Navigating Around Unsolicited Advice September 17, 2010
Posted by nrhatch in Happiness, Mindfulness, People.trackback
Following advice from others often is not the best way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
No one else knows exactly who you are at this moment in time ~ they can’t tell if you’re a rabbit wanting to be a duck . . . or a duck wanting to be a rabbit.
I’ll take that a step further. Most people don’t care whether you want to be a duck or a rabbit. They see you the way they choose to see you, through the distorted lens of their own experiences.
I joined a Water Aerobics class this week.
During the class, one of the participants (who had just met me) said, without preamble, “You should slow down, or you’re going to be sore tomorrow.”
I just smiled and nodded.
She wasn’t telling me a truism about ME. She was telling me something about her past experience with the aquatics class. Using her experience as the lens, she shared her insight into how I would feel on the morrow . . . if I were HER. Only I’m not.
I politely ignored her unsolicited advice and continued at a comfortable pace, confident that I was NOT overdoing it for my current level of fitness.
As it turns out, she was wrong . . . I felt great the next day. If I’d listened to her, and let her view of the world eclipse my own, I might have slowed down, stretched less, and otherwise minimized my benefit from the class.
When we look within for guidance, relying on our internal compass, we get exactly the advice we need ~ custom tailored for us by us:
Wikipedia ~ Compass (in Public Domain)
* We stop making wrong turns and running into dead ends based on the preferences of others.
* We remain alert and open to possibilities as they arise.
* Instead of getting stuck in ruts, or playing roles assigned to us by others, we move confidently toward a life that is a perfect fit.
* When necessary, we make subtle course corrections (or paradigm shifts) to steer from where we are to where we want to be.
* We begin to take advantage of opportunities tossed in our path.
From our position at the helm, we can easily navigate around unsolicited advice and steer in the direction of our dreams.
Follow what you love and it will take you where you want to go. ~ Natalie Goldberg
Related Article: Free Advice
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Spirit Lights The Way 
What should I have for dinner Nancy?
Duck?
No. Rabbit.
Had chicken noodle soup … nighty night 🙂
Hehe, good one, Cindy! Just be sure to have it before your antibiotic 😀
Appreciate this post, thank you Nancy, and the quote is definitely worth following!
When we love what we are doing . . .
When we’re happy where we are . . .
We’re on the right path.
So true – otherwise you can feel like a dog chasing rabbits. Best to find what is true for you.
Exactly. Listen to your heart.
Sorry, Nancy, but once again your post (or the pic inside) has reminded me of something – synchronized swimming! Instead of boring you with one of my long comments, I will instead embed one of my favorite SNL skits of all time (Only the first 5 minutes or so – the rest you can forget!) Enjoy!
I remember that skit. 8)
Shocking that male synchronized swimming never caught on . . . maybe it’s the hairy legs and chests.
Still cracks me up every time I see it! You’re right – why didn’t that ever catch on? As for hairy legs, even Michael Phelps shaves his legs – all the swim racers do! So what’s holding them back – and apparently you can do it without being able to swim! ROFLMAO!!!
“I don’t swim well. . .I’m not a strong swimmer. . .”
Follow what you love and it will take you where you want to go.