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Do Snorkologists Really Exist? May 14, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Nature, Word Play.
32 comments

Have you ever heard of a “snorkologist”?

We did today at lunch while watching a show on Luxury Hotels in the Caribbean.  I think “snorkologist” is just a made up name to make someone who snorkels for a living seem more important.

From the Caneel Bay Resort website:

Caneel Bay offers some of the most extraordinary snorkeling found in the Caribbean from the launch point of its seven pristine, powder-white beaches. Guests are invited to explore on their own or with a private snorkeling session led by the resident “Snorkologist.”

Guests are sure to be amazed by the vast array of fish found off of Caneel Bay’s coast including: doctor fish, parrot fish, porcupine fish, angel fish, yellowtail snapper and trigger fish. They might even be fortunate enough to spot a school of squid or an octopus.

See what I mean?

Even the hotel puts “snorkologist” in quotes.   

* * * * *

Pluto-HappyLast night, the owners of the Back Alley treated everyone to FREE pizza!

I found a round of pepperoni on my slice and looked around for a dog who might enjoy it.

Spotting two, I wandered over and offered the tidbit to the dog’s caregiver.

She took the pepperoni and I walked back to BFF:

“What were you doing?”

“I found a piece of pepperoni on my pizza and gave it to her.”

“Do you know her?”

“No, but I didn’t want to throw the pepperoni away.”

“What did you say to her?”

“I don’t know.  I just held out the pepperoni and asked her if she wanted it.”

“And she took it?!”

“Yup.”

“That’s weird.”

Realizing that BFF didn’t see the dogs, I kept a straight face and said, “Why do you say that?”

Rolling his eyes at my perceived density, he said, “If a perfect stranger came up and offered you a piece of pepperoni, would you take it?”

“Of course not.  I’m a vegetarian.”

“You know what I mean.  Would you take a piece of stray meat  from a stranger?”

“I might.”

“You would not!”

“If I had a dog, I would.”

“Well, of course, if . . . ”

With that, the lightbulb went off ~ BFF glanced over, saw the dogs, and burst out laughing.

Things are not always as they first appear.

No rules.  Just write!

An Incredible & Edible “Bug” May 14, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Food & Drink, Nature, Poetry.
45 comments

I am not an insect, but . . . like insects, I’m an arthropod
As an invertebrate, I have an exoskeleton for a bod
In order to grow, I shed my shell in a process known as molting
I hide until my shell grows back (but not because I look revolting)
 
Instead, I’m very vulnerable without my protective shield
So I hide in rocky crevices until my body’s fully healed
Unlike insects, winged and not, classified as insecta
With several other sea creatures, I’m in the class crustacea
 
Like spiders, ticks, and tiny mites, I have flexible joints and limbs
With both swimmerets and legs, I’m able  to crawl, walk, and swim
Like millipedes or centipedes, I have more than two left feet
But my real claim to fame is being a “bug” that people eat
 
If you are dared to eat a bug, that’s a bet you ought to take
In fact, many prefer eating me over a perfectly cooked steak
If I’m not caught and eaten, I can live for a hundred years
Growing larger and stronger, evading capture and disease
 
Although I’m not inclined to brag, and I would never, ever boast
The largest weighed 44 pounds, when caught off Nova Scotia’s coast
Symmetrical bilaterally, my head is fused with my thorax
This cephalothorax combo is covered by my carapace
 
My head includes antennae and because my vision is poor
My antennae are my sensors as I roam the murky ocean floor
When I sense danger looming and decide that I must flee
I curl and uncurl my abdomen and swim backwards rapidly
 
At five meters per second, I swim faster than you can walk
That’s eleven miles per hour ~ do the math, and then we’ll talk
I boast many colors: red, green, yellow, purple, blue & deep magenta
Have you guessed my secret identity? 

In New England, they call me “lobsta”

Related posts: Weekly Photo Challenge ~ Red * Red (Inspiration) * Bug-ologist (Kate Shrewsday) * Red (Creating Magic)