Fun with Words: Watch It!

Today, on Fun with Words, let’s see how a few mis-directed or mis-timed words can get you into BIG trouble (and why having a sense of humor is essential to longevity in marriage). 

1) Saturday morning, I got up early, quietly dressed,  packed a lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.  I hooked the boat to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.  

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. 

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed with my wife, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.” 

My loving wife of 10 years replied, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?” 

Oops! 

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 2) At my high school reunion, I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. 

My wife asked, “Do you know her?” 

“Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend.  I understand she started drinking right after we split up, and hasn’t been sober since.” 

“My God!” my wife exclaimed, “who would think a person could celebrate for so long?” 

Ouch! 

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3) A man and a woman were sound asleep.  Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.  

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled, “Oh, no! That must be my husband!” 

The man jumped out of the bed naked, climbed out the window, and landed in a bed of roses.  Scratched, but otherwise unhurt, he got up and ran to his car.  

A few minutes later, he returned to the bedroom and yelled, “I am your husband!” 

 The woman yelled back, “Yeah, then why were you running?” 

Ack!  

Related post:  Fun with Words: Premature Ejackulation  

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Inspiration:  e-mail from unknown author