jump to navigation

HO! HO! HO! . . . NO!! NO!! NO!! September 21, 2010

Posted by nrhatch in Humor, Joke, Life Balance, Poetry.
comments closed

I am already receiving ads for the Holidays!

In September!

National Wildlife Foundation and Audubon want me to order Plant-A-Tree Ornaments and stacks of personalized Wildlife Cards.

Current, Inc. wants me to order reindeer wrapping paper, animated snowmen, and caroling penguins.

Hallmark wants me to order Keepsake Ornaments, monogramed ribbon cutters, and personalized paper plates.


Here’s my reasoned response:

Dear NWF, Audubon, Hallmark, and Current
We’ve months to write newsletters and get our cards sent
Stop rushing the season with premature ads
Featuring baubles, tubbles, and gratuitous fads
I refuse to shop for the Holidays in September
Same goes for October and the first weeks of November
Tis NOT yet the season to be jolly
Holiday ads in September are mind-numbing folly

The last thing I would buy from Hallmark is a stack of disposable paper plates featuring our photo for people to smear with gravy and cranberry sauce before tossing into the trash:  And He Licked The Plate Clean!

Related post: Premature EjACKulation