W.T.F. December 5, 2010
Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Mindfulness, Writing & Writers.trackback
W (a writer on WEbook) wrote a novel.
Then, W requested feedback on it.
F (a feedbacker on the site) posted one complement after another about W’s novel in the feedback box.
W was pleased, at first.
Then he realized that F hadn’t really read his novel.
Frankly, that pissed him off.
W sent an angry e-mail to F, accusing F of pretending to read his novel, without really reading it.
Then, he accused F of posting phony feedback so that F could become a top feedbacker on the site with as little effort as possible.
F replied that she had read it, it sucked, and that her comments had been sarcastic in nature . . . only W was to stupid to notice that F’s comments dripped with sarcasm.
W replied to F’s e-mail, telling her that she had no business being on the site, and adding a few other unsavory comments about F’s character.
Then W posted the chronology of events in a forum, in order to alert others to F’s proffer of phony feedback.
Forums can be a great place to vent anger, right?
W invited his friends on WEbook to come take a look at the forum thread.
Then . . .
Frankly, I’m sure you get the picture.
* * * * *
W asked for my Thoughts about F‘s actions. Here they are:
Wait a minute; Take a deep breath, count to Five, and let it all go.
Try NOT to take it personally. Just say “it’s all good,” and go back to your writing.
Focus on something else. Don’t give away your power and creative energy by hanging on to anger.
Related posts: WTF: Watch That Feedback * Our Field of Dreams * Our Internal Compass * Quotes for Writers from Writers (My Literary Quest) * Let Go, Ego! * The Inner Path to Peace * Pop Goes The Ego
Spirit Lights The Way 
Ain’t it the truth? After a certain point (and often well before), it’s so much better for ALL PARTIES to just LET IT GO!!!!! Hope that good advice is heeded.
We can rally the troops around us . . . but we still can’t change the actions of others.
We can only control how we react to those actions.
Thanks for posting this. Actually, I recall the situation, if not the people involved.
Growing a thick skin when it comes to criticism is essential. Nothing you write will be Universally applauded. People hate Steven King and Richard Bach (J.L.Seagul).
The first thing to learn as a writer is to grow up and realize that you can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.
I don’t remember the people involved either, but the lesson is timeless (and anonymous).
Many people have only one way to prop themselves up in life . . . by discouraging others from starting the climb. The trouble is not what they say to us . . . it’s how we choose to interpret their words, and internalize them.
We allow ourselves to become discouraged so easily. At times, a hurtful word or glance is all that it takes to derail our fragile Egos.
Spirit, of course, waits patiently in the wings . . . ready to help us glide up, over, or around the obstacles in our path.
And, you’re right, not everyone is intended to be in OUR audience. If we write from the heart, our audience will appear.
You guys give such great advice.
Thanks, Linda!
I wonder how many days, hours, and moments I’ve “lost” by feeding my anger rather than letting it go. 😉
Very good advice, after all it’s just one person’s advice.
Read, keep what lessons you need and MOVE ON.
Just so, Sidey.
Words only hurt us if we absorb them into our being:
https://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2010/05/23/maintaining-perspective/
Brilliantly put across!
Thanks, Cin!
It’s a simple skill that’s not always easy to master, but it’s worth it . . . after all, our freedom is at stake. 🙂
OMG!!
You swore you’d never mention that again!
I’m ruined!!!
Just kidding, I know nothing about any of this.
Well, I know about it, but I don’t know all the hairy details.
Perhaps it was jealousy that caused it…
*#*
You made me laugh.
I don’t remember the details either, just ALL the wasted energy expended to soothe bruised Egos.
The more we brush off feedback (positive and negative), the more creative energy we have to live life and write on!