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When Ego Wins . . . You Lose January 10, 2011

Posted by nrhatch in Gratitude, Happiness, Life Balance, Mindfulness.

Too often, we fly through life on “auto-pilot.” 

Instead of mindfully focusing our thoughts on where we want to go, what we want to do, and who we want to be, we get mired in the daily dramas unfolding around us, or caught up in stale memories of the past. 

We give our energy away, and with it our happiness.  And no one is doing it to us, we are doing it to ourselves.

When we climb back into the driver’s seat, the results are nothing short of miraculous:

1.  Reclaim the remote control.  Ego is always screaming for attention, reminding us of past hurts  and niggling us with fears about the future.  Don’t go there.   Let the past recede from view.  Let the future unfold.  Be Here Now.  

2.  Don’t Worry. Be Happy.  There is always something to worry about.  Our egos, when left on auto-pilot, tend to envision and worry about the “worst that could happen.”  When we manually shift our thoughts to the “best that could happen,” worry is replaced with inner peace and happiness.

3.  Give yourself a breather.  Close your eyes and envision joy and peace spreading through your body with a glowing warmth.  Relax.  Breathe.  Repeat. 

4.  Spread happiness.  Happiness is a by-product of making others happy.  Share a laugh.  Smile at people you meet.  Call an old friend.  Offer assistance. Listen to others. We get what we give. To feel love, give love. To feel joy, give joy.

5.  Be Grateful.  Count your blessings instead of dwelling on your hurts.  Counting your blessings is an immediate antidote to dis-ease. 

6.  Anything can be a gift of gold in disguise.  When something “bad” happens, it may be a gift.  We would not notice the light in the world if there was no darkness.   

7.  Don’t view the world through a “negative” lens.   Many of us focus 90% of our thoughts on the 10% of our lives we want to change.  Instead of being awed by our amazing bodies, we dwell on the five pounds we want to lose.  Instead of enjoying all we have, we focus on what we still want.  And we make ourselves miserable in the process.

The trick to outsmarting your ego is to be aware of what is happening in your mind.  Eavesdrop on your thoughts.  Monitor how you are feeling.  If you are feeling calm, peaceful, and happy, great.  If not,  adjust your thoughts.  

If you start to focus on negatives, see that as your ego’s struggle for control.  When ego wins, you lose.

Quote:  Master your thoughts, master your life.

No Rules.  Just Write.

Related posts:  It’s Time To Wake UpYour Wheelbarrow Of Woe * Just Let Go * Ordinary Miracles * 10 Ways To Attract Positive Energy * 5 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Miserable * Grateful (Kate Shrewsday) * Finding Happiness (TSN)


1. duke1959 - January 10, 2011

So very true!

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

Thanks for spreading the word, Duke!

2. Cindy - January 10, 2011

Thank you.

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

A song just popped into my head:

Smile, smile, laugh for awhile
Good times don’t come easy
Smile, smile, bring it on home
That’s one thing that would please me

Have a Marvelous Monday, Cin!

3. duke1959 - January 10, 2011

No problem.

4. Judson - January 10, 2011

Another really good blog … you are a vertible “fount”!

— Judson

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

Thanks, Judson!

Yesterday, for a short while, my ego managed to upset my equilibrium. Writing this restored the natural order for me.

5. Kate Shrewsday - January 10, 2011

I love this post, Nancy. It’s one I will have to print off and put up on the fridge…thank you 🙂

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

Thanks, Kate.

I wrote and scheduled this last night, then smiled in delight at your post this morning.

Being grateful is a key component to lasting happiness.

6. Carol Ann Hoel - January 10, 2011

Focusing on our blessings rather than the negatives in our lives is a great way to live. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I love the characters you use to illustrate your post. Blessings…

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

Thanks, Carol.

I get most of my avatars at avatarist.com. I like using cartoon characters because . . . they make me S~M~I~L~E. 🙂

7. jannatwrites - January 10, 2011

For me, being positive and grateful naturally bring on happiness. On days when I can’t see through the fog, I am not as happy. Coincidence? I don’t think so!

P.S. I also like the cartoon characters 🙂

nrhatch - January 10, 2011

I just read a few “sad” posts that caused my happiness to dissipate as sad thoughts flooded my mind ~ thoughts about dysfuntional families, abuse, addictions, financial woes, loss of loved ones, etc.

Nothing in my life changed, but the lever switched from “positive” to “negative” just by focusing on the sadness of other lives.

Then, I came here, read this post to my BFF, and my inner peace and happiness returned.

Coincidence? Not at all.

Thanks, Janna

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