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Who I Am . . . Is Who I Want To Be May 17, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Mindfulness.

When we are comfortable in our own skin, we more easily shrug off the opinions of others with respect to how we should live our lives.

We stop using an external yardstick to measure our worth to the world.

Jealousy and envy of others falls to the wayside because we know that we would not step wholesale into anyone else’s shoes . . . leaving our own behind.

Instead of looking to others for guidance on what to be, say, think, and do, we look within and develop the “best” of our unique talents, skills, and abilities.

We realize the goal of life is not to be better than anyone else . . . but to be better than our previous self.

With our increased self-acceptance, we are able to say, with confidence and conviction, Who I Am . . . Is Who I Want To Be.

Quote:  Why do we put off living the way we want to live, as if we have all the time in the world?  ~ Barbara de Angelis

No rules.  Just write!

Related posts:  The Danger of Constant Comparisons (Mirth & Motivation) * Baby, I was Born This Way (Little Miss Everything) * Getting A Grip In The Mud (Water Witch’s Daughter) * Battling Boggarts Part II (Woman Wielding Words) * My Life in 250 Words * Let Billow Your Sails


1. Tilly Bud - May 17, 2011

It is a good feeling to be comfortable in your own skin.

But it’s also good to be prodded now and then 🙂

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Thanks, Tilly. I suppose it depends on who’s doing the prodding.

People prone to prodding others often know what THEY would do if they were in my shoes . . . but they rarely know what I should do. 😀

2. Cindy - May 17, 2011

Just trying to be the best me I can be. Good morning.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

When we pursue our purpose with passion . . . and our passions with purpose . . . we achieve spectacular results.

3. vixter2010 - May 17, 2011

So true, we need to love ourselves and be the person we want to be not what we think others want. Thanks for the link too!

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Thanks, Vixter.

Several posts, yours included, have touched upon these issues lately. The need for us to accept ourselves “as is” before we can push ourselves to become more fully who we were always intended to be.

4. judson - May 17, 2011

I just aspire to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am …

— Judson

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Dogs are grand to use as external yardsticks and measures of our worth. They don’t care about our status, power, or wealth . . . they care about our hearts!

5. run4joy59 - May 17, 2011

well said…I find I’m more comfortable with who I am now than at any other time in my life…hmm…does this have something to do with getting older?

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

I don’t think just growing older causes the shift. I know plenty of people much older that me that are still far too concerned with what others think of them ~ they won’t even check books on happiness out of the library due to concern about their reputation with the librarians. 😀

I think that the shift from “external ego gratification” to “spiritual self-accetpance” comes if we start to examine the question “Who Am I?”

Once we realize that we are not the car we drive, the house we live in, or the clothes we wear, we begin to look askance at anyone who uses those status symbols as measurements of our worth.

As the phony measurements fall away, the “real” emerges and we nod knowingly.

6. Baxter Bunny - May 17, 2011

Perfectly said! Today I will be who I want to be which is who I am and I’m just fine.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Go BB! I agree.

Once we accept who we are, we are inspired to become the best we can be. We shift from self-defeating behavior (like eating too much and exercising too little) to more positive choices (like remembering to laugh . . . every day). And that fuels us to become better still.

7. carldagostino - May 17, 2011

The yardstick employment is a conundrum for me. If I use an internal one I am apt to self justification without the objective measurement or guidelines of the external. If I use the external yardstick, value may be imposed upon me that may not be legitimate or have varyings degrees of truth relative to the moral compass of different cultures.The avenues of consideration begins to multiply exponentially. I have not figured it out.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Maybe this will clarify:

If I had put “leaving the law” up for a vote by my closest friends and family, I would still be practicing law ~ unhappily.

For those not privy to the internal commotion it caused, continuing to practice law seemed the “safest” thing to do. I knew better because I felt the growing discord inside.

We are the only expert on our life.

8. suzicate - May 17, 2011

Though I am still hard on myself at times (it keeps me in check!), I am quite comfortable with who is beneath my skin. Judson is right on…if I can only be as good as my dog believes I am!

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Dogs are a good yardstick to use. 😀

I encourage myself to “do better” . . . but I no longer beat myself up about the little things. Progress, not perfection.

Greg Camp - May 17, 2011

I rely on my cats to tell me how I’m doing. They know what the real priorities in life are–taking care of them.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Cats rule!

9. Shannon Sullivan - May 17, 2011

Thank you for sharing this Nancy … I love reading these inspirations … they always seem to show up at the appropriate times for me. 😉

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

Isn’t it wonderful when our attention is directed exactly where it needs to be. 😀

Here’s to synchronicity!

10. kateshrewsday - May 17, 2011

Comfortable in your own skin: a lovely place to be.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

It is. It took me years to get to this comfy, cosy place . . . but it was worth it! 🙂

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Carlos Castaneda

11. Maggie - May 17, 2011

Ah, jealousy always plagues me, but I’m trying to shake it off and get comfortable being the way I am.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

What helped me, asking a simple question:

“Would I switch EVERYTHING about my life to step into their life?”

The answer for me was always a resounding NO. So I stopped being jealous and focused on making the most of MY life.

Rosa - May 17, 2011

That’s a great way to look at things! It’s like Eliz’s duck story from yesterday! Jealousy is pointless, and often we don’t even know the whole story…

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

So true, Rosa.

For anyone who hasn’t read the duck story, it’s the first post linked above ~ The Danger of Constant Comparisons.

12. Paula Tohline Calhoun - May 17, 2011

And, sometimes part of being comfortable in my own skin is recognizing that a little molting might be in order! 😀

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

I am so glad that we don’t have to shed our skins like snakes or molt like lobsters.

Ewwww . . . . 😉

13. clarbojahn - May 17, 2011

“We realize the goal of life is not to be better than anyone else . . . but to be better than our previous self.” well said. Thanks for that. Love the song, too.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

That is a very liberating realization to have, or at least it has been for me.

I no longer feel “vain” or “bitter” when I see others with differing gifts . . . I just need to focus on making my life the best IT can be.

My nieces introduced me to this song after I took them to Universal to hear Natasha. Such a great reminder to make the most of who we are.

14. Amy @ Soul Dipper - May 17, 2011

“To thine own self be true.” It’s been a good, long journey, but it sure feels like home when I live it. Thankfully I don’t need a hammer to be here. For others or me!

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

I agree. The more that I honor my essential self, the happier I become about who I am.

15. Patricia - May 17, 2011

To be just who you are without excuse or explanation is a gift. Everybody is offered this gift but lots leave it wrapped up all pretty and miss the treasure inside. So sad.

nrhatch - May 17, 2011

So true. It pays to remember that we do NOT need a permission slip to live our life.

16. jeanne - May 18, 2011

With our increased self-acceptance, we are able to say, with confidence and conviction, Who I Am . . . Is Who I Want To Be. Perfectly said!

nrhatch - May 18, 2011

Thanks, Jeanne. It’s a nice place to be. 😎

17. adeeyoyo - May 18, 2011

Congratulations and THANK YOU for such a great post, Nancy!

nrhatch - May 18, 2011

Thanks, Adee. Onwards and upwards!

18. eof737 - May 18, 2011

“We realize the goal of life is not to be better than anyone else . . . but to be better than our previous self.” I concur. We can live our best lives if we stop looking across the aisle. 🙂

nrhatch - May 18, 2011

Ooh, I like that “if we stop looking across the aisle.” So true.

Envy and jealousy are such a waste of time and energy ~ “be all that you can be.” 😀

19. CMSmith - May 18, 2011

There must be something in this message for me. It is the second thing I’ve read today that talked about criticism tearing people down.

I’ll think on it. Thanks for the post.

nrhatch - May 18, 2011

When we accept ourselves “as is” . . . we’re less affected by those who aren’t “fans.” 😉

20. jannatwrites - May 19, 2011

You already know I’m a “work in progress,” so I won’t bore you with those details 😉 I absolutely loved this sentence:

“We realize the goal of life is not to be better than anyone else . . . but to be better than our previous self.”

nrhatch - May 19, 2011

We are, all of us, “in progress.” One thing that helps is to learn to rely on an internal reference point for guidance.

Instead of asking 10 people and getting 10 answers, we learn to look within and ask, “What next?”

When we see life as the experiential playland that it is, and we realize that we are here to be happy, life stops being a matter of “life and death” and becomes FUN again. 😀

21. kateshrewsday - May 19, 2011

Fab. Life is simply not about about competition. Although it took me forty years to realise that properly.

nrhatch - May 19, 2011

Same here. It’s no wonder it takes us so long to realize, given that:

We’re encouraged to complete for a bigger piece of the pie. We’re encouaraged to “get ahead” and accumulate symbols of our status. We’re trained to enter the rat race and run with one eye looking over our shoulder at all the other “rats.”

And all that “healthy competition” causes us to compare and contrast our lives with others instead of just enjoying our own.

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