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All We Need is LOVE . . . February 14, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness.

loveHave you noticed the profusion of Happy (and Unhappy) Valentine’s Day greetings posted today?

From those who revere the holiday to those who abhor it?

I find it oddly amusing when people say they don’t like Valentine’s Day because IT makes them feel unloved, unwanted, uncherished, lonely, etc.

This just in . . .

Valentine’s Day does not make us feel good, bad, happy, or sad.  IT is not doing anything to us.  WE make ourselves feel whatever emotions WE attach to the day by the thoughts WE choose to think.

Happiness (and unhappiness) is never in things, places, events, holidays, food, possessions, people . . . it is in us.

Or it isn’t.

Quote:  “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.

All we need is LOVE . . . and Happiness.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

No rules.  Just write!

Related posts:  Valentine’s Day Approacheth (Intergalactic Writers Inc. ) * Dear Valentine’s Day (JannaTWrites) * Happy Valentine’s Day and Mega-Monday Blog Hop (Mirth & Motivation) * Happy Valentine’s Day (postaday 2011) * Valentine’s Day (Pseu’s blog) * Love It or Hate It: Valentine’s Day (Maggie Madly Writing) * Cinema Sunday: Great Flicks (Vivian Kirkfield) * The Valentine Boyfriend (Carl D’Agostino) * Valentine (Reflections from a Cloudy Mirror) * Valentine’s Day (Cities of the Mind) * Valentine’s Day Special (Vivian Kirkfield) * 16 Billion Spent on Valentine’s Day (Duke 1959’s Blog) * Love Is . . .  (Jeanne’s Blog) * My Valentine (Walk A Mile In My Shoes) * Lots of Love (Naomi’s Notes) * Random Acts of Kindness Week (Things In Life I Find Annoying) * A Valentine Comedy (Sarsm’s Blog) * The LOVE List (H is for Happiness) * Show Yourself A Little Love Today (Married with Luggage) * In Search of Definition (Reflections from a Cloudy Mirror) * Timeless Literary Love Stories (My Literary Quest) * Valentine’s Day Aftermath (Walk A Mile In My Shoes)


1. Debra - February 14, 2011

yes! exactly. I could not have said this better:)

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Thanks, Debra. So much of our “suffering” is self created.

How we relate to the Holiday is the issue! 🙂

Happy Valentine’s Day!

2. Patricia - February 14, 2011

Yep, it is our responsibility to take care with what we think.

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

It surprised me to see all the negative comments about “the holiday” floating around today.

We see the world behind our eyes. 😉

3. Maggie - February 14, 2011

Exactly! Happy Valentine’s Day, Nancy!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Loved your post too, Maggie!

Here’s to mastering our thoughts, and loving ourselves!

4. jeanne - February 14, 2011

I agree that a holiday does not make us feel one way or the other. Being happy depends on happeings… and when things are happening the way we want we can feel let down or even left out. Try focusing on others first and less on yourself and you will experience true joy instead of happiness. Thanks for the mention in todays blog, that is a first for me. Happy, joyful Valentines Day!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

You’re welcome, Jeanne. I enjoyed all the valentine’s posts on Love. Such a great word and emotion.

If we feel that Valentine’s Day (or Hallmark) is being too “bossy,” then we need to reclaim the controls and steer our own ship.

Don’t want to celebrate? Don’t. Don’t want to take out a 2nd mortgage to buy diamonds for your best girl? Don’t. Don’t want to subsidize Hallmark’s efforts to kill still more trees? Don’t.

However we feel about this holiday (or any other), we must accept responsibility for those feelings. Until we see our part in creating our reality by the thoughts we think, we aren’t truly FREE.

Have a wonder-filled, joyful day!

5. Paula Tohline Calhoun - February 14, 2011

All my memories of this day are not necessarilly great, but I still emjoy it. Although I’ve never really understood why some people feel free to say “I love you” only once a year? Every day is Valentine’s Day!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

I agree, but that doesn’t make me dislike Valentine’s Day . . .

We can celebrate LOVE with or without a significant other in our life. We can ask our parents, pets, siblings, children, etc., to be our Valentines.

And, as you’ve noted, we don’t have to limit our efforts to a single day of the year. 🙂

6. viviankirkfield - February 14, 2011

Hi Nancy,
All you need is love…reminds me of the Beatles song.
And you are right…happiness is not something others can give us…we must discover it within ourselves. It’s all about how we perceive life…our attitude and reaction to the world and its inhabitants.
Thank you for a wonderful post.
Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day to you!!!! 🙂

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Well, I MAY have borrowed it from the Beatles. 🙂

Thanks, Vivian. When we master our thoughts, we master our lives.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

7. Tokeloshe - February 14, 2011

Well said.

Happy Valentine’s day 😉

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Thanks, Tokeloshe! Have a LOVE-ly day!

8. sarsm - February 14, 2011

Well said!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Thanks, Sarsm! Happy Valentine’s Day . . .

9. Megan McMenamin - February 14, 2011

Just wanted to say that the first google ad right under your post is for depression treatment. Hmm

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Hmm . . . when I look at my browser, no Google ads are showing.

Thanks for the heads up, Megan. I’ll have to contact Google to ask for my share of the proceeds.

Here’s to conquering depression on Valentine’s Day and the other 364 days of the year. 🙂

10. classyrose - February 14, 2011

Well said. All we need is LOVE . . . and Happiness. Happy Valentine’s Day!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Love your idea for Random Acts of Kindness Week, Rose.

You’re a Classy Rose, indeed! 😀

11. Cities of the Mind - February 14, 2011

That’s quite a roundup!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

I’ve never seen so many posts on one subject on a given day ~ all with their own take.

Very cool. Love it or hate it . . . people like to write about Valentine’s Day and LOVE.

12. oldancestor - February 14, 2011

I see a preponderance of female opinions here.

As a man (and a husband), I neither love nor hate Valentine’s day, but I slightly resent being put in a position to live up to some unattainable expectation every February 14th.

The only time V-day is exciting is when you are in a new relationship. Otherwise, you might feel lonely or obligated, depending on your life circumstances.

That said, I agree that it’s self-imposed if you decide to be miserable about it.

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

Who put you “in a position to live up to some unattainable expectation every February 14th”?

Your wife? Or advertisers and marketers?

If the latter, maybe it’s not so much they put you in that position, as that you stepped into it? If it’s your wife, maybe it’s time to have a chat with her about your concerns. 😀

My BFF and I celebrated today ~ flowers ($4), a walk on the beach ($0), a special dessert after dinner ($3). Time together = priceless.

We also discussed the holiday and decided to STOP exchanging Valentine’s Cards. This is our 31st Valentine’s Day together, which means we’ve already exhanged 30 “round trip” cards – one from him and one to him.

Sixty cards that say essentially the same thing is ENOUGH. 😉

oldancestor - February 15, 2011

It’s not Mrs. OA. She’s a doll. All the more reason I don’t want to disappoint her… Because she wouldn’t care if I didn’t do anything. If she was the kind to be demanding about it, I wouldn’t have married her.*

*notice How I act like it was all my choice. Ha ha ha. She was the one who kept me waiting two months for a “yes.”

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

I love it!

Happiness . . . is being married to your best friend!

13. Tammy McLeod - February 14, 2011

My dh and I found youtube videos to send to each other and then he went to Walgreens and bought me a snuggy which has our household in hysterical laughter. It is a contrived day and if a contrived day makes someone feel bad, that is wrong. The green thing is to do without the card and packaging!

nrhatch - February 14, 2011

I love that ~ exchanging youtube videos! Thanks, Tammy!

14. crazygoangirl - February 14, 2011

Well said indeed! I wish people would get that once and for all! You know, that Happiness is a choice and not always the easy one. I haven’t celebrated V-Day in a particular fashion in a very long time…but I feel loved and blessed everyday, which is more precious to me 🙂

Cheers, Harsha.

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

People get caught up in the “I’ll be happy when . . . ” game.

Instead of realizing that true happiness, lasting happiness, comes from a sense of inner peace and contentment, they keep looking for it “out there.” And they often feel that it is tied to finding Mr. or Ms. Right.


When we become more mindful of our thoughts, we realize we have more control over our lives and our happiness than we ever dared realize.

Cheers, Harsha!

15. Tilly Bud - February 15, 2011

It’s about time someone pointed that out.

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

I would have pointed it out sooner . . . but it took me a while to figure it out myself. 😀

16. granny1947 - February 15, 2011

Lovely post NR..you have hit the nail on the head!

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

Thanks, Granny!

If we could eliminate all the self-created suffering, what an even-more-wonderful-world it would be. 🙂

17. Naomi - February 15, 2011

Great post, Nancy – and thanks so much for the kind mention!

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

Your valentine post made me smile. As did your interview with Hills of Africa Travel.

Your debut novel sounds superb ~ scuba diving, penguins, civil unrest, and . . . the search for love. 🙂

18. flyinggma - February 15, 2011

Thanks for the post. We are indeed responsible for our own thoughts and perceptions in life and whether or not we let others influence how we feel. My hubby and I have had 31 Valentine Day’s together and only exchanged cards while dating. We like to spend the day together doing whatever we feel like. Last evening we took our son out to dinner and then visited my parents for a little bit.

Dad said he bought Mom a new salt & pepper shakers for Valentines Day…Mom said that just wasn’t right because he broke the pepper shaker. They joke about Valentine’s Day. Never have exchanged cards, flowers or candy in over 50 years of marriage, just enjoy each other’s company.

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

One year I gave BFF kitchen cannisters for his birthday ~ FLOUR, SUGAR, COFFEE, TEA.

We needed them. We were on a strict budget. The purchase needed to come out of the “gift account.” We still laugh about it . . . and enjoy each other’s company.

Thanks, Jeanne.

19. Carol Ann Hoel - February 15, 2011

Thank you for a good word for Valentine’s Day. I understand how some feel pressured and others left out. I agree that love, unconditional love, is what truly makes us feel content. And, yes, we are responsible for our feelings. This is a concept that people find difficult to live out successfully. Perhaps it must be learned; it’s not an attitude that we naturally possess. We must develop and pursue in ourselves a healthy attitude.

Valentine’s Day is a day like any other, except that retailers wish we would spend our money; and those who can do so, enjoy it, and some lavishly. I say, forgive retailers that may cross the line of appropriate advertising, and get on with the day. Blessings to you, Nancy…

nrhatch - February 15, 2011

Thanks, Carol Ann.

We develop thoughts and judgments about the world, and then must learn that the thoughts we think are not always correct, and should be subjected to scrutiny . . .

The more we ask, IS THAT TRUE?, the more aware we become of the half-truths we tell ourselves.

20. eof737 - February 16, 2011

Valentine’s Day is just another day with some extra reminders about love tossed in. We can love it or leave it… doesn’t change a thing; our mood determines the day. 🙂
Thanks for your contribution to the bloghop! 😉

nrhatch - February 16, 2011

Our mood does, indeed, set the stage ~ for every day. We can choose to be happy, or we can add to our suffering by indulging in self pity for whatever is not to our liking.

IT is what IT is. How we relate to IT is the issue. 🙂

Thanks for hosting the blog hop, Eliz. It’s fun meeting new bloggers.

21. tbaoo - February 16, 2011

i love myself, does that count ? .. in fact i love myself a lot more on valentines day 😉

nrhatch - February 16, 2011

Yes, that counts . . . loving and accepting ourselves as we are paves the way for loving and accepting others as they are.

Unless, we “drown” in narcissistic admiration. 😉

22. l0ve0utl0ud - February 16, 2011

I love your words! I agree completely!

nrhatch - February 16, 2011


I look forward to reading more of your words. We may be on a similar wavelength.

Nano . . . Nano. 😀

23. Julie - February 17, 2011

Such a perfect post. People make too much of Valentine’s Day in either direction. It’s just a day and as you said so eloquently, IT will not make you happy or sad.

nrhatch - February 18, 2011

Thanks, Julie.

When we finally “get that” notion (about people, places, things, and even dates) we are able to steer our thoughts in the direction most conducive to our happiness.

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