What If? What If? What If? July 22, 2011Posted by nrhatch in Magick & Mystery, Mindfulness.
Excited by the secrets and mysteries of the Universe, I attempted to share what I’d learned with others.
Rather than embracing the information, family and friends (and many casual acquaintances) expressed reservations, doubt, and skepticism . . . completely rejecting the message I wished to share.
We do not always see eye to eye with those around us. Our unique experiences in life factor into how we perceive the world. That does not make them “right” and us “wrong,” or vice versa. We view the world from different vantage points ~ we see the world behind our eyes.
People who are close to us have a vested interest in having us stay exactly as we are ~ if we listen to them, rather than embracing change, we stagnate.
We don’t need to justify our beliefs or defend our lifestyle choices to the skeptics in our lives. Only you know what makes sense for you.
Do that. Be that.
After all, if you don’t live your life, who will?
And, now, back to the regularly scheduled programming:
More pragmatic than spiritual, my father attempted to refute my claims, using logic and reason. He argued with me about my beliefs, ignored my observations, and rejected my experiences, while (I suspect) harboring considerable concern about my mental health and well-being.
His reaction didn’t surprise me.
My father relies on logic and reason, not inner wisdom, to help him solve problems ~ many do. Of course, sometimes logic is just “an organized way of going wrong with confidence.”
The more I talked about Spirit Lighting The Way, the more resistant he became to that notion ~ not out of malice, but due to parental and paternal concern that, if I continued to follow Spirit, I would eventually fall off the edge of the cliff without a safety net.
At times, I admit, I shared his concerns.
Doubts surfaced. Fear took hold and spread its sinuous roots. Worry about money crept into my thoughts:
What if I’m wrong? What if he’s right? What if I never figure out what I really want to do with my life?
What if we run out of money? What if? What if? What if?
One night, while washing dishes, I began thinking that I should return to the practice of law until I figured out what I wanted to do next ~ juries loved me, I earned good money, and I enjoyed the intellectual challenge offered by each new case.
Intellectually, logically, rationally, it made sense to return to litigation.
Spiritually, it did not.
Returning to the profession would have provided financial security, while exacting a high price ~ the continual erosion of my peace of mind.
Nevertheless, I rationalized taking a step backwards: I’ll just go back for a short time. Just until I figure out what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I’ll just earn enough to set aside some savings . . .
Mid-thought, the still silent voice within piped up . . . 307.
Wait . . . what?
In response, Spirit repeated . . . 307.
That’s it ~ just 307. Hmm . . .
Rolling the number around in my mind, I realized that the Universe wanted me to buy a lottery ticket, something that I had never done.
I didn’t even know where to buy a lottery ticket . . . but I knew someone who did.
“Hey, BFF, I need you to buy me a lottery ticket . . . ”
“The lottery already went off tonight.”
“Then it’s tomorrow night’s number,” I replied with certainty.
Sure enough. The next night’s winning number . . . 307.
The monetary pay-off was small, but the message was clear, to me at least: Stop worrying about the money.
As an added bonus, that winning lottery ticket finally got my dad’s attention ~ sometimes money speaks louder than words . . . even when those words are being whispered by Spirit.
Then he asked, “Well, how much did you win?”
“Dad, that’s not the point. The point is that Spirit does not want me to return to the practice of law solely for the money.”
“Sure. Sure. But how much did you win?'”
“Three hundred dollars and change.”
“Well, that’s not enough to pay the mortgage . . . ”
“I know, Dad. Spirituality is not a get-rich-quick scheme. The Universe just wants me to relax and stop worrying about the money. Spirit wants me to let go of Ego’s fear and doubt long enough to let life unfold.”
What if spirituality IS a get-rich-quick scheme?
Hmm . .
When we know what we cannot know . . . we’ve seen a glimpse beyond the veil.
No rules. Just write!
Related posts: Sidey’s Weekend Theme ~ What If? * What If? (The Only Cin) * What if? (View from the Side) * If (Kate Shrewsday) * What If? (PTC) * What If? (Yellow House Cafe) * The Gift of Synchronicity * Synchronicity & Mystery * A Beacon in the Dark * Are You OK Right Now? * The Logic of Inconsistency