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His Lies Revealed His Truth March 4, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Blogging, Writing & Writers.
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Everything you read in the [blogosphere] is absolutely true . . . except for the rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge. ~ Erwin Knoll

Not long ago, a blogger lied about a story of which I happened to have first-hand knowledge.

The self-serving nature of his skewed recitation gave me greater insights into his character than any number of “truths” he might have shared.

His lies revealed his truth.

No rules.  Just write!

What about you?  Have you ever caught anyone misrepresenting “the facts” to gain support or garner sympathy for their cause? 

What did their lies and half-truths reveal about them and their values? 

Posted in response to Sidey’s Weekend Theme ~ Discovering the Truth! 

Related posts: Writing: A Paradigm of Lies (Cities of the Mind) * To Lie, Or Not To Lie * Ignorance, Apathy, and Dishonesty * You Can’t Handle The Truth * To Thine Own Self Be True * Kindly Be HonestDeception * Who Are You?

Comments»

1. kateshrewsday - March 4, 2011

Oooooh, me first! I work with kids and they are a scream because a really good lying session usually tells us exactly what happened through inference: even a well-placed shotgun ‘it wasn’t me” from one kid out of thirty usually indicates a searingly guilty conscience. Life working with kids is endlessly funny.

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Transparent lies are the best! And kids are endlessly amusing.

“Hey, little liar . . .”

viewfromtheside - March 4, 2011

they often haven’t learned the adult ability to lie. they usually want to be honest

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

I’m sure they do learn by watching us “shade the truth” to suit our purposes.

At a rather young age, the Ego starts acting for self-promotion and self-preservation.

If “cornered,” it lies to escape punishment or to gain other benefits. When caught in a lie, it screams, “You would do it too!” 😀

2. eof737 - March 4, 2011

I like the Erwin quote… there’s no way to tell unless we have first hand knowledge and then who knows, until you hear all sides.
The answer to your question is no, I haven’t had that experience on the internet and if it ever surfaced, they would have my sympathy because anyone desperate enough to misrepresent facts for sympathy probably needs it badly! 🙂
Eliz

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

I happen to agree with you, Eliz.

I debated “outing him” by telling people what really happened “behind the scenes” . . . but decided against it.

In due time, his readers will see who he really is.

Or they won’t.

3. Tilly Bud - March 4, 2011

I’ve only had one unpleasant experience and I was only an extra in the story so, no, not really. But give it time!

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Maybe I miss practicing law . . . these occasional cyber skirmishes can be FUN. 😉

4. granny1947 - March 4, 2011

Hi NR…We had so much of that sort of thing on Letterdash and the nastiness continues…sigh.

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

I’m fortunate in this case that his lies helped his cause (garnering sympathy and support for his blog) without hurting me.

I’m steering clear of him and he’s steering clear of me . . . he knows that I have the actual e-mails saved in a folder.

If he misquotes me again . . . I’m publishing them here.

5. oldancestor - March 4, 2011

Anyone with an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife has probably been misrepresented.

Another question is, have any of US ever painted a slightly altered version of reality for self-serving purposes? Probably. Hopefully not in print though!

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Growing up, I used to do it on a fairly regular basis . . . and I do think it illustrated the truth of who I was at that time.

Now, if I’m embarrassed by something I’ve done, I am apt to tell people about my “wrong choice” to remind myself to make better choices in the future.

6. viewfromtheside - March 4, 2011

i think most ‘truths’ could have different versions. truth could be rather like an elephant, different from different angles and proximity

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

I agree. But, in this case, he misquoted an e-mail I sent him. Instead of using my BENIGN words . . . he placed MALIGNANT words in my mouth and claimed he’d been ATTACKED. 😦

Since he didn’t attach my name to the misquote, and he seems so desperate in his efforts to gain readers, I let the fantasy live on.

Now, I steer clear of him completely.

7. Debra - March 4, 2011

perception plays a key role in truths. but there is the person who decides the only perception that matters is their own.

yet…when a person tells a lie (self-centered)….of such magnitude…yes their lie tell the truth…they are in need of compassion and so are those for which the lies hurt.

and yes this has happened to me. not in the blogging world but in others. and it always make me sad no matter who it happens to.

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Perception can enter into it. In this case, I read the fictional story he created to sell to his readers and compared it with my words in the original e-mail.

Not even close.

The only way he could have gotten from my words to his rendition is through intentional misrepresentation . . . or delusion.

He has my compassion, but he’s lost my support.

8. 1959duke - March 4, 2011

This reminds me of a story when I was in High School. I was team manager for the football team. One Saturday morning one of the players was telling this wonderful story how him and this girl “did it” the previous night. Two small peoblems with his story. The first being she was with me. The second was she was so conservative that there was no way she was going to be doing that with anyone.

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Excellent example, Duke. Testosterone in action. Did you set the record straight? Or tell the girl about his claims?

That’s similar to what I observed here: Testosterone. Male Bravado. Bragging Rights. Macho Man. Chest Beating.

Mr. Blogger claimed he was FURIOUS about what an “unnamed assailant” had said and that he was using his ANGER to spur him forward to make his blog even BIGGER . . . Yadda Yadda Yadda

9. Carol Ann Hoel - March 4, 2011

If a person will outright lie or blatantly misrepresent the truth to a point, there is no reason to trust anything said by such a person that cannot be verified through a trustworthy source. A liar, when caught, loses credibility.

I have heard things said flippantly that could not be trusted as truth. I don’t want to carelessly say words that may not be true. In conversation, it’s easy to talk too much. And some things that are true, need not be repeated. Blessings to you, Nancy…

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

All good points, Carol Ann. And I agree with you . . . a liar, once caught, loses credibility. That’s why I’m steering clear of this guy.

Actually, I was already growing weary of his self-serving statements. He gives himself far too many pats on the back for helping and supporting other writers . . . when it’s patently obvious (to me, at least) that his primary motivation is his Ego’s insatiable desire for a bigger piece of the blogging pie. 😀

10. SuziCate - March 4, 2011

Oh yes, I have certainly seen that happen!

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Fore-warned is fore-armed.

Once we see through the lies, at WHO these people really are, we learn to look beyond their words . . . and consider their actions instead.

11. classyrose - March 4, 2011

I learned that I could no longer trust them and distanced myself from them. 🙂

nrhatch - March 4, 2011

Smart girl. Best way to handle it . . . if we’re able to avoid them.

12. Cindy - March 5, 2011

Oh yes, I have found many people who do that 😦

nrhatch - March 5, 2011

Leaving a hearing once, an attorney (who had just accused me in open court of missing a scheduled deposition to gain an unfair advantage ~ a statement he KNEW to be false) turned to me and said, “You would have done the same thing.”

I wheeled around, looked him in the eye, and said, “No. I would not have done that. I’d rather lose a case than lose my integrity.”

That shut him up.

13. Piglet in Portugal - March 5, 2011

Hi,
I am a bit of a “softy” at heart;hard on the outside but soft as anything when you break through the shell. I was recently really hurt by someone to the point it made me cry. I had done absolutely nothing to deserve the way I was treated I was just caught in the fall out… 😦

I’m not a complex person with a hidden agenda (as my blogging buddies well know) and always try to encourage and support others. I love blogging but it is meant to be for fun…However,I’m gradually learning about the “darker” side of blogging and the “mindgames” some people play – is it to gain attention?. I hope if she is reading this…she feels at least some shame as to how she treated the people who supported her.
So in answer to your question I feel sorry for her because while I feel she was hurt my “someone” by the posts she made the hurt turned to paranoia which was in turn directed against those who would have supported her. I am not going to let it sour my blogging experience as I am a postive person. I’ve not shared my hurt before…SLTW sounds like your problems were more tangible. It’s funny the “web” has a double meaning and for some double standards.
Loved your post it’s so short and simple but said so much! Sometimes less is def more 🙂

All the best
PiP

nrhatch - March 5, 2011

Don’t know that this will help, but it might.

Assume that she set out purposely to upset you and destroy your equilibrium.

Then CHOOSE not to give her that satisfaction.

Focus on the rightness of your own actions, including the love, and support you offer to others. When you do, what others do to you and around you fades away without destroying your inner peace.

You rock, PiP! Don’t let anyone take that away from you. 😀

Piglet in Portugal - March 5, 2011

You are absolutely right the whole episode was eating away at my inner peace as I kept asking myself “Why?” Just by posting my thoughts has actually been a release and the “Why?” no longer matters… 🙂 🙂

Thankyou!…bet you never thought of yourself as an agony aunt LOL 🙂

nrhatch - March 5, 2011

The Agony Aunt . . . that’s me!

I find that it is not WHAT happens that destroys our inner peace . . . it’s how we are choosing to VIEW what happened that steals our happiness.

How we relate to the issue IS the issue. 😀

Glad you’re regaining your equilibrium. The faster we choose to let go of the past . . . the more energy we have to embrace the future.

14. Piglet in Portugal - March 5, 2011

Sorry if my writing is a bit “irratic” but I still feel upset 😦
PiP

nrhatch - March 5, 2011

No apology necessary, PiP.

15. Weekend theme – roundup « Viewfromtheside's Blog - March 7, 2011

[…] Spirit lights the way (Nancy) […]

16. viviankirkfield - March 7, 2011

Hi Nancy,
Sorry I’ve been out of commission for a few days…bad cold. 😦
Your open and honest post…and responses to other bloggers’ comments…reveal your pure soul. There are always people who will misinterpret or misrepresent or mis-something. And it is hurtful and offensive as well, when we are accused unjustly.
I only got spanked once in my life by my mother…and was angry for a very long time because I felt I hadn’t deserved it…a classmate had stolen some pennies from his mother’s purse to buy candy for me on the way to school…his mother discovered the crime and dragged her son downstairs to our apartment and banged on the door. When my mother answered the door, she began screaming about what a “bad” girl I was, encouraging her son to steal from her. I guess my mom was so humuliated, she just reacted…what they call a “knee-jerk” reaction…she whirled around to me, took me by the shoulder, turned me half-around, and smacked my behind saying, “Vivian, go to your room!”

I do understand how you are still upset, even though you “know” you should just forget about it. As you can see, I remember that moment in my life vividly…and although I had “forgiven” my mother by the next day, the incident remained burned in my memory.
I did a post on honesty and how it relates to parenting and children: http://viviankirkfield.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/quotable-timeless-tuesdays-honesty/
Sorry my response was so long…but I’m glad to be able to write again. 🙂

nrhatch - March 7, 2011

Thanks, Vivian.

Actually, I never trusted the blogger in question. He always seemed a bit insincere in his comments and posts. So his deception didn’t really surprise me ~ it just substantiated what I already suspected about his lack of integrity.

I know just what you mean about the incident with your mom though. You trusted her to trust you . . . and then, one day, she didn’t.

She may have been having a bad day, or she may have cared too much about what the neighbor thought, or . . . but, from a child’s perspective, our parents should never act in that type of knee jerk way towards us.

My mom slapped me once and I never forgot it either . . . because I didn’t deserve it. The incident remains in my memory bank to this day, with crystal clarity.

Thanks for the link. I’ll swing by in a bit.

17. The Truth « 2zpoint Blog - March 8, 2011

[…] His Lies Revealed His Truth (nrhatch.wordpress.com) […]

nrhatch - March 9, 2011

Enjoyed your post on “the truth.” Thanks for the pingback!


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