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Growing Wiser With Grace April 2, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Humor.

E-mail from unknown author:

As I’ve aged, I’ve become kinder to myself.  I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio.

I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon ~ before  they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60’s & 70’s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love . . . I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon, despite pitying glances from the younger crowd.

They, too, will grow old . . . if they’re lucky.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.  But some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken.  How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or when someone’s beloved pet gets hit by a car?  Broken hearts give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will  never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs forever etched into deep grooves on my face.  Many die far too young, before experiencing gray hair and laugh lines.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive.  You care less about what other people think.  I’ve even earned the right to be wrong.

I like being old ~ it has set me free. I  like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever, but while I am here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.

And I shall eat dessert  every single day . . . if I feel like it.

Related posts:  Advice From Erma * Dare to Make Mistakes * When I Am An Old Woman * Life Lessons ~ Randy Pausch * The Awakening by Sonny Carroll



1. Piglet in Portugal - April 2, 2011

This is such a beautiful post and your words echo my thoughts… 🙂

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Glad you enjoyed. But most of these words are not mine. The articles linked at the bottom are excellent too.

Piglet in Portugal - April 2, 2011

I can really relate to “Create Space For What Matters” Mr Piglet so caught up in his To Do Lists!

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

No matter what . . . our “In Box” will NEVER be empty. We must take time to enjoy the journey.

2. Debra - April 2, 2011

Aww yes a good post.:) Live life!!!

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Enjoy the journey. Seize the day! 😀

3. Booksphotographsandartwork - April 2, 2011

A nice way too look at it.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

I agree. We can shake our fist all we want, but time keeps moving forward.

4. carldagostino - April 2, 2011

Last time I made my bed was when I left home for college in 1967. Aging. My father is 88 as was always a hands on fix everything guy. Lost an eye 50 years ago. He gets frustrated often not being able to do this or that, but much to his credit handles it very well. With grace. I don’t think I will do as well.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

You might surprise yourself. We start to be more thankful for what we can do . . . focusing less on what is beyond our capabilities.

5. phrogmom - April 2, 2011


nrhatch - April 2, 2011

I agree. The linked articles are also awesome reminders.

6. suzicate - April 2, 2011

Love this every time I read it…that is my goal, to age gracefully! Thank you for that reminder today.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

You seem to be doing just that . . . growing in wisdom, kindness, and compassion. If that’s not a recipe for grace, nothing is.

7. Ed Williams - April 2, 2011

Here here!! Love it

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Glad you enjoyed.

8. Maggie - April 2, 2011

I sure hope I have this kind of outlook on life when I get older.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Start now. 😀

But, my best guess is that you will . . . you seem very wise already, Maggie.

9. adeeyoyo - April 2, 2011

Thank you for this great post, Nancy. Up until about a year ago I fought against ageing as hard as I could. But I’ve slowly realised that we CAN enjoy getting older – and the privileges it brings! 😉

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Same here. When I turned 50, I granted myself freedom that I had not previously afforded myself. It’s been a step in the right direction. 😀

10. Paula Tohline Calhoun - April 2, 2011

“And when I am old I shall wear purple. . .” Except in my case I’ll wear orange – not flatttering for me, but I love it anyway.

I remember a time when our Matt was in Jr. High School, and we went out to a restaurant that had a 50’s theme – and played music from that era. I loed those tunes, and I was really boppin’ along while sitting in my chair, and singing along. “Matt’s face turned red as he was watching me, trying to disassociate himself from me. Finally he leaned oer to me and “Mom! Stop it! You’re embarrassing yourself!” I laughed and said, “Oh, no, Matt – I’m embarrasing YOU! And quite enjoying it, too”

It took a long time for him to forgive me! LOL Funny, but he remembers that incident now with a great deal of enjoyment.

I had such fun throwing my usual shy self out the window and being brazen enough to be noticed1 😀

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

BFF sometimes pretends not to know me when I started groovin’ to the tunes.

11. Carol Ann Hoel - April 2, 2011

I’d rather be young, if only it didn’t mean what it would mean, being who I was when I was young. Clarifying, I am who I was, of course, except for years of experience and a more compassion. Oh, yes, the laugh lines and the gray hair. Yes, aging changes us. And, yes, there is freedom and abandon as we let go of what slips from our fingers whether we like it or not. lol. Smile. Blessings to us elderly and the young, as well, and singularly to you, Nancy, for writing this post…

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

I would love to package my inner self and accumulated wisdom in my 25 year old body . . . but I do not want to be my 25 year old self again. I am much happier now than I ever was back then.

I wish I could claim credit for writing this, but I can’t. All I did was edit it a bit here and there to improve the flow.

12. 1959duke - April 2, 2011

What a wonderful post. Getting old does have many advantages.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

It sure does! Except for the physical deterioration, I am much happier to be who I am today.

13. Rosa - April 2, 2011

That was a wonderful email and I am so glad that you shared it with us! I think that with age comes a confidence that is not possible in youth. I am only in my early thirties, but I appreciate myself so much more than I did 10 years ago!!

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

And it tends to get better and better ~ you’ll understand who you are and what makes you tick more with each passing decade.

14. Tilly Bud - April 2, 2011

It’s true what they say – youth is wasted on the young. There’s something so free-ing about growing old.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

I agree. I feel far more liberated than I did in my teens and twenties.

15. run4joy59 - April 2, 2011

Excellent! Isn’t it nice to be old enough to do exactly what we want to do and not have to worry about what anyone else thinks?!

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Yes. It. Is. 😎

Much of the self-consciousness I felt in my teens has dissipated over time. I feel comfortable in my own skin . . . even if it doesn’t have the youthful radiance it had years ago.

16. clarbojahn - April 2, 2011

Thank you for this post. I eat my cookies first and wear purple. As I’ve grown older I take myself a lot less seriously and think a lot less of what others think of me. I don’t want to grow too old though. I want to die in my sleep before my husband.(Isn’t that selfish?)Been through it once and don’t want to be a widow again.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

That’s understandable, Clar. I haven’t been through that once, and I still feel like I might like to be the first to go. BFF and I have been together for more than half our lives . . . it would be odd being “one” without the other.

17. barb19 - April 2, 2011

I love this and hope I am living by it! Each day is precious and will never come again, so make the most of life and ENJOY!
btw – as I’ve got older, I have at last learned to say “no” and not feel guilty!

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Same here. I used to feel compelled to do what others “invited” me to do UNLESS I had an actual excuse or reason why I could not do or attend something.

Now, I realize that I can “Just say no . . . thanks.”

18. Penny - April 2, 2011

A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect. I like those words. We are faced with many challenges in this walk of life. Enjoying life, and making the best of each day works for me. We have one life-and its truly what we make of it.

nrhatch - April 2, 2011

Well said, Penny. Whatever we’re doing ~ from weeding the garden to cooking dinner to writing a blog post ~ we can enjoy our “aliveness” and make the most of the moment.

19. Cindy - April 3, 2011

Fabulous; I like you too 🙂

nrhatch - April 3, 2011

Thanks, Cin! We’re getting BETTER, not OLDER.

20. eof737 - April 3, 2011

And don’t forget to celebrate with a glass of wine. You have earned the right to do all of the things you mentioned above and more. Hear! Hear! 🙂

nrhatch - April 3, 2011

We’re worth it! 😀

21. kateshrewsday - April 3, 2011

Lovely, uplifting words. I would rather be the age I am now than any other: life is rich.

nrhatch - April 3, 2011

Me too! It’s a great feeling to be exactly who and where we want to be in life. Aah . . .

22. estherlou - April 3, 2011

So much well said. The older we get, the more we seem to “fit our skin”. It’s too bad it took so long, but the satisfaction and freedom that brings is really enjoyable.

nrhatch - April 3, 2011

It really is. Glad that’s been your experience as well, Esther.

23. gospelwriter - April 3, 2011

I am younger in spirit, and freer, than I have ever been. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that I see a world of potential, instead of one of limitations. I am doing things I’ve never dared to dream I could… I would have to be nuts to want to go back to something I never had.

nrhatch - April 3, 2011

Same here. I feel more in tune with life and with who I am than ever before . . . and that’s a very liberating place to be.

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