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How To Clean The Garage July 20, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Home & Garden, Humor, Less IS More.
36 comments

Mickey-Ta-DaaaLife is journey.  Enjoy it.

Sure, there will be things that you have to do, either for yourself or for your loved ones.

But there is fun to be found in even the simplest of chores.

Cleaning the garage, for example.

Even if you’re cool with tools, debris, and dead rodents cluttering your workbench,  you will need to clean the garage on  occasion to satisfy more discerning family members.  To avoid being asked to do it on the wrong day, be proactive:

1.  Wait for a gorgeous day.  Preferably a day when you were going to be roped into helping with other more onerous chores.

2.  Set the stage:  “Hey, hon, the garage is looking a bit like the town dump.  I think I’ll head out there and straighten up.”  You don’t even have to see her face to know that she is smiling.

3.  Gather the essential tools that you will need: lawn chairs, an empty cooler, and a small TV.  Set up the lawn chairs in the yard, close to the garage.  Fill the cooler with a few brews.  Unplug the garage refrigerator so you can defrost it  and use the chunks of ice to keep cooler cold while you work.   Don’t worry that the TV doesn’t have a remote ~ you’re close enough to the screen to change channels as easy as pushing buttons on your cell phone.

4.  Speaking of cell phones, call your friends.  Invite them over to help you clean the garage.  Assure them that each of their garages will receive the same time and attention in coming weeks.

When your pals arrive, offer them a beer and sit down to watch some golf.

5.  During commercials, instead of switching channels without a remote (which has quickly gotten old), head into the garage and straighten things up.  Move the clutter around so that it’s more organized.  Get your friends to move the heavy stuff.   If they protest, remind them that you fed their fat cat when they went to Florida.  Sweep up the leaves and debris.

6.  Give your friends’ stuff back to them.

7.  As the garage floor begins to emerge, and shelves stop sagging under the weight of clutter, take longer and more frequent breaks.  If your wife or kids come to check up on you, head for the garage the moment you hear the door squeaking on its hinges.  Never oil those hinges.  They are an alert to get back to work.

At the end of the day, your wife is happy because the garage is clean, and she didn’t have to vacuum around you.  You’re psyched because you didn’t have to spend the day inside cleaning toilets . . . and you found your missing  ratchet.   Your friends feel like kids who got out of school for a snow day because they spent the day outside drinking beer and watching golf.

As your friends leave, hand them each a bag of garbage, and remind them to call you when they are ready to clean out their garages.

No rules.  Just write!

Related posts:  Clearing Clutter * Want Less Clutter?  Buy Less Stuff * Simplify Your Life * Woman Found Dead Amid Clutter * Enough Already!