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Confessions from a Non-Conformist February 6, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Humor, Mindfulness.

Tammy’s post about Girlfriends got me thinking about stereotypical female behavior vis-à-vis my own preferences.

The predilections of Carrie Bradshaw and her Sex in the City cohorts (Samantha Jones, Charlotte York, Miranda Hobbes) hold no appeal for me:

Little-Miss-ScatterbrainI detest shoe shopping
And wearing shoes that pinch my toes
Or cause me to teeter-totter about
You will never see me eyeing Carrie’s Manola Blahniks with envy
I prefer going barefoot
Or wearing flip flops
In all colors of the rainbow
Feet firmly planted on the ground

I’ve never had a pedicure
Or a manicure
Or spent hours wrapped in seaweed
Or buried in a mud bath
I buy body lotion at the dollar store
I don’t fancy fancy lingerie
With wisps of itchy lace
And see through silk
Functionality suffices

I don’t hide behind masks
Of foundation, eye-liner, or eye shadow
It’s been ages since I donned mascara
Lipstick and nail polish feel foreign
As if I’m suffocating
And my lips and nails
Can’t quite catch their breath

I prefer quick showers to long soaks
And never spend hours “getting ready”
I brush my teeth, run my hands through my hair and go
Except for special occasions
Like dinner with the Queen
When I brush on some blush
To rosy up my cheeks
But not always
I prefer the natural kiss of the sun

No one has ever recoiled in horror
From my naked splendor

Except for Mary Kay
And other purveyors of fine cosmetics

Gifts of expensive jewelry hold no appeal
Nor do designer clothes
I own one purse at a time
And have no need of glittering accessories
Or rhinestone tiaras
I’d rather stay home
And eat pizza
Than get decked out like a Barbie Doll
Wearing a floor length gown
To attend an elite gathering of the glitterati
Filled with misplaced priorities
And superficial people
Who sink their teeth into juicy gossip
Or vicious slander
With insatiable appetites
Leaving meaty topics of actual import
On the table
For others to consume

I reject most “truisms”
When people say, “EVERYONE SHOULD . . . ”
I disagree
Unless the statement ends, “KEEP BREATHING”
Life is not one-size-fits-all
When someone says I MUST, I balk
Why let others choose my priorities?

There is little that we MUST do while we are here
Except keep breathing
With a bit of sleeping and food tossed into the mix
We have far more freedom than most recognize
We do not have to be who they want us to be
We can set our own priorities
Even if shopping is not on the list

My Best Friend Forever is not a girlfriend
Who wants me to shop til I drop
Checking my values at the door to the mall
My BFF is a guyfriend
Who allows me to be exactly who I want to be
No Sex in the City conformity required
No stereotypical masks (mud or otherwise) allowed
I reciprocate in kind

How do we spend our time
With no shopping, pampering, or primping to fill our days?

And no dressing and accessorizing for hours
To get ready for gala balls and state dinners
To which we haven’t been invited?

We laugh at private tea parties
Whilst floating about cathedral ceilings
Pinkies extended
Grinning from ear to ear

Sometimes we can’t stop
Even when Mary Poppins admonishes us to mind our manners

Quote:  To be nobody but yourself ~ in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else ~ means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~ e.e.cummings

Related posts:  Fantasy Dinner Party Challenge * How Not To Throw A Dinner Party * Whose Shoes Are They Anyway? * Live Your Life * Blame It On Jamie Lee Curtis (Silver in the Barn)