Moments Slip Away -> Updown Side February 10, 2011
Posted by nrhatch in Poetry, Word Play, Writing & Writers.trackback
The Prompt:
Treasured photos fill
time-worn antique ladder shelves
with no space to spare
Ghosts from the past, so
easily resurrected,
crumble back to dust
Life’s treasured moments:
bite-size morsels melting as
soon as they appear
How do we account
for the time we’ve spent chasing
restless empty dreams?
The Reverse ~ Revised:
Restless empty dreams?
Time lost forever to the chase
All to no account.
Ephemeral appearances
Melting in bite-size bits.
Life’s treasured moments
Crumbling back to dust.
Easily resurrected ghosts from the past
Dissipate again
No space to spare.
Time-worn antiques
Laddered and layered lives
Treasured photos shelved away
Moments slip
Forever lost in time.
Related posts: Poetry Prompt (Pseu1’s Blog) * It’s In The Mail
Comments
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This too hard even for the bard!
!Bard the for even hard too this.
What would such an exercise have done to Hamlet’s “To be, or not to be”?
Or to Juliet’s “Hark, what light through yonder window breaks”?
I generally don’t follow the Poets and Writers prompts, but this one stuck me as an amusing word play to try. Then Pseu said she was going to do it, so I gave it a go. 🙂
Well I suppose I must admit it. It took me 10 minutes to get the backward order correct. I am ashamed because I should do better as people have said for decades that I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Going or coming would be the same, right?
When the going gets tough, the tough don’t know whether they are coming or going.
I rather like the new version. Has a nice flow to it as well!
Thanks, Paula.
The similarities and differences between the Original and the Revision surprised me.
I enjoyed the exercise ~ lots of fun.
BTW: When do you go in for surgery tomorrow? Will you stay overnight?
I have to be at hospital by 10:30 a.m. Surgery scheduled for 12:45 p.m. Supposed to be day surgery, so I should go home later in the afternoon – depending on if everything goes well – which it will! I’m not fond of hospital stays! I sort of demanded that I be able to go home right after, and he said it was OK! 😀
It will! Just wish you didn’t feel the need to have surgery so often.
Here’s to smoother sailing ahead.
I think I might try this. The result of yours was quite lovely.
I think one way that it is valuable is that you take a poem that is “done” and realize that it need not be set in stone.
We can keep playing around with the words.
I think you’re very clever. I’m just trying to get my head round what they want me to do! Lovely result, Nancy.
I just reversed the lines and played around with it for a few minutes. It surprised me how little the mood of the poem changed.
Maybe it’s a reminder that word order matters less than word choice. 🙂
Your reverse poem turned out nicely. I don’t know if I can make my old brain think that hard this morning. Maybe after a few more cups of coffee…I have a couple of poems to try when I don’t feel quite so foggy.
I’m just sending an e-mail to you with some ideas for your pending visit! 🙂
I’ll try to get it off while you’re still enjoying your coffee.
You did a fantastic job in reverse! I love the following lines… “Time lost forever to the chase
All to no account.” so contemporary! 🙂
Eliz
Thanks, Eliz. I may give it another go sometime with a rhyming verse. Might be more challenging to keep the rhyme and the emotion.
It actually works for me 🙂
Will try to find time over the weekend to do the prompt.
Cool! I enjoyed it.
BTW: It’s Amy’s Birthday today. She’s 21 plus.
ooh i do like your in verse reverse
Thanks, Sidey!
Definitely one of the more interesting poetry prompts I’ve received from Writers and Poets. Glad that Pseu highlighted it too.
I know I’m slow, but I’ve only just followed the link Nuthatch.
Very interesting results: well worth a play I feel. And it seems you found it enjoyable too!
Thanks, Pseu. I understand completely.
Time slips away . . . does it not? 😉
Very interesting idea. I’ll have to hunt up some of my past poetry and give it a try. I think I like your 2nd version the best. Curious, huh.
Thanks, Esther. It surprised me too. Enjoy yourself as you play with words!
[…] got this idea from one of Nancy’s blogs and decided I’d try it […]