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If You Want To Be Free, Be Free August 6, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Mindfulness, Music & Dance, People, Spirit & Ego.
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Donald-Duck-BaseballThe masks we wear belong to our glorious Ego.

Ego wants to protect “us” from scorn and ridicule and have others admire and praise our accomplishments, no matter how modest.

As a result of its inherent insecurity, Ego is easily influenced by the opinions of others.

It wants attention and recognition.  It wants to be admired.  It wants to be in control.  It wants to be right.  If we use the Ego (and its fear of ridicule) as a reference point, its desires cause us to become self-conscious.

In addition, Ego’s desire for approval, power, control, and certainty may cause thoughts to spiral out of control, destroying our happiness and peace of mind.

Spirit waits patiently in the wings to restore our peace of mind, encouraging us to go with the flow.

Spirit’s willingness to accept the “what is” allows us to remain calm and serene in the midst of conflict and strife.

When we become less concerned with what others think about us, and focus more on what we want out of life, we begin to discard our masks, or don them less frequently.

Mickey-DiverIf we feel like singing, we sing.

If we feel like dancing, we dance.

We allow others to see our essence, our core, and our Spirit.

We begin to let our true light shine!

If you want to sing out, sing out. If you want to be free, be free. There’s a million ways to be . . . you know that there are. ~ Cat Stevens

Related posts: Actors on the Stage of LifeMaintaining Perspective * Zig-Zagging to the Zenith * Spiritual Milestones * The Choice is Ours

Comments»

1. adeeyoyo - August 6, 2011

Does it follow that the most insecure people are likely to wear their masks more than confident people?

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

My thoughts:

People who are self-conscious (feeling that everyone is looking at them) wear masks more often than those who follow the WYSIWYG approach to life.

Many “confident” people are wearing a mask ~ they want to be perceived by others as if they are “in control.”

People who are “comfortable in their own skin” stop wearing masks ~ they realize that how others perceive them is largely irrelevant (since it has more to do with the observer than with the observee).

If we stop worrying about our reputations with others . . . we free ourselves to be exactly who we want to be.

adeeyoyo - August 7, 2011

That is exactly it! (your last para)

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

Simple concept, difficult to put into practice . . . since few of us live on desert islands.

2. Debra - August 6, 2011

Yay! Sing out if you want to…! I love it.

Thank Nancy….I will be dancing…anytime…anywhere…and enjoy doing so..virtual hugs:)

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

I’m heading across the street to a Farmer’s Market. A Steel Drum Band is playing. I shall dance! 😀

3. CMSmith - August 6, 2011

You’d love my sister. She sings and dances whenever and wherever she likes. She’s a breath of fresh air.

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

She sounds terrific! When the mood moves me . . . I sing, laugh, and dance as if no one is watching (even in the midst of a crowded room).

Life is too short to wear a straight-jacket just to please others. 😀

4. SuziCate - August 6, 2011

I tend to embarrass my family at times when I let the restrainst go and am my childish self, however I know better than to sing in public! (If you ever heardme, you’d thank me for NOT singing!) I think those who know me best without my mask (yes, I admit I wear one at times) wonder when I’ll ever grow up, but I must say most times I truly enjoy life!

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

I am prone to dancing in the grocery store (if they are piping in suitable music). Usually people smile and laugh WITH me . . . feeling just a bit freer to be who they want to be. Some scowl in my direction, obvious in their resentment that I feel FREE enough to just be. (I make faces at them behind their backs). 😛

5. kateshrewsday - August 6, 2011

there’s that saying: “in the zone”.
Sometimes I ‘m authentic and true to myself, and everything feels natural; Everything’s resonating right. sometimes I’m less authentic and feel phoney. but that time alone and silent goes a long way to making me more the former, less the latter.
Lots of food for thought today, Nancy.

6. kateshrewsday - August 6, 2011

(Sorry for typos! Travelling up the M4 with an iPad which has a mind of its own!)

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

Other than a few missing capitals, your “typos” aren’t jumping out at me. I’m impressed with your facility on an iPad while traveling on the M4. Please tell me that you are NOT the one driving. 😉

I’m the same. I am only happy if I feel I am being true to myself. If I try to “fool” others by being someone I’m not, it makes me so uncomfortable that I stop ~ even if a roomful of people thought better of me (playing a part), it would not counterbalance me feeling less like myself.

Mask off . . . aah, that’s better. 😀

kateshrewsday - August 7, 2011

Precisely.
And Phil was driving 😀

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

It’s good to have a designated driver. 😀

7. Piglet in Portugal - August 6, 2011

I only care what another person thinks of me if I have respect for that person.

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

Same here, with one proviso ~ I only respect people who accept me as I am. If someone wants me to change who I am to suit them or live up to their expectations . . . I am happy to disappoint them. 😀

Piglet in Portugal - August 7, 2011

That is true but I am talking re. constructive comments 🙂

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

Gotcha!

8. souldipper - August 6, 2011

I LOVE my ego. There, think that will fool it into submission? Fat chance, right?

Thanks for Cat Stevens this morning, Nancy. Hope you are out there dancing up those bones and airing the folds. Well, maybe you don’t have any of those! 😀

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

I have a “pet name” for my Ego . . . Silly Rabbit. 😉

This video just makes me smile ~ the song, the kids dancing and smiling, the freedom. Aah . . . that’s better.

I did do some dancing to the Steel Drum Band, and went on a boat ride and pedicab tour. FUN morning.

9. Carl D'Agostino - August 6, 2011

I try to look at ego from 2 perspectives. First there is the ego which is merely our personality. Then there is the ego of arrogance which may be a trait of personality. Does this make sense to you?

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

Yes, it makes sense to me.

Everyone (over a certain age) has an ego (impacting how they relate to and interact with the world) . . . but they are NOT all arrogant and egotistical.

10. Tahlia Newland - August 6, 2011

A lovely reminder. Thanks. Makes me wonder why I want the ‘stamp of approval’ of a trad publishing deal???

nrhatch - August 6, 2011

Well, one nice thing about a traditional publishing deal is that the publisher knows all about the in and outs of getting your book “out there” . . . augmented by your own marketing effort.

To me, it’s similar to the distinction to hiring an attorney to represent you (utilizing his or her specialized training and expertise) and representing yourself.

That said, if you can’t find an interested publisher . . . the landscape is definitely changing so that self-publishing is more viable than it used to be.

Whatever works for you is the way to go. Good luck!

11. jannatwrites - August 7, 2011

Your posts on ego are fun (and thought-provoking.) I’m finding that as I age, ego shrinks. I care less and less what others expect of me or think of me.

I like to see spontaneous people. There’s this one lady in church who dances in the aisles during the worship songs. I like her enthusiasm, although I’m not the dance-in-the-aisles type of girl myself.

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

Thanks, Janna. I expect that many people are less motivated by ego concerns as they age and grow “wiser.” Yet some never seem to outgrow the need for external applause and recognition (or the fear of public humiliation) ~ think Michael Douglas in Wall Street . . . feeding his Ego with sex, power, greed.

The key to spontaneity is to let “the spirit” move you ~ to let go and go with the flow. Be who YOU are ~ if you dance at home when no one’s watching, feel “free” to do that when you’re out and about. If you don’t dance at home when no one’s watching, don’t feel “compelled” to dance in public just to prove a point.

I’ve been a “dance in the aisles” girl since my mom pushed me around the store in the grocery cart. I would sing and dance and groove to the tunes. And laugh. I liked to laugh. 😀

12. Sandra Bell Kirchman - August 7, 2011

I look at the Ego as the one steering the ship. However, Ego has two very important advisors…on one side is the devil (representing negative energy surrounding Ego) and the other is an angel (or Spirit – representing the positive, free energy around Ego). In any situation, Ego asks for advice from her advisors. After listening to them both, Ego makes a choice. The resulting action depends on who Ego listens to…and why.

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

I’ve seen that imagery depicted in cartoons . . . with a devil whispering into one ear and an angel in the other ~ the technique was used very effectively in the movie Animal House. 😛

Using your imagery, I see Ego as the “devil” ~ a toddler in the throes of the terrible twos who uses tantrums to get what it wants when it wants it. Once we step into our primary role of silent witness or observer, we are no longer held hostage to Ego and its tantrums.

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

Of course, using your imagery, the “angel” can also be the Ego ~ encouraging us to please others with our actions to increase the esteem in which we are viewed by them:

What would your mother/father/sister/minister think?

Ego is tricky like that.

13. earlybird - August 7, 2011

Did you see the film ‘Harold and Maude’ which used this song and was all about finding and being yourself without care as to ‘what other people think’. It was an unusual and great film.

I’m afraid I’ve often embarassed my children by my spontaneous outbursts of song or dance… 🙂

nrhatch - August 7, 2011

Yes, I loved the movie. Quirky, fun, feel good. The Cat Stevens song is why I rented the movie.

BFF used to get embarrassed too ~ worried about what “they” thought. So I asked: “Why would you care more about what THEY think than how I FEEL? You’ll likely never see them again.”

He’s not ready to dance in the aisles with me . . . but he no longer tries to stop me from dancing. 😀

14. eof737 - August 9, 2011

So true… we gotta be who we gotta be… life is too short to spend it fretting over every thing. 😉

nrhatch - August 9, 2011

When we stop worrying about who THEY think we are . . . we see more clearly who we are. And that’s a good thang! 😉

15. nrhatch - August 11, 2011

Dear Ego-ologist:

Your comment (which I have chosen NOT to post) said:

My dear,

May I ask you once more
What is Ego?
Have a nice day.
Thanks.

If you’re interested in my thoughts on Ego, just type “Ego” into the Search Bar and scroll through the many, many, many articles addressing the topic of Ego.

Have a nice day!


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