011

Drop dead gorgeous usually comes with a whole lot of other baggage… That was never on my “shopping list” either.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

A sense of humor and someone I can talk to is far more important than someone who looks grand with little more to offer. 😉

But the whole package is nice if you can find it.

10. MercXue - August 14, 2011

That was a real treat. I put a smile on my face on a dreary day.

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Glad you enjoyed. Sorry you’ve had a dreary day.

11. earlybird - August 14, 2011

Love this! 🙂

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Yay! Glad it made you smile. 😀

12. Rufus' Food and Spirits Guide - August 14, 2011

Hee, hee. That’s all this guy’s gonna say.

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Wise man! 😀

13. Paula Tohline Calhoun - August 14, 2011

THAT IS BRILLIANT!!! DId you write it, or did you find it somewhere else in the blogosphere? I might just steal this one for my FB page? If you wrote it I’ll give you credit. (I will even if you didn’t!) Thanks for this one!

My Mom had a sign on her refrigerator for years:

“I know my husband is smarter than I am. After all, I was dumb enough to marry him – and he was smart enough to marry me1 ”

:LOL:

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Glad you enjoyed!

I didn’t write it ~ I just did some editing. As indicated at the bottom, I got it in an e-mail with no author identified.

Feel free to use it as you wish.

14. adeeyoyo - August 14, 2011

Oh Nancy – LMAO – Brilliant one! No, two!!!

nrhatch - August 14, 2011

Yay! Glad you got a kick out of it, Denise! 😀

15. jeanne - August 14, 2011

And then my husband said, “that’s what I’m talking about!” LOL!

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Glad you enjoyed. 😀

16. jannatwrites - August 15, 2011

I’d seen the husband store a while ago, but the wife store was new. Sadly, there is some truth to this. Curiosity would’ve gotten to me and I would’ve ended up on the sixth floor. Good thing I’m already married 🙂

I won’t admit this to my husband, but men are easier to please. I’d never hear the end of that one!

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Maybe men are “easier to please” because they don’t see the commitment in the same way ~ women are encouraged to shop for someone to “protect” them, and men are shopping for someone to protect ~ and any old sex kitten will do. 😉

17. Sandra Bell Kirchman - August 15, 2011

Very funny. I agree with Joanne. I wasn’t shopping; heck, I wasn’t even looking, and along came my husband. He fits on a floor all his own, but one of his big attributes is that he is a better cook than I am. I wonder why men don’t consider that a sexy attribute. I think it is enormously attractive 😉

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Early on, I did “all” the cooking. Now we take turns and it’s ever so much nicer! 😀

18. Vix @ LittleMissEverything - August 15, 2011

:)!

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

😉

19. flyinggma - August 15, 2011

I love that we grow in our relationships. That they change over time. My husband is a much better husband than the wonderful man I married 28 years ago. I hope that I am a better wife. We are more in tune to each others needs and what makes the other happy.

Love the husband store. I wonder what would be on my kid’s list as all four are still unmarried and not in relationships….Still shopping!

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Same here ~ our relationship has changed in many ways since we got married 27 years ago.

We see each other as we are ~ no games, no artifice, just “real” interaction. It’s wonderful!

20. Naomi - August 15, 2011

LOL!! This is too brilliant for words, thanks Nancy!! OMG, but I appreciate my husband 😀

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Me too!

Happiness is being married to your best friend. BFF and I live, love, laugh, and learn together. 😀

It doesn’t get any better than that.

21. viviankirkfield - August 15, 2011

Many of us have heard this before in different forms…but funny is funny is funny! Thank you so much, Nancy…we all need smiles and this is sure to put one on almost anyone’s face. 🙂 I’m forwarding this to my sister who will roll on the floor!

nrhatch - August 15, 2011

Picturing your sister rolling on the floor is making me laugh. 😆

22. Julie - August 16, 2011

Too funny! And with more than a grain of truth.

nrhatch - August 16, 2011

Glad you enjoyed . . . or as Yoda would say, “enjoy, did you?”

23. eof737 - August 17, 2011

ROTFLOL! This is hysterical and I love it… so typical of men to linger on the 2nd floor… sucking teeth and rolling eyes. 😆

nrhatch - August 17, 2011

Laugh, did you? 😀

24. crumbl - August 19, 2011

The third floor should feature supermodels who love sex, like drinking beer and watching sports, with a rich father who’s about to pass away and leave everything to his little princess. Just a thought for expansion. 🙂

I disagree that all men think “any old sex kitten will do”, but I do agree that a sense of humour, compatible personalities and being able to communicate (not just talk, although that’s good too) trump looks any time.

I’m lucky in that I think my LRHG is gorgeous, but luckier still in that we enjoy each other’s company, share common interests and tastes (okay, I like raw oysters and she doesn’t), are friends as well as lovers.

nrhatch - August 19, 2011

Good points, Crumbl. To me, a shared sense of humor and common interests makes for happier days and nights.

Some of the “sex kittens” men pant after are about as interesting as chatting with an inflatable doll ~ dumb bunnies, indeed.
They are better than an inflatable doll in one respect . . . they won’t *pop* 😉


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