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On The Road Again . . . February 21, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Travel & Leisure, Word Play.
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Yesterday’s WordPress Prompt suggested that people discuss the best road trip they’ve ever taken.

I’ve been on two cross-country road trips, from East Coast to West Coast and back again.   Both trips lasted a month ~ which is too long to be gone and not long enough to see everything that deserves to be seen.

Although both trips included a stop at the Grand Canyon, I still haven’t seen  the Grand Canyon . . . except in postcards and on Wikipedia.

On the first trip, at the tender age of 13, I had had enough family togetherness for one summer (2 adults, 4 kids, and a Great Dane sharing a Suburban and a pop-up camper . . . you do the math!) and refused to get out of the car:

Mom:  You have to get out of the car.  It’s the Grand Canyon.

Me (Surly Teen):  I’m not getting out.  I’ve seen Bryce Canyon.  I’ve seen Zion Canyon.  I’ve seen the Petrified Forest.  I’ve seen the Badlands.  I get it.  The West is full of rocks.  Big, bright, badass rocks.

Instead of peering over the rim at the vast expanse dug out by the Colorado River, I stayed in the car and read a book.  


On the second trip, twenty years down the road, at the more mature age of 34, I bounced out of the car,  delighted to have a second chance to see the Canyon’s splendor . . . for the first time.

No such luck.

Standing at the very edge of the rim, I could see nothing but . . . F~O~G.

I couldn’t even see my hand held out in front of my face:

Me: Excuse me, when do you suppose the fog will burn off?

Ranger:  Beats me.  I’ve never seen fog like this at this time of year.  It’s like Mother Nature is running the F~O~G machine at full blast for her own or God’s amusement. 

Me:  No doubt.

Ranger:  Excuse me, I’ve got to stop that kid from walking off the edge of the South Rim into the foggy abyss . . .

Me (staring into the dense fog):  Very funny, guys!  I get it.  Sometimes once-in-a-lifetime opportunities only come around once in a lifetime.

I’ll just have to take it on faith that it is a grand canyon.

Speaking of grand travel adventures, what about Samantha Brown?

She gets to tour the United States, Europe, South America, and other exotic locales, staying in fabulous hotels, visiting amusement parks, parasailing along pristine coastlines, swimming with dolphins, waltzing in Vienna, and her show picks up the tab!

How WONG is that?!

WONG adj.  1 :  Way Outlandish, Nearly Galactic 2 : unusually good 

Synonyms : marvelous, astounding    

But, wait, there’s more!

Samantha gets to test-taste Guinness in authentic Irish Pubs and Scotch at  Scottish distilleries . . . without running the risk of getting fired for drinking on the job.

Drinking is her job!

I . . . want . . . a . . . job . . . like . . . that!

Quote:  Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbors.  Catch the tradewinds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover. ~ Mark Twain

No rules.  Just write!

What about you?  Any funny travel stories to share?  Any WONG adventures  awaiting on the horizon?

Related posts:  Get Paid To Explore * Discovery, Endeavor, and Atlantis